“Why?” he asked, afraid he knew the answer. Still, he wanted to hear it from her own lips. He wanted to have a chance to defend himself. To show her he was different from the other men in her life. But then he was afraid that no matter how different he was his outcome in her life might be the same. He was determined it wouldn’t be.
“You said it earlier. ThePremier Chefhouse is an illusion. Win or lose we are both going back to our real lives. And I live here. My friends and family are here and I’m not sure I’d ever really trust you enough to give that up.”
“What if I were the one who gave up New Orleans?” he asked.
“Would you?” she asked. Then she shook her head. “I don’t know. That’s a lot to put on a relationship. If you moved out here and things didn’t work out...I think it’s more likely that this is a sweet affair that will end when the competition does.”
He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. He knew he should say something to lighten the mood. He didn’t want the day to end on a sour note, but he couldn’t accept her version of things. He knew she was right, he thought, that was why it made him so angry that she had put it so plainly. Because she didn’t know who he was and that leaving New Orleans was impossible for him.
“I never pegged you for a quitter. I’ve seen you bring dishes back from the edge that should have been thrown away,” he said. “Why would you live your life with less passion?”
She put her napkin on the table after folding it carefully. “Food hasn’t ripped my heart out.”
“I haven’t either,” he said.
“Not yet,” she said, getting to her feet.
He almost let her go but he couldn’t. And that was the part that bothered him. He wasn’t willing to say this was just an affair, a part of him wanted more with this complex and sexy woman.
He stood up quickly, knocking his chair over in the process. She stopped and turned back to him.
“Remy—”
“Don’t say it. I’m not going to hurt you. I’ve promised you I wouldn’t. True, there are things about me you don’t know. But everything I have shown you...it’s more than I’ve given any other woman. I’m not playing a game with you, Staci.”
He picked the chair up and stood to see if she’d left but instead she’d come back to his side. “You frighten me. I can’t be as open to this as you are. I know that’s not fair but that’s what life has taught me.”
He tugged her into his arms because he was very much afraid no matter how well he prepared her now, when the truth was revealed about him it would hurt her greatly. If he was a stronger man—a better man—he knew he would have let her walk away.
And since he only had these six weeks in Malibu he was determined to make them the best six weeks of her life.
Chapter Eleven
WHENTHEYARRIVEDAT the house, there was no time for a long goodbye, which was fine, Staci thought. Jack was waiting in the living room with two of the other finalists, Christian and Will.
“What’s up?” Remy asked as they settled into chairs.
“A special announcement,” Jack replied. “We’re waiting for the last few contestants to show up. By the way, did you enjoy your day off?” Jack asked them.
Staci would have liked to have gotten changed and been in her normal jeans and T-shirt in front of the other competitors. She didn’t want them to see her dressed up and it was making her uncomfortable.
“It was very nice and relaxing,” she said, hoping she was playing it cool. “Can I go change?” she asked the producer.
“No, I’m sorry you can’t,” Jack said.
“Just be glad you weren’t skate boarding all day and smell like sweat,” Christian remarked.
Everyone laughed at the way he’d spoken. Staci noticed Remy’s hands resting on his knees. She so wanted to reach out to him to remind her of his touch.
Eventually, the rest of the group arrived and when they were all seated in the living room Jack stood up. “Now that we’ve reached the halfway point in the contest we will be upping the stakes. Cars will be here for you at six tomorrow morning. You will all need to pack your bags and bring along your formal wear—men that’s suits and ties for you, ladies that’s dresses. We are taking you to New York City. I suggest you get a good night’s sleep because you will hit the ground running with a Quick Cook as soon as you land.”
“How long will we be in New York?” Remy asked.
“One week. We’ll fly back here for Judges Table and Elimination on Friday night,” Jack said. “So you don’t have to pack everything.”
“Will there be any guest judges?” Christian asked.
“Yes. But I can’t give you any names. I will say this, there is more than one guest judge and they are both world famous. Any other questions?”
