Preacher unstrapped her from Dante with the ease of a man who had done it ten thousand times and held her against his chest, and she was very small and very pink and her face was doing the thing that babies' faces did when they were deciding whether to commit to crying, and without fully meaning to I was right there.
“Who is this precious little angel?” I said, keeping my voice soft as to not disturb her.
Preacher raised an eyebrow an eyebrow as I grabbed the bottle from him and went about mixing it up. The old habit from when I was in foster care came back with ease.
It had been so long since I’d held a baby. So long since I’d felt that protective urge rise up in me.
Dante, who’d been greeting Ricardo, turned to Rel with a smirk. “I thought he was your scary murder-for-hire guy?”
“He is. Apparently, he’s also into babies.”
There was some smack talk about Rel and Ricardo finding each other. It was mushy shit I had no desire to hear. They were happy. They were alive. Woohoo.
What I did care about was the cutie begging for me to hold her. Ok, so maybe she wasn’t begging. But I felt the urge deep in my soul.
Preacher chuckled as he moved away from me towards the others. “Let’s go sit. She’s a slow eater, and I’d rather get into a comfortable position.”
“You could have handed her to me. I don’t mind helping.” I shuffled behind the big guy and leaned around him. The way he’d turned cut off my view of the baby.
Henny, who finally managed to get ahold of his shock, pulled me to his side. The touch drew my attention like he intended.
“Stop hovering,” he bit out.
I did as he demanded. Not just because he was my Daddy, but because he was taking a step towards us being open and honest with everyone. We didn’t hide who we were. We also didn’t show any affection when at work together.
It was a balancing act—as Henny once said.
Taking a chance, I linked my fingers with his. If I thought he’d react ok, I’d have climbed him and planted a big, fat kiss on his lips.
Henny frowned, but I knew it wasn’t at me. He was still trying to sort out how these two suddenly had a kid without him knowing. My man hated being out of the loop.
The thought of it made me grin. I would have something to tease him about later. He was always cataloging shit on me. Finally, I’d have some ammo.
We all endedup in the living room.
Her name was Melody. They'd said it together, all happy and shit. Melody fussed at the sound of her own name. Kind of like a “Hell yeah, that’s me” sound.
I watched her eat as the men spoke about life, family, and business. None of it interested me. I knew Henny was taking it all in eagerly. He’d probably explain it to me later if I asked.
Not that I would.
Preacher had her tucked in the crook of his arm with the bottle angled correctly and his attention split between her and the conversation happening around him, and Dante kept glancing over every few seconds with this expression of a man who could not believe his luck and had not yet gotten used to it.
It felt like a bomb went off in my chest.
This was what I wanted. Not the baby, necessarily. Just the happy life. Mine would probably hold a bit more murder than these two, because I really fucking loved my job, but I could see a future where maybe Henny and I got domestic.
I became aware of how close we were sitting on the couch around that time. Our knees were touching; our bodies aligned in the way we only ever did in private.
As I watched Melody, Preacher took her bottle away and put her on his shoulder. He did the burp back pat combo like a good dad. Points to him.
The position he had her in meant her face was angled my way. Even though I knew she couldn’t really see me, I held her bouncing gaze.
Hi, I sent the thought her way, which was insane, I was not a man who thought things at infants.You have no idea what kind of people you're going to grow up around. We're going to be the worst influence you've ever met. You're going to love it.
Henny's knee pressed against mine, pulling me away from my staring. He didn’t face me. Not that he needed to. I knewhe was here, knew he saw what I was doing, and probably even knew what I was thinking.
Thinking back on the last year, I was amazed at how much had changed. The man I wanted most was mine. He and I had a dynamic we both loved. And I still got to do some stabbing every now and then.
