I noticed movement in my peripheral vision and saw that several cadets at a nearby table were trying very hard to look like they weren't listening to our conversation.
I cursed under my breath. Despite lowering our voices, we might have said too much.
"We should continue this elsewhere," I murmured.
Kailin followed my gaze and nodded. "You are right." She hunched her shoulders. "Before, I could blend in, be part of the group. Now, I'm different. They smile at me but avoid my eyes and walk away quickly."
"Welcome to my world," I muttered before I could stop myself.
Everyone turned to look at me, and I realized what I'd said. The words had slipped out, a fragment of my real life bleeding through the careful facade I'd constructed.
"What do you mean?" Shovia asked, her eyes sharp with curiosity.
I scrambled for an explanation that wasn't a lie. "Codric and I are the only Elurians here. We've gotten used to a lot of nasty looks since we've gotten to Elucia. We are under constant scrutiny, and people are making assumptions about us based on things that they think they know about Elurians. It's not a pleasant feeling."
It was true, as far as it went. What I didn't say was that I'd been living with it far longer, that being watched and judged was the price of being born royal. That every word, every gesture, every choice had been scrutinized since I was old enough to understand my position in society.
Codric nodded. "During the first few days, people either avoided us entirely or watched us like we might steal the silver."
"There is no silver in the mess hall," Morek said, either completely missing the point or trying to make a joke.
Codric ignored his comment. "The point is that being singled out is not easy, but you learn to live with it."
"Or you find people who see past it," I said, looking at each of my friends in turn. "People who see you for who you are, not what you represent."
"That's beautiful," Shovia said with exaggerated sentiment. "Should we all hold hands and sing now?"
"Only if you go first," Kailin teased.
The tension eased marginally, but I could still feel the eyes watching me from the other tables. This was like my life at court all over again, with every move watched, every word potentially reported back to someone.
At least in Vedona, I'd known who was watching and why. I understood the game, the players, and the stakes. Here, I had a much harder time discerning friend from foe.
"If you are all done eating, let's get out of here," Morek said. "All this attention is making my skin crawl."
17
KAILIN
My abilities don't come without a cost
Each time I use them, I feel pieces of myself scatter like seeds on the wind, but I'm no longer afraid of them. I just need to learn to manage them so they won't consume me.
For so long, I've been fighting against the idea of being special, of being chosen, but the small village girl I thought I was is gone, if she ever really existed. Maybe she was always just a story I told myself, a smaller, safer version of who I could be. The woman I'm becoming, the one who speaks to dragons and dreams the future through the minds of night creatures, doesn't fit in that small, safe story anymore.
—From the journal of Kailin Strom
We were just finishing the last of our dinner when Jarren Voss, our hall monitor, walked into the mess hall and headed right for our table. In his hand, he held several cream-colored envelopes bearing the Dragon Force seal.
"Cadets Strom, Tekum, Teress, and Farker." He handed each of us an envelope. His expression gave nothing away, but I noticed his eyes lingered on me a moment longer than the others. "New room assignments."
I stifled the need to release a relieved breath.
Official envelopes rarely contained good news, and I had feared that they had discovered something about our investigation, perhaps a disciplinary action for asking questions about the dragons.
I broke the seal and unfolded the single sheet inside.
Cadet quarters reassignment. Effective immediately. Due to security issues, Cadet Tekum is to trade places with Cadet Farker and reside with Cadet Strom. Objections to these arrangements should be submitted in writing to Captain Odinah, and an alternative placement would be considered.
