Alison sighed. Here it was, then. The moment she’d been waiting for.
‘I did actually, yes,’ she said carefully. ‘I’m sorry to say it, but that’s how I feel.’
Jenna’s eyes gleamed with tears. ‘I thought you loved them.’
‘Oh, Jenna, don’t be daft, love! OfcourseI love them! This has got nothing to do with my feelings for my granddaughters, and everything to do with feeling like I’m being taken for a mug by my own daughter and son-in-law!’
‘I thought you were happy to help,’ Jenna insisted.
‘Iwashappy to help! Iamhappy to help! But that doesn’t mean I want to be at your beck and call every single day, and that’s how it’s felt to me for years now. I have a job, Jenna. I have parents who are getting on in years, not that you seem to care. When was the last time you visited them? You haven’t even asked how your grandma’s arm is.’
‘There never seems to be any time!’ Jenna shook her head and pushed her plate away, having only eaten one half of the sandwich. ‘HowisGrandma’s arm anyway?’
‘Healing slowly,’ Alison said. ‘I’ve been popping down to Kelsea Sands more regularly now I haven’t had to babysit, and I’ve taken over the cleaning and cooking duties from your Aunt Elaine and Rosie. They’ve been brilliant, but they shouldn’t have had to be, should they?’
‘I doubt they minded,’ Jenna said. ‘You know how close they all are.’
‘That’s hardly the point, love.’
‘No, I suppose not. I’m glad Grandma’s getting better. I will try to pop down one weekend. Or maybe in half-term?’
‘Why don’t you all go down?’ Alison asked impulsively. She squeezed Jenna’s hand, feeling a sudden compassion for her overworked daughter. ‘You, Joel and the kids. I’m sure they’d love to see you all, and it would do you good to be together as a family. A bit of sea air, or a walk along the river path. You can’t beat it.’
‘In February?’ Jenna laughed mirthlessly. ‘Even if I said yes, I can’t see Joel wanting to visit Kelsea Sands at this time of year, or any time of year quite honestly. And the girls would get bored. It’s not like there’s anything for them to do there, is it? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll take them to see Niall and the family one day. At least there are amusements in Millensea.’
‘Maybe you should go the whole hog and book a family holiday somewhere. Why not? Easter holidays, you, Joel and the twins. Go somewhere lovely where you can have fun and relax together. Actually talk. Take those bloody tablets away from the girls.’
‘Mm. Maybe.’
Jenna shrugged and Alison bit down her frustration. You just couldn’t help some people. ‘Well, it’s up to you. Just don’t go getting distracted by any other men at work or anywhere else, for God’s sake.’
‘I won’t. So…’ Jenna gave her mother a pleading look. ‘About the girls.’
‘No.’
‘But, Mum!’
‘I said no, Jenna. I’ve done my childcare bit bringing you up, and then the last seven years with the twins. I’ve had enough. You and Joel earn enough money between you to pay for some sort of after-school club or something. It’s not my responsibility.’
‘Other grandparents do it,’ Jenna said sulkily. ‘Look, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and maybe you’re right. Maybe we have been a bit unfair. But what if I pay you? The going rate – well, more or less. How would that sound? A proper job. Maybe you could even give up that job at the petrol station and look after the twins full time? What do you think?’
Alison stared at her. ‘You’re not serious?’
Jenna nodded eagerly. ‘I’ll bet you’d much rather be with Hallie and Ada than stuck behind that counter, wouldn’t you? It’s a win-win situation. You’ll have a better job, and I won’t have to worry about getting help with the twins because I know you’ll be great with them, and far better than any paid child carer would be.’
‘You’re unbelievable,’ Alison said. ‘How can I make this any clearer? I donotwant to look after the girls full time! I need my job at the petrol station. It’s my independence.’
‘But you don’t even like it that much! You only took it because Dad died. You’d given up teaching, remember?’
How could she forget? They’d had such plans, she and Drew. But then he’d started to feel unwell, and just months after Alison had left her job, he’d been given a devastating diagnosis.
And when all hope had died, along with her husband, she’d been left alone and lonely in the house they’d planned to sell but had taken off the market while they focused on his treatment. The days had stretched on endlessly, and the nights – well, they were the worst.
After a year of tears and being trapped in a fog of indecision and fear, she’d finally applied for a job at a petrol station on the retail park where her husband had once worked as a manager of a large furniture store. The very petrol station where Drew had filled up the tank every week. She’d been surprised when she got the job, but it had brought her comfort – made her feel closer to him somehow.
And it had given her a reason to get up in the morning. There’d been no grandchildren to run around after then.
‘That’s not the point. Oh!’ Alison gave an exasperated groan. ‘You just don’t get it, do you? Hallie and Ada areyourchildren. Yours and Joel’s. Your responsibility, not mine. I don’t want to look after them every day. I want my freedom and they want – need – their parents. Why can’t you understand that?’
