“Just, whatever you want…” he said, too flustered by the situation to think clearly. “Just… ahh, pick something.”
And she shook her head with a little smile on her face and clicked a few times on the screen, and then moans and exaggerated sex noises filled the room as the video played in which a young, muscled, tattooed guy was getting his dick sucked by a woman. Logan was hyper-focused on the guy; he watched as his ass flexed when he shoved his dick down the girl’s throat. He watched intently as his thighs tightened with each movement, the powerful muscles rippling beneath the surface, evidence of countless hours spent training. However, it was his arms that truly captivated him. Theywere not just strong; they were impressively massive, with bulging biceps that seemed to swell with every motion. The defined veins just beneath the skin hinted at the hard work he had put into sculpting them. Each time he raised his arms, his shoulder blades shifted gracefully, emphasizing the sheer power within him and creating a striking silhouette that radiated confidence and vigor. And it worked, his cock jerked to life, and he felt the pressure in his balls.
“So, you have a thing for blonds?” Sandy pointed, giggling lightly.
“Huh?” Logan said, and only then did he notice the woman.
Right. The woman was blonde.
He chuckled uncomfortably and nodded to his wife.
He pushed her back on the mattress and covered her body with his. As he kissed her, he made sure to keep his eyes glued to the screen, where the guy was now fucking the girl from behind. He flipped Sandy to her back and pushed into her with one movement, imagining it was the gorgeous guy he wanted to be with.
The moans from the computer and from Sandy and himself filled the silent house as Logan finally found his release. His cock jerked into the condom as he thrust in and out of Sandy’s body, holding her hips with one hand. As his orgasm eased, he still lay on top of his wife, and reached with one hand to close the laptop’s lid, and the room went completely silent, just the sound of his and Sandy’s breathing broke the soundlessness.
“Thank you,” he mumbled and kissed her shoulder. Her skin was soft and smooth.
“I love you, Logan,” she whispered and turned her head to search for his lips. He kissed her mouth briefly before he pulled away.
“Me too.”
It wasn’t a lie. He did love her, just… not like he knew he should have.
Chapter 4
The Shape of What I Felt
July 10, 2018—North Shore, Oahu, Hawaii—One Year and Six Months Earlier
Loganstudiedhimselfinthe cracked mirror hanging in his tiny beach cabin, lit only by the amber slant of the sun dipping into the horizon. The ocean whispered just outside his window, beckoning as it always did, filling his mind with the ceaseless rhythms of tides and waves. He and Adrian had been riding those same waves together for five days now, and somehow, it felt like lifetimes. Days of salt-washed mornings, golden afternoons, and nights that pulsed with laughter had stretched between them like the unbroken line of a wave—intense, boundless, and yet always threatening to crash.
He felt that Adrian was a part of him now, mornings and evenings together, full days side by side, and he could not fathom the idea of being out there alone.
Every thought of Adrian stirred something deep in him. His grin faltered as the memory surfaced: sooner or later, Adrian would have to leave, just like the tides always pull away, just like waves eventually fold back into the sea. The very idea of it tightened his chest, a slow, creeping chill that felt all wrong here in the warm cradle of sand and surf. Adrian hadn’t mentionedwhen he’d be leaving, hadn’t said anything concrete, but Logan could feel the clock ticking, the slow pull of an undertow. And yet, every time he thought of asking Adrian to stay, fear gnawed at him—fear of seeming too needy, fear that Adrian might say yes just to spare his feelings, an answer that would feel like driftwood between them, floating but hollow.
A soft knock broke through his reverie, scattering the tangled thoughts like foam on the shore. Logan opened the door, and there he was—Adrian, leaning casually with that easy, sunlit grin that made Logan’s pulse trip over itself. His stomach tightened, a rush of heat rising before he could will it down. He rolled his eyes, fumbling for composure like it was something he’d left on the floor.
“I told you, you can just come in,” he muttered, turning away to wrestle with his shoes, hoping the motion would hide the flush creeping up his neck.
Adrian’s laugh was soft, and Logan’s heart skipped a beat when he caught it. “Feels wrong somehow,” he murmured, stepping in and shutting the door with a quiet click. Logan felt Adrian’s presence like a familiar swell at his back; constant, gentle, carrying a subtle power that steadied him even as it made him come undone.
Finishing with his shoes, Logan stood up, “Let’s go?” he asked, glancing at Adrian while combing his fingers through his hair.
Adrian’s eyes were transfixed on him, something passing through his gaze as he looked at Logan adoringly. “Yeah.” He finally answered.
They walked together through the dusky twilight toward the crowded beach club, a sprawling jumble of bodies and light and music. Logan glanced over at Adrian, catching glimpses of him in the dim, flickering light. Adrian wore a faded black shirt, its buttons mostly undone, revealinga chest shaped by the ocean’s endless rhythm, each muscle sculpted. The thought rose in him, soft yet undeniable, like a tide he couldn’t resist: Adrian was beautiful, breathtaking as the sea itself, fierce and endless and achingly alive. Logan quickly pushed that thought back down, letting it dissolve in the ebb of the moment.
The party spilled out across a half-open deck, stretching to the edge of the beach where waves rolled close, whispering against the sand, mingling with the bass that throbbed through the night. Bodies swayed and collided, barely clothed, painted in smudges of neon and glitter that caught the flickering lights, casting a surreal, electric glow over the crowd. The air was thick with heat and movement, people shifting in waves, blurring in and out of Logan’s vision.
Logan’s heart drummed against his ribs, a steady rhythm that felt offbeat in the chaos around him. He let Adrian pull him toward the bar, warm, firm fingers wrapping around his wrist in an easy movement. A touch so casual it shouldn’t have meant anything, but it left something unsteady in its wake. When Adrian let go, Logan felt it like a drop in pressure, a sudden absence that settled in his chest. He took the shot Adrian handed him with more eagerness than he wanted to admit, hoping the burn would dull the strange pull tightening under his skin. He welcomed the fire in his throat, willing it to dissolve the awkward tension that clung to him, to loosen the ache he couldn’t name. He wanted to dissolve into the current, to belong in this wild sea of strangers who moved; colliding, parting, endlessly free.
Adrian slipped easily into that current, as if he belonged to it—his body loose, moving to the beat like he was one with the music, his face open and relaxed. Logan watched from the edge, rooted to his spot by the bar, painfully aware of his own stiffness, his own self-consciousness that onlydeepened as he watched Adrian lose himself in the music. Here, with Adrian, he felt raw and exposed, out of his element, unsure of how to fit into this vast, untethered space. He felt small, like he might disappear in the shadows.
And then Adrian noticed, slipping back through the crowd, his face lighting up as he came close, his eyes soft and full of something Logan couldn’t name. Adrian leaned in, his breath warm against Logan’s ear as he spoke over the music, the brush of his cheek a fleeting touch that sent an electric shiver down Logan’s spine.
“Come dance!” Logan could hear the grin in Adrian’s voice, felt it in the way he said the words, in the curl of laughter lingering.
Logan shook his head, resisting, feeling a hot flush rise to his cheeks. “No,” he mumbled, barely trusting his own voice. The feel of Adrian’s stubble brushing his skin almost made him gasp, the softness and warmth so unexpected it left him dizzy.
