I didn’t want anything else.
And when Bodhi left me at my door with a kiss that turned my knees to jelly, it hit me hard and fast. I was happy. Genuinely, undeniably happy. Without chemicals. Maybe for the first time ever.
Then morning came, as it always did.
The sun was up, bright and unforgiving, ready to expose every decision we’d made the night before. We both knew it hadn’t been a good idea. There were too many reasons it shouldn’t have happened. And yet we’d done it anyway.
So, what did that make us now?
I chewed on the question as I headed down to the hotel restaurant for a late breakfast.
Would things be awkward? They hadn’t been last night. But we’d slept. Time had passed. Would Bodhi wake up and wish he’d never touched me?
The thought left a sour taste in my mouth, because gun to my head, I didn’t regret a single second. But we were both recovering addicts, fresh out of rehab. The Willow’s counsellors had been crystal clear about not jumping into relationships while everything still felt raw and fragile.
And that was its own kind of complication.
Bodhi and I had been at rehabtogether. Sure, nothing had happened there. We were just friends, and I hadn’t even considered anything else. But we’d seen each other stripped down to the worst versions of ourselves. We knew each other’s drug of choice. Our triggers. The ugly truths most people never get close enough to learn.
It was easy to frame that as a reason not to try. But maybe it was also a reason why it could work. We knew what to avoid. What to watch for. We were already trying to be better—maybe we didn’t have to do that alone.
Yet none of it mattered if Bodhi decided to regret us and pretend it never happened. He’d avoided me once already, on my first day, and that had sucked enough. I liked Bodhi. His company. His friendship. And now, yeah, his kisses. The idea of navigating recovery on my own scared the shit out of me. Iwanted him beside me, leaning on me the same way I leaned on him.
That was the whole point of our pact, wasn’t it? To look out for each other... right?
I was just starting to spiral when I walked straight into someone’s back at the entrance to the restaurant.
“I’m so sor?—”
Bodhi spun around, wide-eyed, the surprise on his face melting into a friendly smile when he realised it was me.
“Morning,” he said, falling into step beside me.
“Morning,” I replied, aiming for casual and landing somewhere just short of it. “Sleep well?”
“Yeah. Waking up without a hangover felt weird, though.”
“Right?” I said quickly. “Almost like cheating.”
He chuckled and guided me towards a small table by the window where Riff and Clara were already sitting.
Okay, so he wasn’t avoiding me. That was something. Though, considering I’d physically crashed into him, it would’ve taken real commitment to dodge me without sprinting in the opposite direction.
“About last night?—”
“Hungry?” Bodhi cut in.
I looked at him properly then. The faint panic in his eyes. The soft flush in his cheeks.
Ah.
So, he wasn’t avoiding me. He just wasn’t ready to talk about it.
Was that better or worse?
We were about to sit down with his best friend and his manager, so maybe this wasn’t the place to unpack mutual sobriety, unresolved feelings, and the fact we’d kissed like it meant something.
So I gave him an out.
