Adrian’s breath caught, a sudden gasp caught in the dawn of the moment. In an instant, he recoiled, his hands flying back—one fromLogan’s back, the other from his face—as if scorched. As if Logan’s skin had turned to shimmering, almost transparent flame and his touch had branded something profound and unnamable upon him. He staggered upright, movement jagged and unsteady, rising like a man surfacing too fast from depths he dared not revisit. His legs trembled beneath him, barely holding his body, the air between them suddenly electric, unbearable. Adrian withdrew, not merely to create distance, but to escape the gravitational pull of Logan’s touch—a force rooted in memories he longed to forget, yet still pulsed with life, too fierce to touch without shattering. “You wouldn’t do it,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, his voice filled with a mix of fear and fury. “You wouldn’t!”
“Try me,” Logan replied, his tone calm, his silver-gray eyes burning with determination. That look—it was one Adrian knew too well. The one he had always calledLogan’s look, that reckless, stubborn resolve that bordered on madness. Logan wasn’t bluffing; Adrian could see it, clear as day.
“Lo!” Adrian exclaimed, his voice cracking as he jumped to his feet, putting more distance between them. “Are you fucking crazy?” He clutched his chest, his heart pounding as if it might burst. “You can’t do this! Youcan’t! You’re not serious.”
But Logan was already on his feet, closing the distance between them. “Now you’ll have to get those treatments for both of us,” he said firmly, his words landing like a challenge. His hands reached out, though Adrian immediately retracted.
Adrian’s voice rose to a scream, his anguish spilling over. “You haveno rightto do this to me!” he yelled, his voice trembling with raw pain. “You have no right to put me in this position!”
“I don’t care,” Logan shot back, his tone fierce, his expression hardened with purpose. “You need to get help. And I will do whatever it takes to make sure you do.”
“Youwouldn’t!” Adrian said again, but this time his voice was softer, laced with denial, desperation leaking through every syllable. His legs threatened to give out beneath him as his mind spun, trying to grasp the gravity of Logan’s resolve.
“Haven’t you heard me?” Logan said, stepping closer once more, his hands trembling as he reached for Adrian again. “I cannot live without you! I meant it, Adrian. You’re everything to me. You need to get better, for both of us.”
Adrian snatched his hand back, his body shaking with the intensity of his emotions. “Don’t youdaremake me responsible for your life, Logan!” he shouted, his voice cracking as tears streaked his face. “Don’t youdareput this on me. It’s not fair. It’s not—” His words choked off into a sob as he covered his face with his hands.
“It’s already on you,” Logan’s voice thinned to a whisper, but his resolve remained unshaken. “It’s been on you since the moment I fell in love with you, since the moment you pulled me from the waves and gave me your breath. And it’s not a burden, it’s a choice. My choice. I’m staying with you, no matter what, and if that means I have to fight you to save you, then so be it.”
Adrian’s hands trembled as he stood in the middle of the suite, his breath uneven, his chest heaving with the storm inside him. He had carried too much for too long, the weight of his past, the pain of his decisions, and now Logan’s words, pressing down on him, taking the form of an anchor dragging him to the depths.
He could barely look at Logan, yet he couldn’t look away. “Logan,” Adrian began, his voice shaking, barely audible over the pounding in his chest. He felt his emotions rushing to the surface, threatening to spill over. “You can’t do this to me. Youcan’ttake this decision from me.”
Logan’s brows furrowed, his silver-gray eyes filled with concern and something Adrian couldn’t articulate. “Ad, I—”
“No!” Adrian cut him off, his voice rising, laced with a mixture of anger and heartbreak. His hands went to his hair, tugging at the strands as if trying to pull himself together. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to come here, out of nowhere, and put this on me! Do you have any idea what you’re asking of me?”
Logan’s lips parted, but Adrian didn’t let him speak. His emotions surged forward, unstoppable. “You know me, Logan. You know what I’ve been through. You know about the soldier I lost. About howthathas haunted me every single day. Saving you that day in the ocean—thatwas what finally let me heal. But this?” Adrian’s voice broke into a yell, raw and unrestrained. “This would break me, Logan. I can’t be responsible for your death. Iwon’t!”
Logan recoiled as Adrian’s words hit him, but he didn’t back down. “Adrian, listen to me,” Logan said, his voice steady but pleading. “I’m not asking you to be responsible for me. I’m telling you that I’ve made my choice. I will not live in a world where you don’t exist.”
Adrian’s hands dropped from his hair, falling to his sides as he stared at Logan, disbelief written all over his face. His chest ached as though Logan’s words were knives, slicing through his resolve. He took a shaky breath, rubbed the back of his neck, and turned toward the door, his steps hurried and uneven.
“You always do this, Logan,” Adrian said, his voice quieter now but no less anguished. “You decide everything. You make your choice, and the rest of us just have to deal with it. Well, not this time. Not with this.”
“Adrian—” Logan’s voice was filled with desperation, but Adrian spun around, his eyes blazing.
“No!” he roared, every syllable vibrating with fury and pain. “You don’t get to make this choice for me. You don’t get to putthison me.” His voice broke, and his breathing came in uneven, gasping sobs. “You don’t understand what you’re doing to me, Logan. You don’t understand how much it hurts.”
Logan took a step forward, his arms outstretched as though to comfort him. “Ad, please,” he said, his voice trembling. “I love you. I just—”
“You love me?” Adrian interrupted. “Then respect me, Logan. Respect the fact that I can’t handle this. That I won’t.” He turned back to the door, gripping the knob so tightly his knuckles turned white. “You do whatever you want. But you’re not putting this on me.”
And with that, Adrian yanked the door open and stormed out, the sound of the door slamming behind him reverberating through the suite. Logan stood frozen for a moment, staring at the door, his heart pounding as Adrian’s words echoed in his mind. Slowly, as though weighed down by the gravity of everything that had just happened, he made his way to the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, his body sinking into the mattress as exhaustion overtook him.
His promise from just a day ago surfaced in his mind, the one where he swore to Adrian he would respect his wishes and give him the time and space he needed. Now, after everything that had just happened, they both needed time apart—to breathe, to think, tobe. Thus, even if his heartlonged to race to Adrian, to seize him in fervor and pull him back to the sanctuary they’ve found tonight, he would grant him a moment of solace.
Logan stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing even as his body felt utterly drained. He couldn’t even summon the energy to turn on the TV or distract himself with something mindless. All he could do was lie there, buried under the weight of his thoughts, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do with his life now.
Because he had meant every word he’d said to Adrian. If Adrian chose to die, so would Logan. He wasn’t bluffing, wasn’t exaggerating. Hecouldn’tlive in a world where Adrian didn’t exist, and he knew, deep down, that Adrian knew it too. Adrian, who carried the weight of the soldier he couldn’t save. Adrian, who had saved Logan that day in the ocean, and in doing so, had found a way to begin healing his own scars. Adrian wasn’t cruel—he didn’t have a single evil bone in his body. And Logan knew Adrian would never take responsibility for Logan’s life, just as he knew Adrian couldn’t bear the idea of Logan giving up on his own life.
Chapter 13
I’ll Guide You to Safe Shores, My Real Love
And if you truly perceive, if your eyes awaken,
To the vastness of the sky, its endless embrace,
