As you’ll always be.
The pain wears your face.
And every time I see it, more memories come.
More images I never wanted.
You, standing beside her in a house that was supposed to be ours.
You, holding her hand as if it had never held mine.
You, living a life I had once dared to believe in.
I wanted you. I hoped for you.
God, I yearned for you.
And you’re there—
with her.
And I’m still here.
Losing my mind.
Losing my love.
Losing myself.
And about to end everything.
November 22, 2020—Tel-Aviv, Israel—TwoDays Later
Ithadonlybeenfour days since Logan had found Adrian again—four days since his world had shifted entirely. Everything was different now. Logan was different. For the first time in years, he felt purpose coursing through him. The moment Adrian had said yes—yes to Logan staying, yes to being found, yes to letting him in again, yes to fighting the illness—Logan knew they had no time to waste. They needed to act, to do everything in their power to save Adrian from the grip of the disease that threatened to take him away forever.
Early that morning, Logan had video called Ada Mae. Her calm presence had been a cornerstone of his chaotic life for so long now, and he knew he could trust her. When she answered, her voice was as crisp and professional as always.
“Ada Mae,” Logan began, his voice rough. “I need your help. It’s personal, not work-related. If it’s too much—”
“Logan,” Ada Mae gently interrupted, using his first name to signal her willingness to move beyond work boundaries. “I’m here for you. Just let me know what you need.”
Logan took a breath, steadying himself. He told her about Adrian—about their history, the love they had shared, and the years of silence between them. Her expression softened, a quiet understanding dawning in her eyes. “That makes sense,” she said, as if a missing piece had clicked into place. Logan realized she had seen his struggles all along, his restlessness, his shadows, and now, at last, she knew why.
He moved on quickly, outlining the daunting logistics: cancer treatments, visas, doctors, insurance. He was covering every possibleavenue in advance, refusing to let the ruthless march of time or the unyielding grip of bureaucracy defeat him.
Ada Mae didn’t miss a beat. “Got it. Give me an hour to clear my schedule. We’ll handle this.”
Relief washed over him. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I’ve got you.”
By the time they began sorting through the mountain of paperwork, Logan felt his determination solidify into something unbreakable. Ada Mae’s efficiency was flawless: she assembled documents, coordinated with embassies for visas, and lined up preliminary consultations with top cancer specialists, navigating the scheduling chaos with practiced calm.
Logan took the research on himself, scanning studies late into the night, trying to decipher clinical jargon and chasing down every faint lead and asking Adrian’s doctor so many questions that he was sure they thought him to be a madman. His jaw tightened each time a promising treatment turned out of reach, but his chest lifted with hope whenever he found even the faintest spark of possibility.
Through his family’s connections—the Vaughn name that carried weight in rooms Logan had never cared to enter—he managed to contact several doctors and facilities, questioning doctor after doctor until he managed to get to one of the most renowned oncologists in the world. The call was brief, but Logan clung to every word, hope burning brightly for the first time in years.
“There’s an experimental program,” the doctor said, voice steady but weighted with caution. “It’s a multi-center clinical trial, coordinated across several major sites in the United States, the UK, and Australia. The protocol was designed by one of my top protégés, Dr. Tierney, with myselfand a team of international specialists involved as principal investigators. It’s one of the largest prospective studies in its class, aiming to recruit enough patients to assess long-term survival outcomes properly. Early results are promising, especially for patients with a disease profile similar to Adrian’s. But the eligibility criteria are strict, and time is critical. I’ll email you a list of the screening tests Adrian will need, as soon as possible. Once we have those results, we can confirm if he qualifies.”
