Two years. Two fucking years. And now, Logan was here, touching him, loving him, ruining him all over again.
“That was…” Adrian tried to speak, but his voice was lost, wrecked from moaning, from screaming Logan’s name like a man lost at sea, calling for the only shore he’s ever known. He sucked in a breath, his chest still heaving.
“I know,” Logan smirked proudly. He kissed Adrian again, and it wasn’t a kiss meant to tease, it was a claiming, a confession, a vow unspoken.
But it wasn’t enough.
“I want you inside me,” Adrian whispered.
And fuck, the way his voice shook, the way his cheeks flushed like he was vulnerable, like this was something delicate, sent a shiver straight down Logan’s spine. Adrian lifted his gaze, burning, dark with desire, with need.
“I want to feel you, Lo.” Adrian’s voice was nearly a whisper of a plea, his fingertips tracing along Logan’s naked and damp back, nails softly pressing to assert his presence, to remind Logan that this moment was real, that everything between them was undeniably happening.
Logan nearly shattered.
But he swallowed down the ache, forced himself to move, and gently guided Adrian back onto the soft pillows. He reached for the condom on the bed, fingers shaking slightly as he ripped it open, rolling it over his aching length with the kind of urgency that felt unbearable, because he needed this more than his own breath.
When they got that box together, Logan had murmured awkwardly that they would have to use it in the meantime, because even though he always used protection with Zack and Sandy, it was unsafe, especially with Adrian’s condition. And the shame he had felt then equaled the shame he felt as he finished putting the condom on his length. It was the kind of shame that curled in his stomach like smoke, curling up his spine, whispering ugly things in his ear—Zack’s hands, Zack’s mouth, the nights spent trying to drown out Adrian’s ghost.
“Lo,” Adrian whispered, breaking him back from his thoughts. “I love you. I don’t care about it. We all have a past.” He said it gently, just as hehad in the store. Adrian had made peace with Logan’s past, and though a shadow of pain flickered in his eyes at the thought of Logan with someone else, it lingered only briefly, as if swept away by the wind of acceptance. “Be here, with me, right now in that moment. Okay? I want you so much. I’ve been dreaming about having you again, ahuv sheli.”
Logan whimpered, his heart leaping in a moment of fragile despair. Something within him shattered at the echo of words he had once held close, memories of Adrian’s voice etched in his mind yet forever elusive in repetition. He had longed for those words, only to forget the depth of his love they carried, a bittersweet reminder of what once was.
“Say it again,” Logan begged.
“I’ve been dreaming about you, every night, every day, every millisecond that lingers between heartbeats. Ahuv sheli.” Adrian captured him in a tender kiss, pulling him close as if to shield him from the world. “Put the past where it belongs, okay? Let it rest, let it drift away. We are together, our love is all that matters.” He kissed Logan’s lips again, his hunger for Logan forever insatiable. “Stop punishing yourself for what’s behind us; it doesn’t concern me.” Adrian paused, his voice softening. “I know I have moments of jealousy, of doubt… but you are my anchor, you are mine, and I’ve released the past. Okay? Don’t carry that burden. We have a long journey ahead, and I need you to be strong. If you carry it, ahuv sheli, it would only make the road even harder.”
Logan nodded against him. “What does it mean? You never told me.”
Adrian let out a little laugh. “I was afraid to tell you that back then.”
“Spill it,” Logan ordered, giving him a harsh pack on the lips and grabbing his face a bit harder.
“You are bossy,” Adrian mumbled. “I like it.” He wiggled his brows.
Logan snorted and bit his nipple lightly before kissing it better.
“It means, ‘my loved one’ or ‘my beloved,’” Adrian whispered. In that fleeting moment, Logan captured his lips with fervor, savoring every taste, his tongue intertwining with Adrian’s, absorbing his soft whimpers like a fine wine. From the very beginning, almost from the first heartbeat, Adrian had loved him.
Logan had loved him too; he simply lacked the words to articulate that yearning back then.
Adrian widened his legs, pulling Logan back to him, guiding him close until their bodies aligned, until the heat of him was pressed against Logan’s stomach, their breaths mingling in the space between them.
They kissed like they were memorizing each other, like their mouths were the only things tethering them to the earth. Adrian held him, his fingers gripping Logan’s ass, pulling him in, needing more, while his other hand cupped Logan’s jaw, like he wanted to feel every word they couldn’t say.
Logan groaned into Adrian’s mouth when his cock throbbed, painful with need, and he broke the kiss with a sharp breath. He sat back, just enough to reach for the lube Adrian had already ripped open and handed to him, their fingers brushing.
Their eyes met, and Logan felt his entire body pulse with something overwhelming.
He slicked himself up, coating his cock with generous, shaking hands, then rubbed the excess onto his fingers, shifting back over Adrian, kissing him again, swallowing the gasp as he lifted Adrian’s legs and hooked them around his waist.
And then finally, he pressed two well-lubed fingers inside, sliding them into Adrian’s primed entrance without any resistance.
Adrian’s head dropped back against the pillows, his mouth falling open, a ragged moan tearing from his throat. Logan watched him, utterly transfixed, captivated by the fluid motion of Adrian’s body. He marveled at how Adrian shuddered and arched instinctively, gripping him desperately for stability. Every detail was etched into his memory: the soft parting of his lips, the trembling of his breath, and the flutter of his lashes against his rosy cheeks, creating an intensely vivid tableau in his mind.
Logan buried his face in the curve of Adrian’s neck, panting, pressing kisses against his pulse, his collarbone, his jaw, as he took his time, letting Adrian adjust, his fingers buried deep inside him, feeling the way Adrian’s body clenched around him, soft and tight and wanting.
Adrian’s hand found Logan’s bicep; he clung to him hard, his touch electric against sweat-damp skin. “I’m ready,” his voice was heavy, breathless, thick with need. He kissed Logan, his lips moving slowly and deeply, their tongues entwined as Adrian savored his own taste in Logan’s mouth. “I want you inside me.”
