“You bloody well know I do.”
“I kind of like Cranky Fletcher.”
He frowned. “My head is pounding so much I can hear it. I can scarcely think. I’d prefer to discuss this on the morrow. But I suppose, since you are here, we must discuss it now.”
He sat on the sofa and rubbed his temples. Louisa sat next to him. She was sympathetic to his headache, but she felt what she thought was a reasonable amount of panic at the current situation. She needed help. Running off to Scotland had felt like a good solution an hour ago, but Fletcher was right, there would be fallout from such an act. She didn’t much care for what happened to Rotherfeld, nor to her own reputation, but she did care about her father.
“What must I do?”
Fletcher turned to look at her. His eyes were bloodshot. “I think you must talk to Rotherfeld and tell him the whole truth about what you know, and then ask for him to break the engagement. I suppose I can go to your father and find out…whatever this financial deal is, and also formally ask for your hand. That might grease the wheels.”
“Or you can fight Rotherfeld for my honor with pistols at dawn.”
“I truly hope it does not come to that.” Fletcher let out a ragged breath.
“Are you ill?”
“Too much drink.” He bent over and put his head in his hands.
“Because of me?”
“I was upset. I felt like I had given you my heart and you seemed to lack what I thought was the requisite enthusiasm.”
“Fletcher.”
“I hope you know, I would not be marrying you as a favor or to keep you away from Rotherfeld. I’ll marry you because I want to, because we belong together. Because I love you.”
She splayed her hand on his back. His body was hot beneath the fine fabric of his dressing gown. “I am sorry. This situation is vexing.”
“It is.”
“I’d be marrying you not to escape Rotherfeld, but because I want to. Because Rotherfeld is dull, but when you and I kissed, I felt…excited. Because I do love you, Fletcher. I think you might be my best friend, but you are also handsome and clever, and I know you’d defend me to the death. You’ve been trying to do right be me all this Season, even though it must have pained you to do so.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
Louisa smiled. “And that is how I know that you love me. You want what’s best for me, not what you most want. If I told you right now that I loved Rotherfeld and I planned to marry him no matter what, you would let me, even though it broke your heart. And you’d hold your tongue about how you felt about it.”
“To you, yes. Then I’d go meet my friends at my club and drink a significant amount of whisky.”
“Rotherfeld doesn’t love me. I’ve grown convinced he offered for me to salvage his own reputation and is likely determined to see it through, which is why he must have made a nice offer to my father, something my father didn’t feel he could turn down. Rotherfeld is acting selfishly.”
“Yes.”
“Fletcher, you have been at my side my whole life, and it’s a true shame that we never understood what we really meant to each other, at least not before now. We didn’t have an opportunity to explore what’s between us, and now we’ve arrived at a crisis point.”
“I do not believe the situation to be that dire. We still have a week and a half until the wedding.” Fletcher offered her a weak smile.
“You think I’m beautiful.”
His expression softened. “I do. I’ve thought so for a long time. I did not recognize my own feelings about it, though, and I regret that I’ve been so foolish for so long. I could have saved us both from all of this anguish.”
“I don’t see why my father should turn down your suit.”
“We shall see, I suppose.”
So resolved, Louisa knew she should leave. They had something of a plan, but Louisa found she did not want to leave Fletcher’s company. In fact, she wanted stay.
“Fletcher, I…”
