“Hey,” she added casually, almost thoughtful. “If this stuff ever stops doing it for you...”
I turned towards her, and she shrugged.
“You can always ask. Any time or any day. No pressure, and pamper nights are completely optional.”
Her words settled without resistance. No alarm bells or panic. Just another option, an unspoken offer placed gently on the table, right beside everything else I’d already said yes to tonight.
I didn’t answer. Didn’t joke or refuse. Instead, I lifted my half-empty glass, letting it clink softly against hers.
That felt close enough to an answer.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
BODHI
Iggyand I hadn’t spoken in over twenty-four hours.
After the way he’d reacted before we left for Munich, I’d thought giving him space was the right move. I’d questioned his integrity, and he’d bristled. Got defensive. Addict or not, that reaction made sense. No one liked feeling cornered.
Still, something about it hadn’t sat right with me.
Alarm bells had been ringing in my head ever since, and it took real effort not to ignore Iggy’s wishes and glue myself to his side until I knew, without question, that he was okay. The problem was, I had a feeling that if I did that, I’d only push him further away. Turn concern into pressure and widen the gap instead of closing it.
So I’d compromised.
Trix had told me she’d hang out with Iggy on our day off, so I’d handed her my credit card and told her to get whatever they wanted. She’d promised they’d have a pamper night to remember. Iggy had said he was tired, and I clung to the hope that he’d had a quiet night. Something soothing that helped him decompress instead of spiral.
I woke up the next morning alone, hating the empty space beside me.
It was funny, really. I’d spent years fucking my way through tours. Slept with nameless strangers on random Tuesdays out of boredom. Fallen into group sex because the moment called for it and the high loosened everyone’s edges. In the sixteen years since I’d lost my virginity, I’d never shared a bed with anyone I slept with. Had never wanted them there longer than necessary. Because sleep was vulnerability, and I didn’t let just anyone see me without my armour on.
But I’d invited Iggy into my bed without hesitation. Not for sex, though that was a bonus. To sleep. To hold him. To feel the warmth of his body pressed against mine. To let my sheets soak up the peaches-and-cream scent of his skin.
I liked having him there.
The way he curled into my side. The way his leg twitched in the middle of the night and startled me awake. The way he stole the blankets and somehow ended up dead centre in the bed, every single time.
I liked it because I loved him.
But before the sex, before the confessions and the secret kisses and the easy touches, Iggy had been my friend. I’d let him get to know me. Had let myself trust him, and that didn’t happen often. I kept my circle small on purpose, yet Iggy had walked straight into it and made himself at home. Told me, without saying a word, that he wasn’t leaving. That I’d just have to deal with him being part of my life now.
And after one night without him, one full day, I was fucking lonely.
I’d spent the day off with the band, eating local food and doing tourist shit. But everything reminded me of Iggy. We’d rented bikes and cycled around the English Garden, and all Icould think about was Amsterdam. About Iggy nearly killing us both by steering the tandem bike into traffic and tourists.
Even apart, he was still everywhere.
One day was enough. I’d given him space. He’d had his pamper night.
Now I was done waiting.
I was going to close the distance between us. Drag him back to me and hold him close. Gather the fragile, damaged pieces of him and mix them with my own until we built something new out of it. Something stronger. Something that kept us tangled together. Because I wasn’t ready to let him slip through my fingers.
At ten o’clock, I left my room and headed down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. Mick and Riff were already camped out at a table, and I slid into the empty seat beside Riff. Thump arrived shortly after, followed by Clara and Ghost.
“Surprised to see you awake at this hour, Ghostie,” Riff teased as he poured milk into his coffee.
