‘Well, then, you must go to Micklewell,’ Tilly said, taking his hand and placing it up to her face and kissing it.
She hugged him and they parted on the dockside.
‘We both need to make contact to report our safe arrival in England. You to your flight command and me to the Royal, but they can’t begrudge us some time with our families.’
‘Don’t expect too much,’ Ronnie said. ‘They will want us back in service as soon as possible. We must make the most of our time on these shores.’
* * *
When Tilly arrived home and walked into the School House, she was met with open arms by Dot and Amelia who hung on to her and hugged her until the breath was almost squeezed out of her. She had not been able to tell them she would be coming, and the surprise and relief on their faces brought a lump to her throat.
They competed with each other to bring her everything she needed, the first and most urgent being a cup of tea and the biggest slice of cake ever.
‘You must just want to lie in a nice warm bath and soak away all the dirt,’ Amelia said. ‘We will set out some clean clothes for you. Or perhaps you would just like to put on your nightgown and crawl into bed? You look exhausted.’
Tilly noticed that Dot said very little, but just kept looking at her with tears in her eyes. She occasionally brushed them away and blew her nose.
‘So pleased you are safe, my dear sister,’ she said. ‘Thank God that my prayers were heard. Thank God you’ve come home safely to us.’
Amelia looked at Dot with sympathetic eyes. There was clearly something Dot wanted to say and Amelia couldn’t say it for her. There was an uncomfortable silence.
‘Ronnie has gone to Micklewell, you say,’ Amelia commented. ‘Very understandable that he wanted to see Sarah and Anthony. Kate and Albert will be so relieved that he has survived. Did he explain what had happened to him?’ Then she changed her mind and added, ‘Look at me, cross-examining you as soon as you get in the door. Tell us later, when you’ve rested. Whatever happened, he’s safe and that’s the main thing.’
Amelia went to run Tilly a bath and it was when they were alone that Tilly felt she could try to find out why Dot was so withdrawn. Yes, she had been happy to see her, but her joy was tempered with sadness. She suspected it was something to do with William, but she asked after him anyway.
Dot’s eyes, already filled with tears, reddened. She couldn’t stop the guttural sound that emitted from her lips. It was as if someone had stuck a knife deep into her stomach. She collapsed into a chair and her head hung down on her chest. Her shoulders heaved and she could hardly draw breath. She retrieved a handkerchief from her sleeve, but it was useless to stem the flow.
Tilly leaned over her and placed her arms gently around her. ‘My poor, poor sister,’ Tilly said. ‘Your heart is breaking. What happened? Is it William?’
Dot opened her mouth to reply, but no words would come. She desperately wanted to say something, but could only manage to nod her head. After a few moments her despair lessened and she was able to answer.
‘William enlisted in the navy and left to train soon after you and Ronnie. He was on HMSGloriouswhen it was sunk by the Germans in the North Sea, just a few weeks ago. They never recovered his body.’
The effort of keeping back the surge of feeling that Dot felt was too much for her. She clung on to Tilly and let her grief overtake her. All Tilly could do was hold her. She couldn’t take away her pain.
Chapter 24
Tilly rested for several days, doing very little. She didn’t realise how much she needed to recuperate. So long as she kept going, her body just responded automatically to whatever was demanded of it. Now those demands were removed, there was nothing stopping her from allowing herself to relax. But although her body responded to rest, her mind raced. She tried to turn off the images that kept replaying through her mind, but the picture of the intern who’d hung upside down in order to rescue the soldier trapped under the tank, and the spilt guts of the soldier she’d left behind, could not be erased. She wondered where Jed was now. Amelia had explained that he had delivered her message and then returned to the mainland to catch a train to London.
‘He was told to report to the Fourth London General Hospital in Denmark Hill. They have a need for more surgeons, he said. He didn’t know how long he would be stationed there,’ Amelia explained.
Once Dot had revealed the heavy burden she was carrying, Tilly felt relieved that she had declared her grief but that did not make things any easier at the School House. The dark cloud that had settled over the three women was ever present. Tilly informed the QARANC of her escape and waited to hear from the organisation about her next posting. She hoped they would take their time in contacting her.
Day-to-day life formed a continuous cycle. Morning routines followed by the regime of the school day gave a structure to their lives and enabled Dot to function, even if sometimes on a superficial level. The demands of the children took over and Dot gave the impression of being absorbed in her work, although Tilly believed this to be a front to disguise the depth of her feeling and the huge sense of loss that governed her everywaking hour. Tilly felt helpless in the wake of such a powerful force and busied herself doing as much as she could around the house. She even volunteered to help in the classroom, listening to children reading, preparing art materials and assisting with PE and games, which she had to admit she really enjoyed. She didn’t think she was at all inclined towards teaching as she didn’t feel any particular affinity towards young children, but she found herself getting quite excited when playing a game of netball or football. Witnessing a child beginning to discover the joy of books gave her a little buzz as she helped those who stumbled over words gain in confidence.
At the end of one school day, Tilly was preparing dinner and noticed that Dot had not appeared from the classroom. She turned down the oven and went in search of her. Amelia was outside in the garden and Tilly called from the kitchen door. ‘Is Dot out there with you, Amelia?’
‘No, she must be marking books,’ Amelia replied.
Tilly made her way across the schoolyard to Dot’s classroom. She opened the door and saw Dot, as Amelia had predicted, at her desk. She was facing away, looking out of the window onto the fields beyond. She didn’t turn as Tilly entered the room.
‘Dinner is almost ready, Dot,’ Tilly said.
There was no reply.
Till moved to stand at Dot’s shoulder and placed a hand gently on her back.
‘Dot?’ Tilly said. ‘Are you all right?’
