“What is it?” He asked.
Nymiria trembled, shaking her head. “Aziel, I need you to listen to me… listenverycarefully. Ihaveto marry him.”
Aziel lifted himself up, but he did not move away. He moved his hands to her face, cradling her gently in between them. “If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you do not love me, I will believe you. Look me in the eye, Nymiria, and say it. And I will go. But you should know that whether you decide to walk out of this room and leave, or you choose to stay and let this be what it is, I am yours either way.”
She stared at him, unblinking and cold, her body and her heart bare before him. The truth was that Nymiria had loved him for a very long time. Longer than she would have liked to admit. Over the course of the six months that she’d been away, she spent every hour of the night mulling over each memory—each moment they’d spent together. And she came to the conclusion that she’d loved him the moment he stepped out onto the balcony with Trio, the morning after he’d given her those new markings. He’d glowed like the gods had finally allowed her to see her golden beacon of hope, her home. And while she believed that nothing good could come from the heart in her chest, she’d been wrong about that, too. Because there was not an ounce of selfish rage inside of her. There was nothing, but love. And she had craved, more than anything, to give it to him.
Tolovehim.
Despite the truth, despite everything that was currently stacked against her, she wanted to love him. She wanted to forget Everand—forget the terror he’d unleashed amongst all ofthem. She wanted to forget it, just for this one moment, and allow herself to feel everything. And if there was a chance that seeking him out for help would end in failure, she didn’t want to leave without him knowing the depths of her care. Thetruth.
“I love you.” She said, finally, breath expelling from her lungs like an insurmountable pressure had been lifted. Aziel did not move. He didn’t smile. He didn’t gloat or make any sort of smart comment. He just waited. As he always did. “I’ve tried not to, if only to save you from everything—from me. But, you…”
Tears finally fell down her cheeks, catching on the tips on his fingers. Aziel held her so tenderly that it hurt and healed all at the same time. “I don’t need saving, Nymiria. The proof of your heart is in your guilt. The proof of your morality is in the way you feel shame. The proof of the fact that you are good is how you continue to offer pieces of yourself to people, despite having already given everything. I’ve seen the exact shape and color of your soul, I have held it in my hands, and I can assure you—you are everything that I am not, Nymiria. And if you can love this wretched, corrupted soul of mine, why won’t you let me love all of the darkest parts of you?”
She drew in a ragged breath, too afraid to look at him, and too afraid to look away. She’d always wanted him. From the moment she realized she’d fallen in love with him and even before, she’d wanted him. But Nymiria never felt like she was deserving of all that she wanted. She felt she was too much—that she’d done too many bad things to deserve the love that she desired. Now, looking at him, understanding how he felt…
“I want you. I wantthis.” She spoke. “I want you to love me the very same way that I love you and I don’t want to feel another ounce of fear or guilt because of it. But, Aziel, I…” The words died on her tongue, fear searing through her body when she felt that power rise against her will, ripping the words from her mouth.
He nodded, leaning closer until his lips covered her tear-soaked cheek. “It’s yours already.” He whispered. “Everything you want is already yours.” He pulled away then, eyes moving between her lips and her eyes in a slow drag. “Let me show you.”
She wanted to scream the truth in his face, she wanted to tell him everything—if only he could give a solution to make the terror go away. Aziel had defied curses and spells far stronger than the one placed on her. He’d gone against her mother’s locks in order to bring her justice. He did it while carrying a sort of pain that would make weaker men beg for the end of their lives. He’d done it all for her.
Fight.Sheneeded to fight.
“Aziel,” that noose was at her throat again, squeezing against her vocal chords. She grit her teeth, straining against Everand’s hold on her so much that her face had turned red. Just when she felt as if her lungs would collapse, her eyes dropped away from Aziel’s perplexed expression, to the flicker of silver on his chest. And though it was partially concealed by the dark fabric of his tunic, those designs were unmistakable.
Everand’s sigil.
She drew in a deep breath, shoving the words and her attempt at telling the truth out of her mind. She shoved Aziel onto his back, crawling on top of him to observe the mark closer.
“Nymiria, what the fu—”
She drove the palms of her hands into his chest, using every bit of her power and her strength in hopes to erase what’d been done to him. Having been too blinded with fear and lust, she didn’t notice it before. She cursed to herself, inwardly begging that this would work—that she had the power and ability to reverse it. To let himsee.
She tore at his tunic, ripping it down the middle and dug her hands into his flesh.
Let him see. Let him see. Whatever has blinded him, whatever is skewing his perception, be gone and let him see.
She repeated it in her mind, eyes screwing shut the moment that silver light inside of her flared. Its brightness ignited the designs on her skin, every silver marking glowing with power. Aziel squinted, eyes moving to the place where her hands rested.
The sigil on his chest pulsed with her light, finally visible to his own eyes. The memories rushed back to him, the version of himself that’d been restrained inside his mind finally breaking free from its prison. He watched himself sit in the tavern and drink himself into delirium, remembering that strange feeling he got before he started to believe that Nymiria had run away from him for good. He saw himself in the dark, watching as the wraith writhed and gave him its riddles. At the top of the stairs, the mimic branding him with the sigil. He saw Everand, proud and golden with a smug grin, standing over him and demanded that Aziel kiss his ring.
Someone made her bleed.
“But you didn’t hear her scream for you last night, did you?”
This is herhome.
This is herhome.
Someone made her bleed.
Someone made her bleed.
“But you didn’t hear her scream for you last night, did you?”
It felt like surfacing from a lake of frozen water. His senses sharpened, his heart pounding and his eyes wild. The branches on his chest squirmed, trying and failing to soothe his bloodlust. His vision blurred and bled crimson, his chest heaved under the force of hands that were far too soft. He gripped them, snarling. He was prepared to kill any and every last thing in his path in order to get to Everand. But the moment he heard her voice calling his name, the red in his eyes started to clear.
