She knew better than to get cocky. “Do you think you might lose?”
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, tousling it and making the curls spike up before he smoothed them back into place. “I’m not sure, but I just don’t like not knowing.”
“I agree it’s unnerving, which is probably why they did it. It’s probably some chef who’s friends with Hamilton,” she said. “It’ll probably be someone with a show on this network. You know how incestuous these things can be”
“Why are you so calm about it?”
She smiled at him. “Because you’re not. Anything that rattles our current champ has to be good. Sort of levels the playing field for me.”
“Brat,” he said.
“Whatever. There is one thing I’m not looking forward to,” she said, as her gazed strayed to Remy. It was hard toconcentrate on anything other than him. He sat on the bed that had been Vivian’s and though they were talking as friends, she could still sense their underlying physical chemistry.
“What is it? That we’ll get stopped at airport security for trying to carry through our knives?” he asked, smiling.
“No, but that would be funny. You should totally go and tell Jack to consider it. We could cross promo with the cop show.” She could just imagine Jack weighing the idea as if it were a serious option. She’d learned the producer spent most of his time analyzing ratings and trying to figure out how to get a bigger share of the audience. Hence him letting them leave the house for the day.
Remy laughed. “You’re learning that this is all about ratings.”
“Aren’t you? It’s all that they seem motivated by. The judges are here for the food and the cooking but the producers obviously want good TV.”
“Yes, they do,” Remy said, getting up and coming over to sit down next to her. “You were about to tell me what you weren’t looking forward to.”
That’s right, she was. “Um...I kind of like having the upper hand on you. “
“I won’t tell anyone whatever it is that’s bothering you,” he said.
“I don’t like flying. Normally I’d take a travel sickness pill that would knock me out, but since Jack said we’d be doing a quick cook when we land...”
Remy reached for her hand and held it in his. “I’ll be there next to you.”
The words shouldn’t have been as soothing as they were but she knew that if Remy were beside her she could succeed at anything.
REMY HELD STACI’SHAND as they sat next to each other on the bed and knew that it was time for him to tell her the truth about who he really was. He knew there was a pretty good chance that the guest judge in New York could end up being his uncle or one of his other assorted relatives.
He also had the feeling that he should go and talk to Jack about it, too. He didn’t want his uncle to be waiting at the Quick Cook, see him and reveal who Remy actually was. He knew that good TV aside, that type of thing would really hurt Staci and probably his chances of winning the show.
But she curled next to him tucking her head on his shoulder and the very last thing he wanted to do was to disturb her. Yeah, right, he thought. Since when did he start lying to himself? Maybe this new persona was having a bad influence over him.
“Everyone was nice about us being a...”
“A couple?” he asked.
She nodded, but didn’t say anything else. God, this woman with all her skepticism and trust issues needed a man who was honest with her. She couldn’t even say they were in a relationship because it possibly wouldn’t last and he was...well, he was just holding her and staying silent because he knew that if he mentioned his last name wasn’t Stephens he’d lose her.
It was that simple. He could pretend that he’d told her enough truths about himself to make up for the one lie and that lie had been told before he’d ever even met her, but he knew that he was making excuses for himself. And they were excuses she wouldn’t buy.
He shifted around on the bed so that he was leaning against the headboard with two pillows stacked behind his back and drew Staci into his arms. He couldn’t help but noticethat she actually let him and that she cuddled next to him so trustingly.
“Thanks for today.”
“You already thanked me,” he said. This day was going to be one he cherished for the rest of his life. In his mind this was the day he first made love to Staci. It had been more than sex and had changed him in many different ways. Prior to today he would have been able to keep up the illusion that he was just an out-of-work cook, but now he wanted her to know everything about him. Truly, he needed her to.
Because as he held her in his arms he acknowledged that he wanted her to be by his side for the rest of his life. Inside a part of him that had never been alive before awakened and he realized that he loved her.
Sleeping in here tonight, holding her in his arms, might be something he needed but another part of him knew that if he did that he’d lose all hope of protecting a part of himself that he’d never known was vulnerable before.
Until he came clean with Staci and told her all about Gastrophile. Until she knew everything about him and he about her he couldn’t let her know how he felt. He wasn’t completely sure if she’d return his emotions. As wary as she was of the opposite sex, a big part of him believed she’d never be able to forgive him.
