Everyone was there.
Except Bodhi.
His should’ve been the first bunk I checked, but I think part of me already knew who was missing the second I opened my eyes. Seeing the empty space only made the panic bloom.
Why had he even run to the bathroom, anyway?
He’d been with me since we left the green room. Had helped carry my makeup kit and load it onto the bus. His bunk sat opposite mine, and we’d talked long after everyone else drifted off, voices low in the dark, until sleep dragged me under.
So it couldn’t have been drugs.
Except the thought crept in anyway.
Had he managed to get something when I wasn’t looking? Earlier in the day, maybe. Stashed them somewhere, saving the high for later.
What would I do if I opened the door and caught him mid-relapse? A pill on his tongue. A line of coke on the sink.
Would I stop him? Would I walk away?
Could I?
Fuck, I could spiral like that for hours, but something about the sound had been wrong. Panicked. Urgent. Like he’d bolted from his bunk with no plan except escape.
The kind of fear that didn’t leave room for indulgence.
I moved down the aisle as quietly as I could, careful not to wake anyone. The bathroom door was shut, and the light inside was off. I pressed my ear against the plastic surface, but the hum of the engine swallowed everything.
I knocked.
Nothing.
I knocked again.
Still nothing.
My heart slammed against my ribs.
Fuck. Fuck.Fuck.
What if he really was in trouble? What if he’d overdosed?
The image hit fast and vivid. Bodhi sprawled on the floor, motionless. Vomit pooled beneath him. Lips blue. Eyes empty.
I grabbed the handle and threw myself forward.
Turns out the door wasn’t even locked.
I stumbled into the bathroom, barely catching myself in the dark.
The space was tiny. Toilet. Sink. Shower barely big enough tobreathe in. And on the floor, wedged between the sink and the shower door, was Bodhi.
He wore nothing but his gym shorts. His knees were pulled tight to his chest, head buried against them, hands knotted in his hair.
He didn’t look up. Didn’t react at all despite all the noise I’d made. Hell, I was lucky noone else had stirred.
I dropped to my knees. “Bodhi?”
Nothing. Just a broken sound from his throat as his fingers tightened, tugging harder. That’s when I really saw it. The way his back heaved. How his whole body shook. How small he’d made himself, like he was trying to disappear.
