“Don’t do that,” she said.
“Don’t do what?”
“Make it seem like I was special. I was just gullible and bought every lie you told,” she said.
THIS WASN’T GOING AT allthe way that Remy had hoped it would. He saw that Staci was trying to mask her pain over his betrayal. It should have made him be more conciliatory, instead, it frustrated him.
He’d fallen in love with her. He’d invited her to come and live with him and she acted as if it were all for nothing. That he’d done it just to make a fool of her.
“If I could go back and do things differently, I would. But I never planned on what happened between us. And you’ve got to believe me, I never lied to you about my feelings. In fact I was more honest with you than I have ever been with a woman. Since I couldn’t share my real last name with you I wanted to share everything else.”
He didn’t think she’d ever understand how badly he now felt about the entire situation. Their flirtation had started out so intensely. “I never meant to make love with you that first night, but there has been this overwhelming attraction between us, and I’m not sorry I didn’t ignore it.”
“Why not?”
“Because then I would have missed out on you and me.And I wouldn’t have wanted that. Deep inside I hope you can forgive me.”
“I don’t know,” she said.
Staci had left behind a promising career once and reinvented herself because of a doomed love affair. More than likely she’d do it again.
But he could only say he was sorry so many times and then the rest was up to her. Could she forgive and forget? Could. Staci get beyond the things he’d said and done to see the man he was underneath.
“I know that saying trust me isn’t going to win you back, but if we can move past this?—”
“I can’t. I might be able to at some point but today I just can’t do it. I’m sorry, Remy. I wish we’d come into each other’s lives at another time. Though to be honest I can’t imagine it ever happening.”
She stood and he knew she was leaving. There would be no getting her back now and no chance of working things out any further. This was it.
And so it seemed that his vacation affairs had been the smart way to go. He had thought that this romance when he was rediscovering his love of cooking and who he was, and finding this woman were meant to be.
“Before you leave, will you answer one last question for me?” he asked her.
She was standing in front of the door with her back toward him but she turned to face him. “Sure.”
He looked right into her eyes and took a few steps closer.
“I know that you will never believe this, but I was taking you to my cousin’s cooking school in Manhattan to show you the truth about me. I wanted you to see it and I wanted to do it in my own way.”
She stepped back and reached for the door handle.
“Remy, by your very silence you took the easy way out. I’lladmit I’ve made some bad decisions in my life but this one has cost me the most.”
“I care about you, Staci,” he said. “We can figure this out, make it work.”
“Maybe it was because we were trapped together in the house and there was that spark between us,” she said. “Because both of us should have remembered that lust isn’t love. And we’re both adult enough to know that affairs like this do end.”
“It wasn’t being trapped with you in the house. I know my feelings a lot better than that. Please believe me that I didn’t set out to hurt you. The only thing I’ve wanted for you was a chance at happiness.”
“I’ll remember that,” she said and then opened the door and walked away.
STACI KNOCKED EVERYONE’Ssocks off andwon the next two weeks of challenges. She kept thinking about what Remy had said to her. It was impossible not to think about it or about him. After all she was living in the same house with him. They’d returned to Malibu but everything was different now. Especially as they entered this last week of competition and everyone had been eliminated except for her, Christian and Remy.
A part of her was glad Remy was still here because she wanted him to see that he hadn’t broken her spirit. But another, secret part of her was just glad he was still around because even though it made her ache a little inside she knew she’d miss him if she couldn’t see him every day.
It was Sunday and starting tomorrow they’d have an intensive cook-off where they’d be judged and earn points every day. At the end of the week the two chefs with the most points would go up against each other in a three-course meal.
Staci stiffened her spine and met the others in the living room. She took a seat at the opposite side of the room from Remy.
