‘I think you should keep everything for now. Maybe put them in the loft until you’re in a better frame of mind to decide,’ Mum said.
‘Thanks for helping me with this,’ I said, genuinely grateful for their kindness and help, ‘but I’m okay now. It’s done. And I think I’ll probably do as you say, Mum, and keep them in the loft for now. There’s no rush to decide what to do with them, is there?’
‘What about his other things?’ Mum asked. ‘All his ordinary clothes and bits and bobs.’
‘Like I said, there’s no rush.’
‘No, well, whatever works best for you.’
Mum and Dad stayed with me for another three hours and only left after giving me about three hugs each and making me promise at least four times that I’d let them know if I needed them, no matter what time of day or night and for whatever reason. They’d wanted me to stay with them for a while, but I didn’t see the point. I knew I’d have to be on my own in this house from now on so I might as well get used to it.
‘As long as you’re sure,’ Dad said. He dropped a kiss on my forehead. ‘Bye, munchkin. Love you.’
‘Love you too, Dad.’ I watched fondly as they climbed into their car and waved until they rounded the corner out of sight. Then I sighed, closed the door and went back into my empty house. The box had been repacked, except for the watch which had gone in the bin. Danny had another one anyway, upstairs in the bedroom. Not that it mattered. He wasn’t going to need a watch, was he? Not now. Not ever again.
I felt frozen to the marrow, despite the central heating being on.
I glanced over at the worktop where Danny’s phone had been charging. I wondered if he’d taken any photos that night. I wondered if I could bear to see them.
Maybe not.
Even so… Curiosity got the better of me, and I went over and picked up the mobile phone, then turned it on. He had a new message from one of his work colleagues, Dale, asking why he’d left the party and was he coming back or not because Dale had bought him a pint.
I stifled a sob and opened the next message, which had already been read. It was a multimedia message from an unknown number.
A gasp escaped my lips and I staggered backwards, groping for the chair. It couldn’t be!
But it was.
Bobby and me. In bed. Inmybed. Inourbed – Danny’s and mine. Bobby had sent Danny a photo of the two of us while I’d slept? How could he do that to me?
Tome? What about Danny?
Oh, God! Danny had seen the picture of the two of us in bed and he’d known. He’d known what I was really doing when I’d told him I was too ill to go to the party with him!
And that was why…
He’d left the party to come home. He was coming to confront us! And Brooke must have decided to come with him to calm him down. Unless Brooke didn’t know what it was about but had jumped into the car with him anyway, seeing the state he must have been in.
Oh, Danny, I’m so sorry! I never meant for you to find out this way. I never meant for you to be hurt. I never meant for you to die.
With a sickening lurch I realised it was all my fault. If I hadn’t done what I’d done, Danny and Brooke would still be alive and well. I’d been a stupid, thoughtless, selfish bitch, and they’d paid for that with their lives.
How could I ever forgive myself for that?
I dropped the phone and wrapped my arms around myself, shaking uncontrollably as sobs racked my body.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I rocked backwards and forwards like a child in need of comfort, unable to stop the sudden howls of anguish that were erupting from me, as all the pain, guilt and regret poured forth in a torrent of emotion.
I reached out and touched the box containing Danny’s things, imagining him alive and well, wearing them at the party. Imagining him hearing his phone beep. Imagining him opening the message, seeing the photograph. Imagining his disbelief. Feeling his heart break along with mine.
Danny hadn’t deserved any of it. But I knew for certain that, whatever I would have to endure in the coming years,Ideserved every moment of it.
27
I sat alone in the cool darkness of an April evening, my hands tucked inside my coat pockets as I stared into the inky blackness of the River Faran. From somewhere across the dark waters, I heard music as the door to The Quicken Tree Inn opened. I hadn’t gone far, but then, I’d never intended to. I just needed to escape Rory, to sit and think, and work out how to resolve this mess.
‘Penny for them?’
