‘Not a clue. Although, he must have wondered, mustn’t he? You certainly strung him along for long enough, and I know he was fed up and worried that you’d lost Cherry Tree Cottage, because he told me so that night, on the way to the party.’
‘He did?’ I wiped tears away with the back of my hand. Something else to add to the list then. More to feel guilty about.
Brooke watched me for a moment, her teeth nipping her lower lip.
‘And what about that bloke you were sleeping with?’ she said suddenly. ‘Did you keep quiet about that because you were a coward, too? Or was it just that you didn’t want Danny to find out because you didn’t want it to stop?’
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. ‘So,’ I said flatly, ‘he told you then.’
‘What about Rory? Did you tellhimwhat you’d done to his brother?’
‘No,’ I murmured, ashamed. ‘I never had the guts to do it.’
She gave a scornful laugh which I more than deserved.
‘How could you do that to Danny?’ she demanded, suddenly furious and not afraid to show it. ‘What the hell did he ever do to deserve that? The way you treated him! It makes me sick to think about it. You had everything!Everything! A husband who worshipped the ground you walked on, a job you loved, the chance to live in a lovely village and start a family. What more did you want?’
Angrily, she slammed her hand down on the bench, but it went straight through the wood. Through my guilt and grief, the random thought occurred to me. How could she sit on the bench when her hand went through the wood like that?
I shook my head impatiently. What did that have to do with anything?
‘I have no excuses,’ I said. ‘Bobby was a mistake. A huge mistake.’
‘Bobby!’ she practically spat his name at me. ‘So who was he then? And how long was it going on? Don’t tell me it was a one-off because I don’t believe you. You wouldn’t have fallen asleep with him like that if you weren’t comfortable with him.’
‘It wasn’t a one-off,’ I admitted miserably. ‘It had been going on for about two months. He was someone I used to work with. I didn’t even like him much, but there was something about him that drew me to him.’
‘Drew you to him? Well, you’ve got pretty poor taste. What sort of man torments the husband of his bit on the side by sending him photographic evidence of her affair? And it’s not like he even told you he was going to do it, is it? You were completely oblivious. Great judgement you showed there, Kirsty.’
‘You don’t have to tell me that,’ I said wretchedly. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I got Danny’s phone back and I found out he’d sent him that photo. I was devastated to think that was the last Danny saw of me – lying in bed with another man. God, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Bobby and I were over the minute the police knocked on my door to tell me about the accident.’
I shivered, remembering that moment all too well. ‘He left Rochester’s six months later to move to another company and I haven’t set eyes on him since. Nor would I want to.’ I realised I was crying again and wiped the tears away. ‘I wanted to kill him when I saw the photo, but it was as much my fault as his. More. It was me who’d gone behind Danny’s back, and I hated myself for it. Was he…’ I gave her a pleading look. ‘Was he angry, or…’
I thought I’d rather he’d been angry than heartbroken.
Brooke straightened and stayed silent for a few moments, watching me. Then she said quietly, ‘He wasn’t either of those things. Danny didn’t know. He never saw that photograph. It was me who opened it.’
‘Wh-what?’ Hope mingled with confusion left me staring in bewilderment at her. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘Danny had gone to get me a drink and I was looking after his phone,’ she said patiently. ‘When the message came through I opened it because I’m a nosy cow, as you may well remember. I saw the photo and I was so furious that you’d been that selfish and stupid that I decided to go back to your house and have it out with you. And with him if he was still there.
‘I wanted you to see the photo, and what that scumbag you were sleeping with was really like. What you were throwing Danny away for. That’s why I cadged a lift with Lee Hardwick.’
She shivered, even though she’d already admitted she couldn’t feel the cold. ‘To be fair, I didn’t know he was as high as a kite. But yeah, it was because of me we were in the car. Danny didn’t know what was wrong, but he wasn’t about to let me go home with the office letch, so he jumped in the car, too, to protect me from Lee.’ Her voice cracked. ‘So you see, it was my fault we were in the car. If I hadn’t lost my temper about you, we’d be alive and well now.’
I honestly didn’t know what to say. All these years I’d believed Danny had died thinking the worst of me, when actually he’d been totally oblivious of my affair.
Then a thought occurred to me.
‘Did you tell him? Does he know now?’
Brooke stood up. ‘I need to go home,’ she said.
‘Please, I know you owe me nothing, but I have to know. Does Danny know I cheated on him?’
She shook her head. ‘No. I never told him.’
‘But why not? You must have been furious with me! Your deaths were down to me. Oh, I know you were both in the car because you lost your temper, but if I hadn’t slept with Bobby none of this would have happened. Why wouldn’t you tell him what a lowlife he’d married?’
