There was something in her tone that bothered him. It was as if she were questioning his honesty and okay, he knew he wasn’t being up front with her. He knew that everything he felt and worried over stemmed entirely from the fact that if he were being honest he’d tell her all about Gastrophile and ask her to move home with him.
Frankly, he was tired of running.
“Sorry, it’s just that you might sell your interest in Sweet Dreams and then we’d both be without a job. Where would that leave us?”
She stepped away from him and he knew without being told that he’d said the wrong thing. “I guess that pretty much sums it up. Why didn’t you just say when the show is over, so are we?”
“Because I don’t want that to be the case,” he said, feeling trapped and knowing he had no one but himself to blame. If he’d been a different sort of man he wouldn’t need external praise to know he was good at what he did. But he wasn’t. And this show had been the only way to know if he was the same quality of chef as his father, uncles and grandfather.
He wanted to be worthy of their name, he needed to know his place in the culinary dynasty had been earned and not given, but today seeing the hurt and disappointment in Staci’s eyes, he acknowledged, he’d give it all up if he could find a way to smooth over everything with her without having to reveal what he’d done.
But he was a realist and knew that would never happen. So he had to make a decision of what to tell her and he knew thatthe more of his soul he laid bare now the easier it might be for her to forgive him later.
“I do want you to come to New Orleans with me,” he said. “But I was afraid to say that.”
STACI GUESSEDSHESHOULD be careful when she pushed Remy. He always did something that was unexpected and inviting her to come to New Orleans was no exception. Even though he hadn’t really invited her to come with him. He’d just said it was what he wanted.
“Why didn’t you just ask me then?” She didn’t see why it would be hard for him. He had nothing to lose. Or was he not sure that she’d accept him. He didn’t have a kitchen to return to. “Listen, if you’re worried about not having a gig, it’s not a big deal. Once this show airs everyone in the country is going to be beating down your door. You’ll be able to choose your assignment.”
He reached over and rubbed his thumb over her lower lip before kissing her so sweetly that she felt wrapped in some emotion she was afraid to name.
“Thank you. Your offer means everything to me. But I don’t think it’s fair to ask you to give up your family and friends to move across the country with a man you aren’t committed to.”
“I understand. Just so you know if you asked me to move to New Orleans and give our relationship a real try, I’d say yes.”
She felt braver than she had been in the last five years. Since she’d talked Alysse into starting Sweet Dreams with her. It had been so long since she’d risked anything, which was why she’d signed up for the show and it was Remy that was the challenge that made her feel alive. Remy and the way heinspired her to cook better. She had never felt this completely into another person before.
She was dancing around naming the emotion because once she said it, she’d be just like her mother and grandmother. She’d have fallen in love with a man and Staci wasn’t entirely sure she knew him and could trust him.
“Then I’m asking,” he said. “At the end of the competition, will you move to New Orleans with me?”
She took a deep breath and held it. All the rash decisions she’d made in her life flashed before her eyes and she knew that this one was the smartest one of all.
“Yes,” she said. “But I reserve the right to change my mind.”
“No,” he challenged her, shaking his head. “No matter what happens, you and I have made a deal to give each other a try. I asked and it was hard to do. You’re either in this with me or not at all.”
“I’m in it,” he said.
He smiled and kissed her again. “This calls for a celebration!”
“It does?” she asked, but then realized what she’d said. “I mean, it sure does. What should we do? We’re already pretty close to the top of the world.”
“I know a place I think you will like,” he said. “Do you trust me?”
“I wouldn’t be moving to New Orleans if I didn’t,” she said. Hearing the words out loud warmed her. She wondered how different leaving home would be this time. When she’d moved to Paris she’d been scared but so sure of herself. This time she wasn’t scared or as sure of herself. She’d wager her grandmother would say that was age giving her some wisdom.
“That’s right. Okay,” he said, taking her hand in his. “Follow me.”
She followed him through the gift shop where he stoppedat the jewelry counter and bought her a bracelet with an Empire State Building charm on it. “This is so you’ll always remember this visit.”
“I don’t think I’ll be forgetting it any time soon.”
“I hope not,” he said.
They took the elevator to the lobby and Staci was full of such a feeling of love. There she said it, she thought.
“Remy?” a man called to them.
