But even as my body went through the motions, my mind was on Tanner. Wondering if he'd found the nightlight yet. Hoping he liked it. Planning what I'd get him next.
"Yep, definitely got it bad," Corey muttered, but he was grinning.
By the time we finished getting everyone sorted, the sun was already starting its descent toward the horizon. Winter days were short and darkness came early.
I headed back to the house, stomping snow off my boots on the porch before going inside. Voices drifted from the living room—Tanner's laugh, bright and carefree, mixing with Sean's excited chatter.
I found them sprawled on the floor, coloring books spread out between them along with what looked like every colored pencil and marker in the house. Peanut the elephant sat propped against the couch, watching over them.
"Hey, Daddy!" Tanner looked up, his face lighting up exactly like Jackson had described. "Look what Sean and I made!"
He held up a coloring page—an intricate mandala done in shades of blue and purple, with silver gel pen details that made it shimmer.
"That's beautiful, bud." I came over to get a closer look. "You two have been busy."
"We had an art party," Sean announced. "With snacks and everything. Tanner shared his goldfish crackers."
"Very generous of him." I ruffled Tanner's hair, and he leaned into the touch. "You take any breaks?"
"Some," Tanner said, which probably meant no.
"Mm-hmm." I glanced at the clock. "Well, it's almost dinnertime anyway. Why don't you two clean up here, and I'll go see if Harlan needs help in the kitchen."
"Okay." Tanner started gathering markers, and I noticed how careful he was with his supplies. How he organized them by color, made sure each cap was on tight.
In the kitchen, Harlan was pulling a lasagna from the oven, and the smell made my stomach growl.
"Tanner find his gift?" he asked without preamble.
"Haven't asked yet. But he seems happy."
"He is. That boy's practically glowing these days." Harlan set the lasagna on the counter to cool. "You planning to tell him before Christmas?"
"Why would I do that?"
Harlan gave me a look. "He's driving himself crazy trying to figure it out."
"That's part of the tradition, isn't it? The mystery?" But guilt pricked at me. I'd seen how much the not-knowing bothered Tanner, how he kept trying to piece together clues.
"It is." Harlan pulled out plates. "Just don't wait too long. That boy's got feelings for you, and he's tying himself in knots worrying that his Secret Santa might expect something he can't give. Bobby Allen mentioned Tanner said something to him."
"What?" I straightened up. "Why would he think that?"
"Because the gifts are personal. Intimate. The kinds of things a caregiver gives a little." Harlan started cutting the lasagna. "He thinks his Secret Santa might want to be his Daddy, and he doesn't know how to handle that because he's already chosen you."
My heart clenched. Tanner had been worrying about this? Feeling guilty about accepting gifts because he thought someone else might have expectations?
"I need to tell him," I said.
"Not yet." Harlan held up a hand. "We're too close to Christmas now. Just a few more days. He can handle a few more days. And the relief when he finds out? That'll be worth it. Ignore earlier me. Do what present me is saying."
I wasn't entirely convinced, but the man had a point. Christmas was in three days. I could make it three more days.
After dinner—where Tanner ate two helpings of lasagna without being prompted, which made me absurdly proud—we all gathered in the living room. Someone put on a movie, but I barely paid attention.
I was too focused on Tanner curled up against my side, his head on my shoulder and his hand resting on my chest. Every so often, he'd trace idle patterns there, and I'd feel it all the way to my bones.
When the movie ended, people started drifting off to their rooms. Sean and Atticus disappeared upstairs. Jackson and Beau headed to their cabin. Griffin and Harlan weren't far behind.
