Grief for the mortality of those she loved, perhaps, or worry about promises that might prove impossible to keep.
"You'll dance at Kailin's wedding." I met Jaida's eyes. "I promise."
The words hung in the air like a vow, but I had no idea how I'd keep that promise.
Jayron let out a sigh. "We are not prudes, and Kailin is an adult. You're welcome in our home, Alar. But?—"
"If you're going to threaten him, Dad, I'm leaving the table," Kailin warned.
Jayron chuckled. "I was just going to say that I expect him to help with the dishes. House rules—everyone contributes."
"I'd be honored," I quickly said.
"See?" Jaida said approvingly. "The boy has manners. That's a good start." She pushed herself up from the table with surprising vigor for someone who'd just claimed her bones were old. "Now, who wants tea? We have celebrating to do. It's not every day we learn that our granddaughter is a hero and has found herself a handsome young man to build a life with."
As Milly and Jaida bustled about preparing tea, Dylon and Jayron began clearing plates, and Kailin rose to help them.
I caught her hand. "Thank you," I murmured, low enough that only she could hear me.
"For what?"
"For having my back."
She knew what I meant, but she didn't seem deterred by all the obstacles I could see in our way. "As Gran likes to say, nothing worth having is easy." Her warm blue eyes met mine. "You're the only one for me, Alar. We will make it work."
"Stop making moon eyes at each other and help," Dylon called from the sink. "Put the leftovers away."
"Moon eyes?" Kailin tugged on my hand. "I don't make moon eyes."
"Yes, you do," Dylon said. "And it's disgusting. Adorable, but disgusting."
With everyone helping, the cleanup took minutes, and as we sat back at the table to drink our teas, Milly turned to me. "Do you have any siblings, Alar?"
The question caught me off guard. "Four older brothers."
"Four!" She looked delighted. "How wonderful. I hear that many Elurians choose not to have children at all, and those who do have only one or two."
"That's true and unfortunate," I admitted. "I'm lucky that my mother wanted a daughter and kept trying for one. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been born."
She smiled. "Are you close to your brothers?"
"We were closer when I was younger. I was the baby, so they tolerated me following them around, but our lives have taken us in different directions."
That was understating it considerably. Arlen was being groomed to rule. The twins lived for court intrigue and social climbing. Avren had found his place in the military. And I was the spare who'd gone chasing dragons, literally and figuratively.
"That happens with siblings," Jayron said sympathetically. "But family is family. I'm sure they miss you. Dragon riders serve for life, so if you make it to the bonding ceremony and get chosen, you are never going home."
I swallowed hard. "I'm well aware of that, and I have made peace with it even before applying for the pilgrimage. I just hope my commanders will have mercy on me and give me longer leaves of absence so I can travel back to Eluria to visit my family."
Dylon shook his head. "I doubt that. That will be too much of a security risk."
My hackles rose. "What do you mean? How can I be a risk after the bonding? I will become an open book to my dragon."
Dylon put his teacup down on the table. "First of all, we all learn to block so our dragons don't have free access to every thought we have, and they do the same. But I didn't imply that you were a security risk because you were not trustworthy. Traveling to Eluria after becoming a rider is like painting a big red target on your back and inviting every Shedun and theirsympathizers to grab you in order to extract information from you."
I hadn't considered that, and my mood plummeted. It seemed that Codric and I would have to resign ourselves to never seeing our families unless I came out and announced who I was and why I was training to become a rider.
Chicha must have sensed the sudden ache in my heart and hopped into my lap, pushing her tiny head against my hand. As I started stroking her soft fur, the pain eased a little.
