‘I thought… I thought it was all because of me, you see,’ Jenna said. ‘You going away. I thought you’d left home because you didn’t want to be at my beck and call, and I felt awful. I didn’t know you were going away to get healthy.’
‘Well,’ Alison said slowly, ‘itwaspartly because of you. Not that I wanted to get away from you,’ she added hastily. ‘It was just… it was all getting too much for me. Looking after the twins all the time and working at the petrol station and worrying about Mam and Dad. My blood pressure was creeping up and up and I was comfort eating way too much. I had to do something. I had to reset my life. I’m sorry if I made things difficult for you. I know it can’t have been easy, finding someone to take care of the twins.’
‘No,’ she admitted. ‘It wasn’t.’
‘So, who did you find in the end?’ Alison asked tentatively.
‘Me,’ Jenna said. ‘I started juggling things around to make sure I could pick them up and take them to school as much as possible. And I started doing my marking and lesson planning when they were in bed, or at gymnastics, or dance class. I’ve never seen so much of them since my maternity leave ended.’
Alison stared at her. ‘I don’t know what to say. How are you finding it?’
Jenna smiled. ‘You know what? At first it was awful. I was in tears nearly all the time, and I was so bloody angry at you for dropping me in it. But the truth is, you did me a favour. Ilikespending time with my girls. I’ve realised I hardly knew them at all, but now… now we talk. We go out. We have fun. They’re so good to be around. They really make me laugh.’
She stared out of the window. ‘I think I’ve realised that there are more important things than being promoted to head. Truth is, I don’t care about that any more. I don’t think I’ve really cared about it for years. I was just stuck in this hamster wheel, going round and round because I didn’t know what else to do. You helped me step off it. Youforcedme to step off it. I was furious! But now, I’m so grateful.’ She turned back to Alison, smiling. ‘Thank you, Mum.’
‘Well,’ Alison said, ‘I never thought I’d ever hear you saythat!’
‘No, me neither.’ Jenna laughed. ‘And now,’ she said, folding her arms and eyeing Alison knowingly, ‘I want to hear all about this Mac person that Rosie told me about.’
Alison scowled. ‘She never did!’
‘Oh, we had quite the chat,’ Jenna confirmed. ‘I’d forgotten how much fun Rosie can be, you know. It was so lovely to talk to her properly after all this time. And she couldn’t wait to fill me in on my mother’s holiday romance. So go on, tell me all about him.’
‘There’s nothing to tell,’ Alison said, her voice suddenly croaky. ‘It was nice for a while, but it’s over now.’
‘Yes, I know. And I know why, too.’
‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ Alison said weakly. ‘She never told youeverything?’
‘Well,’ Jenna said, ‘if she didn’t, I dread to think what she left out. The mind boggles.’
‘That bloody woman!’
Jenna took her hand. ‘She’s really worried about you, you know. She says you’re making a terrible mistake. She thinks Mac’s perfect for you and you’re walking away from something that could be so good for you.’
‘Did she tell you why I walked away?’ Alison asked, her eyes pricking with tears.
‘Yes, she did. The gambling. I get it, Mum, I really do. But it seems to me, from what Rosie’s told me, that he’s not that person any more. He sounds lovely. A real gentleman. And he clearly thinks the world of you. Whatever he was before, does it matter? He’s shown you who he is now. You clearly like him as he is or you wouldn’t be looking and sounding so upset right now.’
Alison nibbled her thumb nail, staring out across the car park. She could see her own little car waiting for her.
‘He’s not your dad, Jenna,’ she said quietly. ‘He’s nothing like him really.’
‘How could he be? Dad was a one-off,’ Jenna said. ‘But you wouldn’t want to replace him, would you?’
‘No. No, I wouldn’t. Not ever.’ Alison turned to face her daughter. ‘You do know how much I loved your dad, don’t you?’
Jenna’s eyes widened. ‘Of course I do!’
‘Do you really think I drove him to his grave? I need to know what you really believe. Please tell me the truth.’
The shock in Jenna’s eyes told her everything she needed to know.
‘You didn’t say that, did you?’ she said gently.
‘Who the hell told you I did?’ Jenna gasped. She stared at her mother for a moment, then her face fell. ‘Joel?’ she asked weakly. ‘He didn’t. Please tell me he didn’t.’
‘Yes, he did. The same night he told me I was banned from seeing the twins.’
