‘Bless him,’ Rosie said. ‘He was a lovely fella.’
‘He was, and he didn’t deserve…’
‘Nobody does,’ Rosie said gently, squeezing Alison’s hand. ‘But that’s life, isn’t it?’
‘Do you know, it was nine years in November. Can you believe that? I’ve been a widow for nine whole years.’
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you,’ Rosie told her for what felt like the millionth time. ‘I tried to get back as often as I could, but I wish I’d lived closer.’
‘You were brilliant,’ Alison assured her. ‘You all were. I’d have been lost without you.’
Her mam and dad had been towers of strength. Rosie had popped back from Sheffield as often as she could and had kept in touch by phone and text. Her aunt and uncle, Elaine and Christopher, had been quietly supportive, and her cousin Niall – Rosie’s brother – had tried very hard not to be so vicar-ish and be more cousin-ish as he’d consoled and comforted her. Although he’d switched back to vicar mode when he’d performed the funeral service in his church – and a beautiful job he’d done, too.
All in all, she couldn’t complain about any of them. She knew she was lucky to have them all.
‘Maybe I shouldn’t have given up teaching,’ she mused, not really meaning it.
‘You’d got completely fed up of teaching,’ Rosie reminded her. ‘You did the right thing.’
‘But that was before I knew Drew was going to die! And before I knew I was going to be left all alone.’
‘If you really wanted to go back to teaching, you’d have done so… afterwards, but you didn’t, did you? You took that job at the petrol station. Don’t you like it?’
Alison shrugged. ‘I don’t mind it, I suppose. It’s easy and the people are friendly.’And it’s on the same retail park where Drew used to work so I feel closer to him there.‘It’s just that I can imagine Drew telling me I should be doing something more with my life than this.’
‘Like what?’
‘I don’t know. I can’t help thinking how he died so young, Rosie, while I got all this extra life. Shouldn’t I be doing something with it? For his sake, if nothing else.’
‘Not being funny,’ Rosie said, ‘but it won’t make any difference to Drew what you’re doing with your life. If you took up mountain climbing, became a nun, or spent your remaining years sitting in a corner, eating doughnuts and quietly growing your Hagrid beard it really wouldn’t matter, would it? Drew wouldn’t know one way or the other. Mind you, don’t tell our Niall I said that, for God’s sake.’
Alison spluttered with laughter. She could always rely on Rosie to tell it like it is. She had to admit that, deep down, she shared her cousin’s belief that Drew wouldn’t have a clue what she was doing now. Therewasno Drew. Not any more. Niall, bless him, had tried to comfort her with the assurance that his spirit had ‘moved on’ somewhere, but she’d only nodded and smiled to please him. Drew was gone. That was half the trouble.
They’d been together since their early twenties, and she couldn’t say theirs had been a passionate love affair – the sort she’d read about in books and seen in films. It had been a quiet, steady companionship, really, but it had made them both happy enough and she missed him. She missed his lively chatter and his smile, and the way he caught spiders for her and put them outside, and how he cheerfully emptied the bins, so she didn’t have to.
He’d been a lovely husband and a wonderful dad to Jenna, who’d adored him. Even so, she knew he’d have kindly but firmly dealt with their daughter’s demands.
‘Jenna doesn’t help,’ she said flatly.
Rosie nodded. ‘Still babysitting every spare minute?’
‘Yep. Don’t get me wrong. I love Jenna so much, and I love Hallie and Ada. Of course I do. But sometimes I just wish I could have peace and quiet, you know? I seem to spend most of my time dashing from here to work, to school, or Jenna’s house to mind the kids, or to Kelsea Sands to see Mam and Dad.’
‘Speaking of your mam and dad,’ Rosie said, ‘are you going to open your birthday cards?’
‘I guess so.’
‘Wow, don’t sound too thrilled. Have you got so many cards you don’t need any more?’
The tears welled up again and Rosie groaned. ‘Now what have I said?’
‘Do you know what I got in the post for my birthday?’ Alison demanded.
‘Surprise me.’
‘A bloodyNHSbowel testing kit! That was my birthday post! Can you imagine?’
Rosie grinned. ‘How very thoughtful of them.’
