That's why I pull myself out of his grasp and take a step away, even though I want nothing more than to stay in his arms.
Think about Carson and Reid, Addie. This is wrong.
“Wanna watch a movie? Go for a swim? Maybe get out of the house and go grab something to eat?”
Why now? Why is he trying to be friends now? Where was this when I moved back?
“I don’t think that's a good idea.” I grab the plate of fruit. “Sorry.”
“Wait, Addie,” he calls after me, and my chest hurts as I head up to my room.
Carson and Reid. Carson and Reid. They are my Alphas. They matter. No one else.
Placing the plate of food on my desk, I grab my phone and pull up the group chat with the guys.
Me: Hey! What are you two up to today?
Carson: Work. As always. It sucks. But it also doesn’t.
Reid: I love my job, but when it’s mid-season, I forget what free time is haha.
Me: I’m sorry. I wish I were there.
Carson: Us too! xox Miss you.
Me: Miss you more. Only a few more days and you’ll be here.
Ried: Can’t wait.
Me: Can you video call tonight?
Carson: Not tonight, babe. Working late.
Me: Oh, okay.
Reid: Gotta go. Coach is gonna have our asses if we’re late.
Me: Bye
It’s been three days since I came back from Vegas. We haven’t video chatted since.
Maybe I’m thinking too much into it, but I can’t help but think I’ve upset them.
“Should have kept your stupid mouth shut, Addie.” I groan, throwing my phone onto the desk.
Next time we can video chat, I’m going to tell them to forget about what I said. That they're enough for me, and I want to focus on us and our new relationship.
It’s moments like this that I’m reminded just how young and naive I really am. Sometimes I wish I could just shut my brain offand not think the things I think, or feel the things I feel. But I can start by not acting on them, thinking before I say or do things.
Grabbing my phone again, I text Cae. I really want to tell her about everything that’s been going on, but until I know myself, I don’t know what to say.
She knows about my job and about my evil witch of a mom, but I’ve been steering us towards topics about her; how her new life is going, her new job, how she’s adjusting.
Maybe if I can worry about someone else, it will give me a break from the mess going on inside my own head.
I can’t run from my problems forever, but this will do for now.
Chapter 17
