"You're staring," she said without looking up from her book.
"I'm admiring the view."
That earned me a cute smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "The view of me drowning in incomprehensible military theory?"
"You are gorgeous no matter what you are reading." I put my own book down and stretched, my back protesting from too many hours hunched over my desk. "How's the essay coming?"
"It's not." She closed her journal. "I keep writing and rewriting the same paragraph over and over, but it still sounds like something a fifth grader wrote."
I was sure she was exaggerating. "It's the perfectionist in you talking. Let me read it."
"No way." She gathered her notebook to her chest. "Not before I'm satisfied that it's passable."
I stood and crossed to the bed, gathering some of her scattered papers to make room. "Then take a break. You've been at it for hours."
"So have you."
"Yes, but I'm not recovering from a traumatic prophetic dream that had literally sucked the life out of me." I sat beside her, close enough that our thighs touched. "You need rest more than you need to finish that essay tonight."
She leaned into me, and I wrapped an arm around her. "I have to at least excel at academics. I know they will go easy on me with the physical stuff, and I also know that I will probably perform worse than some of the cadets who will be dismissed. I've been treated with kid gloves since Podana."
I understood, and if I were in her shoes, I would do the same. "You have a brilliant mind, and I'm sure your academic test scores will be top of the class. No one will think that you were allowed to graduate to the next step only because you saved Podana. Although, to be fair, I think that should have been enough to qualify you. You communicated with hundreds of dragons and saved thousands of lives. Who else can claim the same?"
"No one," she admitted grudgingly. "But it was a one-off. I'm useless without the hallucinogenic tea, so I can't warn anyone in case of another attack." She put a hand over her stomach. "There is a big stone sitting in my gut, and it's made of anxious energy and fear. I want to go back to dreaming, but I'm not allowed."
"Is it because of the nightmare about the Citadel attack?"
She nodded. "I keep thinking that it was a warning meant to signal that I should get back to work so I can defend the Citadel."
I turned her face toward mine, making her meet my eyes. "Listen to me. You are not responsible for single-handedly defending Elucia. You have an extraordinary gift, yes, but you're not obligated to destroy yourself using it. The Dragon Force has other methods of gathering intelligence. Scouts, reconnaissance flights, informants. You're just one tool in a much larger arsenal."
"A very useful tool that's currently not operational."
"Because it's resting." I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "You need more time."
She studied my face, and I wondered what she saw there. Did she notice how much effort it took for me not to bundle her up and take her somewhere safe, away from all the dangers that seemed to multiply by the day?
Two assassination attempts, three if counting the bomb in Skywatcher's town square before the pilgrimage, the possible Elusitor converts hiding among the cadets, and most of all, her own abilities that were consuming her from the inside out.
"You worry too much about me." She smiled and cupped my cheek. "I'm stronger than I look."
"I know. You are also too brave for your own good, and you need someone to keep you from killing yourself. That's my job." I leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Now, let's get you ready for bed. You need sleep, and I need not to fail Odinah's class."
Kailin didn't argue, which told me that she was more tired than she was willing to admit. While she gathered her things for the washroom, I cleared the bed of books and papers, stacking them on her desk in neat piles. The only window in our room was located right above it, and during the day we could see dragons soaring through the sky, their riders running drills or heading out on patrol. At night, it was quieter, with just the occasional silhouette against the auroras.
The night patrol.
Kailin returned from the washroom in her nightclothes and her hair braided for sleep. She looked younger like this, more like the girl I'd met during the pilgrimage than the Hero of Elucia she had become. So much had happened since that first time we'd met at the Pilgrim's Lodge in Skywatcher's Point.
It seemed like a different lifetime.
"I drank the full dose this time." She held up the empty cup and grimaced. "Thoran's orders."
Good. At least she wouldn't have any more disturbing dreams tonight, prophetic or not.
I checked that the door was locked as I did every night, with the additional bolt Ravel had us install after the explosion. The window was secure, the latch firmly closed. And our weapons were in their usual places. Our handguns were in our desk drawers, and our knives were within easy reach, tucked between the mattresses and the wall over our heads.
I climbed under the covers beside Kailin, and she immediately curled into me. I pulled her close, one arm beneath her neck, the other wrapped around her waist.
