“Then I’ll skip my usual speech about not messing with straight dudes,” Dean said dryly, though his tone carried no judgment, only care. “Listen, he’s probably just trying to wrap his head around everything. You two spend, like, every waking moment together, yeah? Maybe he just needs some time to figure out his own thoughts. That doesn’t mean he’s pulling away for good.”
Adrian clenched his jaw, his fingers digging into the sand as he lowered himself to sit by the shoreline. “It feels like he’s slipping away, Dean. Like I pushed him too far, too fast.”
“Stop that,” Dean cut in firmly. “You didn’t push him into anything. If he wasn’t ready, he wouldn’t have done it. He’s just processing. And believe me, the way that guy looks at you? He feels it too. You’ve got to trust that.”
Adrian let out a hollow laugh, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I’m sitting here crying because he left for a few hours. I feel so dumb.”
“You’re not dumb, you’re just human,” Dean replied. “You’ve been pining for this guy formonths, Ad. Now it’s happening, and of course you’re emotional. That’s normal. And trust me, Logan’s got it bad for you. You should’ve seen the way he looked at Itay, it was pure death glare material. If looks could kill…”
Dean’s words resonated with Adrian in a way that only someone who had known him since they were six years old could manage. Dean had been there for every breakup, every high and low, every version of Adrian he’d grown into over the years. Adrian’s little brother, Alon, might have been his blood, but Dean had always been his brother in spirit, a constant presence, a grounding force.
Adrian laughed through his tears, a genuine sound this time. “It’s mutual. I’m crazy about him.”
“I know,” Dean said warmly. “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for how I treated him when I first met him. I thought you bailed on us for a fling, but I get it now. He’s important to you, and that’s what matters.”
Adrian nodded, though Dean couldn’t see him. “You’ll make it up to him?”
“Absolutely,” Dean promised. “But listen to me: give him space. Let him work through his thoughts. He’ll come back. And when he does, you’ll know it’s because he’s ready, not because he felt pressured. Be patient, it’s your strong suit after all.”
They stayed on the phone for a while longer, Dean’s voice soothing as he shared stories and jokes to distract Adrian from the gnawing ache of Logan’s absence. When they finally hung up, Adrian slipped his phone into his pocket and turned his gaze to the horizon, watching the waves swell and crash. The ocean carried his anxiety away with each tide, leaving behind something quieter, more resolute.
Logan might need space, and Adrian will wait. The waves always returned to the shore, and so would Logan.
Adrian couldn’t say how long he had been sitting at the water’s edge, the waves curling around his feet like whispers of comfort that never quite reached his heart. The horizon stretched endlessly before him, a hazy meeting of sky and sea, but it brought him no solace. He felt raw, vulnerable, and achingly foolish, his chest tight with the weight of his emotions. He suddenly understood why Logan had been so angry a month ago when Adrian had gone off with his friends without him. Being alone in a foreign place, after growing so accustomed to each other’s constant presence, was a kind of emptiness he hadn’t prepared for.
And if Adrian had even thought—even for a second—that right now, at this very moment, Logan was with an ex, he would have been wild with it. Wild with anger, wild with fear, wild with something even deeper, something primal, unrelenting, unbearable.
The thought alone was a knife, twisting sharp and cruel in his ribs, splitting him open in a way he could barely contain. It was the kind of ache that left a man restless, pacing, his hands clenched into fists, his mind spiraling into every dark possibility.
Because he understood now.
He got it.
He didn’t want to go back to the cabin. The thought of the silent, shared space made his chest ache. He felt too restless, too tangled in his own thoughts to be confined by four walls. So, he stayed where he was, staring into the distance and letting the waves lap at his toes, their rhythm soothing but not enough to quiet the storm inside him.
The weight of someone settling beside him broke through his haze, and Adrian turned, startled. Logan was there, smiling softly, though the expression quickly shifted into concern as he took in Adrian’s face. Without a word, Logan dropped to his knees in front of him, his hands cupping Adrian’s face with such tenderness it almost broke him. His thumbs brushed away the evidence of tears, the warmth of his touch grounding Adrian in the present.
“What happened?” Logan asked, his voice low and intent, his entire focus on Adrian’s tear-streaked cheeks and the puffiness around his eyes.
“Nothing,” Adrian said quickly, his voice thick as he tried to brush away the tears himself. “It’s just the salt, the sand… I got sand in—”
“You’re not lying to me now,” Logan interrupted, his voice firm but gentle. His movements were deliberate as he shifted forward, straddling Adrian’s thighs. His knees sank into the sand on either side, and before Adrian could protest, Logan’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him close. His warmth, his presence, his steady breath; it was everything Adrian had been missing in those few hours apart.
Adrian let himself melt into the embrace, his arms circling Logan as he buried his face against Logan’s chest. “It’s stupid,” he murmured, his voice muffled by Logan’s skin. “Where were you?”
Logan exhaled, his hand moving in slow, soothing strokes along Adrian’s back. “Just... needed a moment. I’ve been to the cabin and saw you weren’t there. You didn’t touch the food.”
“Waited for you,” Adrian admitted, his voice soft as one hand slid up to thread through Logan’s hair. He breathed him in, the scent of salt and the faint musk of the ocean clinging to him. Logan’s presence was intoxicating, calming the storm that had been raging in Adrian’s chest all afternoon.
Adrian’s mind repeated the same mantra:Logan is here.
Logan is here.
Logan is here.
Logan kan.
Logan kan.
