‘It’s such a gamble though,’ he murmured, his heart thudding as he realised what he had to lose.
‘Lifeis a gamble,’ Evan said kindly. ‘From the minute we’re born we’re battling the odds, aren’t we? Every decision we make could take us lower or higher than we’ve ever dreamed. And we keep gambling, flipping over the cards, throwing the dice, making bets on our future. If you think about it, it’s hardly worth worrying. The odds are stacked against us from the start, because we all know how the game ends, for each and every one of us. Maybe it’s the game itself that’s the thrill. Why else would we keep playing it?’
‘And if I lose this throw of the dice?’
‘Then you go off on another path, and you find something else you care enough about to gamble on. You think you won’t, but you will. We’re all gamblers. We can’t help it. There’s always another game to play, another challenge to face, another risk to take. We move on, Mac. We move on and we survive.’ He shrugged. ‘Until we run out of chips and the game’s over. Who knows after that?’
‘This is a cheery conversation,’ Mac said.
‘What I’m trying to say is, if you love her, and it’s quite obvious by the pathetic expression on your face that you do, then you’re going to have to take a chance and tell her the truth.’
‘But you know me,’ Mac said quietly. ‘You know what might happen. What I might do if I’m thrown off balance.’
‘And I’ll be right here to kick you up the backside and get you on an even keel again. But trust me, it won’t. You’ve been down that road before and you know where it leads. You have support systems in place.’
‘Doug’s gone,’ Mac reminded him.
‘Doug was just a tiny part of it. You know where to go, what to do. But I honestly don’t think you’ll need it. You’re older, stronger, wiser, and you’ve got so much to look forward to. These plans of yours – wonderful! A house that you love. Relationships with your sister and your children to focus on and mend. You can do this, Mac, with or without Alison. You must believe that. Sooner or later we all have to stand alone. It’s the way of the world.’
‘Bloody hell. I feel like I’m sitting here with Confucius,’ Mac joked. ‘When did you get to be so philosophical?’
‘I’ve watched a lot of Jim Carrey interviews.’ Evan glanced at his watch. ‘I’ll have to go. Duty calls.’ He got to his feet, passing Mac enough money to cover the cost of the meal plus a generous tip, despite Mac’s protests. ‘You’re going to be okay, you know, whatever happens. But I’ll be rooting for you, and I really, genuinely hope that it goes well. Let me know, won’t you? I shan’t get a wink of sleep until I know you two have booked the church.’
Mac shook his head, laughing, as Evan headed out. He was lucky to have such a funny, kind and understanding friend. It was more than he deserved.
And Alison? If he lived to be 120, he’d never be able to make up for what he’d done and earn the right to have a woman like her by his side. But maybe Evan was right. Life was a gamble, and sometimes you just got lucky.
And sometimes you had to stop asking if you really deserved that luck and just appreciate it for what it was and enjoy every moment while it lasted.
The rest of his life would begin tomorrow night.
He could only hope the cards would fall in his favour.
32
‘I’ll bet you feel so much better now that plaster cast’s off, Auntie Cherry,’ Rosie said as they slipped into their seats at a table in the Driftwood cafe. ‘It must have been a right pain for you.’
Alison watched, smiling, as her mam stretched out her arm, examining it. ‘Oh, it wasn’t that bad, and I’m amphibious now, so that’s a good thing.’
‘I think you mean ambidextrous, Mam,’ she said, shaking her head affectionately. ‘Unless you’re turning into a frog or something.’
‘Well, whatever, I can do all sorts with my left hand now, which I think will be very useful for the future. You never know when you’re going to need skills like that. If I were you two, I’d start practising now.’
‘I’ll take that on board,’ Rosie said, giving Alison an amused glance. Her expression changed as Alison quickly turned over her mobile phone, and she sat back in her chair, arms folded. ‘Oh yes? Something you don’t want us to see?’
Alison blushed. ‘Don’t be daft.’ She gave Rosie a subtle kick under the table, but Rosie didn’t do subtle.
‘Ow!’ She reached down and made a huge song and dance about rubbing her leg. ‘What did you do that for?’
‘I think,’ Mam said, ‘that she’s trying to tell you not to open your big mouth in front of me.’
‘Mam…’ Alison hardly knew where to look. ‘It’s not that, honestly. It’s just?—’
‘Hello, ladies. Nice to see you all in here.’ Mrs Miller arrived at the table, beaming at the three of them. ‘Aw, Cherry. You’ve got your cast off! Smashing. Bet that’s a relief.’
‘Don’t get her started,’ Alison advised. ‘How are you, Mrs Miller? No Emmy today?’
‘I’m right as rain, love, and our Emmy’s just through there in the shop dealing with some customers.’ She nodded at the archway. ‘What can I get you all?’
