Nymiria’s breath hitched as his fingers began working up her calf and to her thigh, that heat that seemingly pulsed in her cheeks spreading to her chest. “Regret.” She said simply. “Regret is a death in itself.”
The look in his eyes became shadowed and just by that, alone, she could tell that he’d slipped into that memory again—the memory of watching her die. His grip on her thigh faltered. “I should never have been so selfish. Your death… it could have been avoided.”
Nymiria released a deep sigh and moved into his lap, clasping his face in her hands. “Don’t.” He still tried not to look at her, that shame till weighing heavy at his features. “Aziel, I amfine. I am alright. I’m breathing, I’m alive. There is absolutely no reason why you should feel any sort of guilt for what happened. Everand… he would have done everything he could to win and I have no doubt that if it came down to killing innocent people, he would have done that as well—”
His eyes finally met hers, shame mixing with anger in their depths. “I didn’t kill him to save the world, Nymiria. I killed him because of what he did toyou.”
If she hadn’t already felt lightheaded at their closeness, his confession would have done the trick. She could never quite understand why the notion of him killing things that harmedher made her feel this way. Perhaps she’d saved herself for so long, that having someone willing to defy the natural order of the universe just to protect her was now a grand display of affection. It was morbid, surely, but what was she to do?
Aziel brought her hands to his lips, brushing feather-light kisses over her knuckles before he spoke again. “My selfishness has cost us both a great deal of torment. And I must confess that it will only get worse from here.”
Nymiria almost laughed at the absurdity of his thought processes. They’d overcome the worst moments of their lives andsurvived. Their villains were dead, the world was beginning to return to the way it should have been all along. They’d done everything right. “What do you mean by that?” She asked, nonetheless.
He stared at her for a moment, teeth nibbling at the inside of his cheek. One the breath of a tired sigh, he said: “We passed your death onto someone else.” Her heart stilled. “We don’t know who they are or where they are, but Dieve has said that they are of equal importance. And while I should just allow Fate to run its course, I can’t consciously sit back and allow anyone else to die. I’ve already been selfish enough.”
The last thing she wanted was for any innocent being to die because of her. This feeling had remained in the forefront of her conscience for years and years, from the moment she discovered what had happened to the people of Nym—to the Mystics she was supposed to protect.
“Then we will find them.” She said firmly. “We will find them and we will save them, too.”
“It could takeyears—”
She shook her head, leaning forward to press her forehead against his. “We have the time.” Her lips brushed over his. Aziel hesitated, his hands twitching against hers before he finally relented. His fingers plunged into her hair, pulling her down tohim hard and fast. Their lips met in a heated kiss, her hands immediately ripping at the buttons of his dress shirt.
“You are the most daring woman I have ever met in my entire life.” He chuckled, but the deep honey sound of his laughter was cut short by a gasp when her hand dipped below the hem of his trousers.
Nymiria arched her brow, biting back on her grin. “And I’myours.”
The sun warmed her, the soft breeze rustling the grass just enough to tickle along her skin. She felt vines weaving through her fingers, blossoms sprouting between her toes. Each cloud that passed overhead seemed as if they’d been painted—all of them almost too perfect to be real. The head stones she laid in between were perfectly framed with the most beautiful moonflowers she’d ever produced. Though they weren’t in bloom during this time of day, they were still beautiful and she could wait to see how they looked once the sun began to sink below the arch of hills in the distance.
A shadow suddenly fell across her face. Nymiria pushed herself up onto her elbows, her furrowed brow relaxing when she saw Desi standing at the entrance to the garden. “I figured I’d find you here.” The soldier sighed. Since the war, Desi’s hair was in its natural state—haloed around her head in beautifully tight curls. They bounced when she plopped down next to Nymiria in the grass, both of their gazes fixed on the name etched into the ornate marble stone at their side. “He finally had them moved, I see.”
Nymiria nodded, offering her friend a small smile. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it? Phyona loved the green veins in the marble. She said it suited him.”
“It does.”
Her fingers wove through the grass, more flowers sprouting from beneath her palm. The sound of trees rustling in the wind and birds chirping in their branches drowned out the silence. Nymiria slowly slid her hand towards Desi’s until the tips of their fingers touched. Desi didn’t even look, she merely wove their fingers together and let out a relieved breath. “I thought you would hate me forever.”
“Why would I hate you?” Nymiria snorted. “We’ve all done things we aren’t necessarily proud of. Besides, I think that it would be very hypocritical of me to not forgive you. I think that I was more upset at the fact that my mother had her claws in everything that I loved. I don’t think she left any part of my life untouched.”
Desi scrunched up her nose, squeezing her hand affectionately. “There are some things that she couldn’t touch. She tried, but they were too strong. You and Aziel, for instance. The love you have for one another. I don’t think any amount of her hate could have ruined it completely. And then there’s you.”
“Me?”
Her friend laughed. “I find it absolutely ridiculous that you don’t see just how powerful you truly are. You always tried to stay in the background and follow the rules so that you wouldn’t draw attention to yourself, Nym, but you were never meant to be hidden. You have this light inside of you, and while I’m not certain if it is because of your godhood or if you were just simply destined to shine as bright as you do, Idoknow that you have a tendency to bring out the best in people. Especially those who just need help finding it.”
“And that is a mystery to me.” Desi continued. “That the people around me who emit such light are the ones who are often left to suffer in a darkness they don’t deserve. You took the brunt of the shadows, Nym. But it’s time for you to step out of it.”
Nymiria’s gaze slowly moved to her home, a smile blooming across her face when she saw Aziel walking in their direction. She thought of all of the pain and all of the joy that led them to this moment—she thought of his laughter, his hand slipping into hers, their fingers brushing. She thought of the disbelief in his voice when she first told him she loved him, how he asked her to repeat it over and over again and how he never grew tired of it, even after the hundredth time she’d said it. She thought of how his hands smelled of leather and tobacco, his sleepy eyes squinting in the morning light to see her despite being blinded by the light.
She looked at Desi and remembered every single night she’d stayed at her side, holding her as she cried herself to sleep. She remembered how much her friend fretted over her well-being—encouraging her to eat enough, making sure she had water in the morning. Desi had loved her through the darkest moments of her life. She’d held her…healedher. And despite all of the odds, was still by her side even now. She thought of Trio, of Thorn and Raven, and every single person she’d met that had given her grace for her mistakes.
“I think I have.”
Epilogue
The book closed. Dieve removed her spectacles from her nose, smiling down at the child that was scowling up at her from the rug upon which she sat. Her white hair fell down her shoulders, spilling out around her on the floor. Her bright blue eyes were narrowed, her face pinched together in complete disapproval.
“That’s it?” The girl exclaimed, throwing her small dimpled hands up into the air. “So, all of that and they just have to wait and see what happens? Follow the damn wind?”
