It was now the time of year when new life began bursting out all over the countryside. The days were now getting longer and the sea air was beginning to lose its bite. Coats were no longer buttoned up tightly to the neck and scarves were worn loosely, ready to be knotted if needed. Buds were appearing on the trees and the first crocuses were pushing their way through the earth in gardens and parks around the town.
The warmer weather cheered Sarah. She had really enjoyed meeting Dot and Amelia, and felt that they would get on well. She would so love to become part of their family, but there was the problem of David Jones. She wasn’t free. She couldn’t be with Ronnie so long as David would not let her go. She knew that he was quite capable of attacking Ronnie if they ever met again. He had threatened her and he might try to take Anthony away from her. She couldn’t risk that.
Sarah stepped outside and felt the warmth of the early morning sun kiss her cheeks. She lifted Anthony into his pushchair and started the walk through the back streets towards her aunts’ house. She smiled to herself as she thought about how much her life had changed over the past year. She tried to push her worries to the back of her mind and concentrate on the good things.
On her way to work, there were several twists and turns, roads to cross and one narrow alleyway to walk through before she reached her aunts’ house and, although there were plenty of people about most of the time on her route, the alley always made her feel rather nervous. That morning, she had the sense of someone following her at a distance. She resisted the urge to turn around, but was sure she could hear footsteps behind her. She stopped to adjust Anthony’s woollen hat, which had slipped down across his eyes, and listened. Her heart began thumpingin her chest as if it was trying to escape. She so wanted to turn around and see if it was her husband following her. Every day since she had mentioned getting a divorce, she expected to meet him at every street corner or for him to jump out from behind a row of dustbins. She listened, barely daring to breathe. Not a sound. She was approaching the entrance to the alleyway. A man with a rolled-up umbrella walked out of the alley towards her.
‘Good morning. Looks like it’s brightening up. Perhaps I won’t be needing this,’ he said, waving his umbrella in her direction.
‘You can never rely upon the forecast, though,’ she replied. ‘Better safe than sorry as they say.’
Her words sounded falsely confident and jolly. She hoped that her fears about being followed were not detectable in her voice. As the man moved past her, her head turned slightly to follow him but she didn’t want to look behind her in case her gaze fell upon the face of David Jones. She reprimanded herself. It was all in her imagination. There was nobody there. She resumed walking. She tried to control her breathing while at the same time listening. She increased her speed, her heels clacking on the paving stones. She was nearly there, nearly safe. He would be less likely to start harassing her in front of other passers-by.
The opening at the end of the alleyway was in sight, the brightening sky opening out in front of her. The claustrophobic feeling lifted and she inhaled deeply. She was going to be all right. She was safe, for the moment anyway. Somebody was calling out to her. She turned to see an elderly woman holding a small teddy bear aloft.
‘I’ve been trying to catch up with you, but you’re a fast walker and my old legs can’t keep up with your young ones. I think someone might have lost something,’ the old woman cooed,waving the teddy in front of Anthony’s eyes. ‘Does this belong to you, young man?’
Sarah laughed, tears of relief welling in her eyes.
‘Oh, thank you so much,’ she replied. ‘Bedtime would have been impossible this evening without Bobby Bear.’
The working day went much as usual and time passed quickly. She was always so busy serving and washing up that she didn’t have time to be bored. She would be reluctant to give that financial security up. She would miss her aunts too, but she knew that they would understand. They knew how frightened she was of her husband, and were pleased that she had reported him to the police and was determined to continue to pursue getting a divorce. Sarah picked up Anthony as usual and made her way home. Going back through the alleyway, she still felt uncomfortable, though, and rushed through as quickly as she could. When she arrived home, she didn’t linger in the hallway but got inside as quickly as she could.
She had just finished serving their evening meal when she heard a noise outside. Someone was cursing and swearing, and the front door slammed. Seconds later there was a banging at her door.
‘Open up, Sarah. I know you’re in there,’ a voice shouted.
The banging continued. It was him.
‘Open the door, damn you. I have a right to see my son, Sarah.’
Sarah stood completely still and just listened. Anthony ran to her and put his arms around her skirts. Sarah’s heart pounded in her chest. She picked her son up and held him close. What should she do? She couldn’t open the door to him, but if she didn’t do something he would disturb the whole house.
‘Come on, Sarah. I just want to talk. I’m not going to do anything. If you want a divorce then we should talk. I still loveyou, you know, Sarah, but if that’s what you want then let’s talk about it. Why can’t we just talk about it?’
She paused. He had quietened down at least and he didn’t sound as if he’d been drinking. In fact, he sounded really quite emotional. They had been in love, once. If things hadn’t happened the way that they did. If he hadn’t been involved in that mining accident. If, if, if.
She waited to see if he would go away, but no sound came from the other side of the door. After several minutes he spoke.
‘I’m still here, Sarah. Please will you open the door and talk to me?’
‘Will you promise to stay calm, David?’ Sarah asked, her legs feeling wobbly beneath her. ‘Will you keep your distance and not upset Anthony?’
‘I’ll behave myself, Sarah. I promise,’ David replied.
Sarah reluctantly opened the door. She hoped that she wasn’t making a huge mistake.
‘Come in then,’ she said, her voice wavering. She didn’t feel as if she trusted him entirely to do as she asked. ‘Now you can’t stay long. I have to get Anthony into bed.’
She offered David a seat.
‘Sarah, I’m so sorry. I just want us to be all right,’ he said.
‘David, I can’t go on like this. I’m serious. I want a divorce,’ Sarah said, mustering all her courage. Would this just ignite his anger again?
‘On what grounds?’ David asked.
‘Cruelty,’ she replied. ‘You can’t deny that you’ve hit me in the past and I can’t risk you losing your temper and hurting Anthony too. When you’re drunk, you’re a different person,’ she continued. ‘I don’t recognise you. You get out of control. Ever since you came close to losing your life in that mine explosion, you’ve changed. You’ve become a violent man, David. I’m frightened of you. I’m frightened for my son.’
