Kate sighed and got up. She closed the kitchen door quietly and made her way into the dark hallway. Kate had rarely entered the study and only with Eliza. It was Mr Winton’s private room. The house was quiet except for the ticking of the grandfather clock. It chimed eleven as she opened the study door. The pungent smell of gas and cigar smoke in the closed room escaped into the hallway. Kate left the door open so that fresher air could enter.
The flickering of the gas lights moved across the rows of books making their dark spines with gold-edged bindings ripple. Kate moved slowly and carefully, taking time to look more closely at the dark wood bookcases that lined the walls. She had only ever stood briefly in this room while Eliza dealt with the lights and checked the fireguard. No time to really look, only to glimpse. The number of books astounded her. No one would know if she just pulled one down and looked at it. She so missed the time to read and escape into a world of words. At school she had been the best reader in her class and she had ‘gobbled upbooks’ as fast as her teacher, Miss Clarence, could give them to her.
She opened the first bookcase and squinted at the titles. There were books on history, politics and travel, books on the world of science and nature, books about explorers and inventors, artists and great leaders. Her fingers strolled across the leather bindings until she spotted a copy ofThe Mill on the Flossby George Eliot. She had heard Miss Clarence talk of the writer who disguised herself as a man in order to be more readily accepted by her readers and was intrigued. Such courage and determination! So clever to find a way to become what she wanted to be and not be dictated to by the opinions of others.
She opened the book and began to read. She turned the pages carefully trying not to disturb the silence of the room. It felt almost like the stillness of an empty church. When she got to the part about the river Floss she couldn’t help but lift her voice and make the words sing, tracing the image so clearly in her mind that she could hear the water flow across the page.
‘“How lovely the little river is”,’ she read aloud, ‘“with its dark changing wavelets! It seems to me like a living companion while I wander along the bank, and listen to its low, placid voice, as to the voice of one who is deaf and loving. I remember those large dipping willows. I remember the stone bridge”.’
She held the book close to her chest and closed her eyes, bringing her own village to mind with its watercress stream flowing beside the road. She sighed.
‘That passage makes you sad, Kate. I’m sure Miss Eliot would not wish to upset you.’
She dropped the book and turned to see Master Philip standing beside the fireplace. He must have been sitting in the winged armchair and escaped her notice. Across the dimness of the room she could not see if he was angry or amused, but his voice told her all she needed to know. It was a gentle prompt. Hewaited for her to speak and when she did not but remained fixed to the spot, he walked across the expanse of floor.
He stooped to pick up the volume and handed it to her, their eyes met briefly and Kate felt a flicker of pleasure. Philip had a way of looking at her that made her feel different somehow.
‘I’m sure Pa would not miss this. It’s Mother who’s the novel reader and she will have read this as soon as she bought it. She has plenty more to choose from.’
‘You know the book?’ she asked.
‘I make it my business to know what is different in the world,’ he replied, ‘and she is a most interesting woman, as are you, Kate. I’ve not met a nursemaid with such curiosity for learning before and this house has seen a few female servants come and go, believe me.’
‘I’m sorry, sir. I had no business touching the books,’ Kate apologized. ‘I’ve come to turn the lights out for the night but if you’re still up then I will wait.’
‘I’ve no desire to keep a hardworking maid from her bed. You turn out the lights. It’s time I went upstairs anyway. Goodnight, Kate. Don’t stay awake reading for too long and take my advice, let Eliza extinguish the lamps in future, it’s her job. You stick to the nursery. It might have been my father here this evening instead of me. You’re lucky he had a glass too many at the Hargraves’ party this evening.’
Kate listened to Philip’s warning and understood. Her delight with the book showed on her face. She meant to read it whenever she could grab a minute to herself. She felt a lightness inside. Philip had spoken with her, they had been alone together. He’d shown an interest in her. She was confused by it all and mostly by her own feelings. There was no doubting he was both an attractive and likeable person. But she must be careful, for she was a servant and had no place in expecting anything other than to serve. She wondered if he could guess the effect that theirbrief exchange had upon her. She must try not to blush in his presence for that would surely betray her secret.
The book lay in the box beneath Kate’s bed for a good many days before she had the time and energy to retrieve it. Mrs Winton had taken the children out to visit her elderly mother for afternoon tea. Kate and Eliza had finished all their duties so Mrs B said they could have an hour or two to themselves.
‘Best make yourself scarce and keep out of the master’s way,’ she warned.
Kate said that she was going to rest on her bed for a while and Eliza went to wash through a pair of stockings and hang them to dry.
Kate was so lost in her book that she forgot the time and, when she realized that Eliza hadn’t joined her, she began to wonder what had kept her. It wasn’t like Eliza to miss the opportunity for a rest and a gossip. Kate left the book on her bed and began to go downstairs when she heard some unusual sounds coming from the lower floor. They were muffled sounds as if someone was trying to say something with a hand over their mouth.
Kate stood still and listened. There was definitely someone there. She held her breath. What if they’d heard her? She didn’t know whether she should leave or stay. There were whispers. Then she heard the master’s voice: ‘Stay still, damn you.’
She waited. She crept to the base of the servants’ stairs and peaked around the corner. The master’s back was towards her. He had Eliza pinned up against the wall with his hand on her breast. Kate didn’t know what to do. She hesitated and then Eliza looked directly at Kate. She could see the panic in Eliza’s face. Kate did the only thing she could think of and returned on tiptoe to the top of the stairs. She deliberately slammed the door and walked heavily downwards, making quite sure that she could be heard. When she reached the bottom ofthe stairs she saw the master enter one of the bedrooms and Eliza disappearing down the corridor as fast as she could go. Kate had witnessed something she was not meant to see. She felt sickened. Mr Winton, owner of Winton Banking, respected member of society, a rich man and her employer, was a man who could not be trusted.
When Kate entered the kitchen, Eliza turned and mouthed ‘thank you’ to her. Kate took it as a sign that Eliza didn’t want to talk about it and decided to wait until they were alone together.
Later that evening, Kate asked Eliza if Mr Winton had tried anything like that before.
‘Yes,’ she whispered, turning towards Kate. ‘I dread the mistress leaving the house.’
‘Oh, Eliza, what can you do?’
‘Nothing. I can do nothing. I have to hope that he doesn’t catch me on my own in one of the bedrooms. If he tried to . . . what would I do? That could ruin everything for Tommy and me.’ She began to sob, her shoulders shaking and her breath coming in short gasps.
Kate held her close until the sobs lessened and her body relaxed.
‘Have you told Tommy?’
‘What good would that do except to make me feel dirty?’ Eliza said. ‘He knows that I’m ready to marry and that I’m impatient to be with him. He’s a kind one is Tommy but if I told him what was going on and he could do nothing about it, then it would drive him crazy. I just have to hope that we can marry soon. At least he’s not tried it on you.’
Kate held her friend’s hand and they both wept together for their powerlessness.
