‘What do you mean, “oh heck”? It’s a good thing! He could see me, Brooke! He could see me and hear me. We had a bit of a chat and then we met up again this afternoon to talk properly. He needed a bit of time, you see, to get his head around the fact that his kid brother was unalive and relatively well for a dead man.’
‘Right, right. And how was he?’ she asked cautiously.
‘He’s pretty good. Told me all about Mum and Dad and how they’re doing, and about his new job. But the really big news is, he’s married! I never thought my brother would take the plunge but they’ve been married ten years apparently. She must be pretty special to get him to commit, that’s all I can say. I’d love to meet her but she’s not with him and at least that means he gets to spend more time with me.’
Brooke pursed her lips, confused. Danny was taking it far better than she’d expected him to. But wait, hadn’t he said he’d love tomeether? Hmm. So Rory hadn’t told Danny who the lucky lady was then? Well, she wasn’t surprised really. Rory must be all too aware that Danny was still carrying a torch for Kirsty, and that it would be devastating for him to hear that she was now – well – his sister-in-law, rather than his wife.
‘Well,’ she said slowly. ‘That’s nice.’
‘Nice?’ Danny’s eyes widened. ‘Did you hear what I said? Rory’s here! We can talk to each other, Brooke. Don’t you understand what this means? I can finally get a message to Kirsty and tell her I’m okay. And I can tell Mum and Dad, too. Maybe,’ he said excitedly, ‘they could come here and with any luck one or both of them will be able to see me too, just as Rory can.’
When Brooke didn’t respond he said, ‘Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten your family. It means we can get a message to them, too. We can tell your brother and your parents that you’re here and you’re all right. Maybe they’ll be able to seeyou!’ He leapt to his feet suddenly. ‘Why didn’t I think of that before? You’re Kirsty’s cousin! If we can get her here she might be able to see you, and you can tell her everything that’s happened. Kirsty and I – we can communicate with yours and Rory’s help. Oh my God, Brooke! Imagine it!’
Brooke could imagine it only too well. Danny would be selling tickets next.
He sat down again and frowned. ‘What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you more excited?’
‘It’s just…’ Brooke didn’t know how to put into words all the emotions that were swirling around in her mind. ‘I’m not sure we should get carried away by all this, that’s all.’
‘Carried away? Are you insane? This is the chance we’ve been waiting for!’
‘Danny, it’s been eighteen years!’
‘I’m well aware how long it’s been, thanks very much. What’s that got to do with anything?’
‘I’m sorry, but eighteen years is a long time. They’ll all have moved on with their lives. They’ve accepted our deaths and they’ve come to terms with it. What good would it do to tell them it’s not what they imagined? Surely it would be kinder to let them go on believing we’re at peace?’
‘But…’ Danny shook his head, staggered. ‘They’ll want to know we’re still here! Wouldn’t you want to know if you were in their shoes?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe. No.’ She shrugged. ‘At first, probably. Yes, I think in the first few years I’d probably give anything to have one last conversation with them. Buteighteen years? Danny, there’s a grieving process that’s so hard and so painful to go through, but they’ve done that and survived it. How would it be fair to put them back where they were all that time ago? They’ve let us go. Surely the kindest thing we can do for them is to respect that and wish them well in their lives? I know I don’t want Mum and Dad upset all over again. They think I’m at peace. That I have eternal rest. I don’t want them to know that I’m stuck here probably for eternity with no idea why I’m here or what I can do to move on. It wouldn’t be right. They’ve let me go and I have to let them go in return.’
Danny looked stunned. ‘You really mean that?’
Brooke blinked away tears. ‘I really do. It’s so tempting to think about seeing them all again. But it wouldn’t be fair to them. I couldn’t do it to them.’
He sat staring at her for a few moments. ‘Well,’ he said slowly, ‘I think you might have a point about parents. At their time of life it probably wouldn’t be a good thing to land such a shock on them. But Kirsty is a different thing all together. She’s still single, Brooke. She hasn’t moved on. Don’t you see? She hasn’t let me go.’
Brooke frowned. ‘Rory told you Kirsty was still single?’
‘Yes! And that can only mean that she’s still grieving. If I could see her, if I could let her know that I’m still around, maybe we could say a proper goodbye. It would help her to move on.’
‘Are you sure you want her to move on?’ Brooke asked cynically.
‘Of course I do. I don’t want her to be unhappy.’
‘And that’s the real reason you want to see her?’
‘Yes. What other reason would there be?’
‘Because you still love her and it’s you that can’t move on?’ she suggested. ‘Oh, don’t look at me like that. It’s hardly a secret. I think you’re wrong, Danny. I think you should put Kirsty out of your mind. Just because she hasn’t remarried doesn’t mean she doesn’t have someone else in her life. It doesn’t mean she hasn’t let you go.’
‘If Kirsty had someone else Rory would have told me,’ Danny said firmly. ‘It must mean that she’s still clinging to my memory, and I have to help her with that. I have to see her. It’s the only way to help her.’
Brooke sighed. Danny was fooling himself. Kirsty wasn’t clinging to his memory at all. She was married to his big brother and had well and truly let Danny go.
The truth was, Kirsty had let Danny go a long time ago. That’s what had caused all this mess in the first place.
* * *
