The streams of water gave, and the fire took.
Adrian drew a ragged breath, the acrid scent of smoke mingling with the briny tang of salt in the air. At that moment, the cycle of beginning and end crystallized within him, clarity piercing through the haze of his grief.With sudden resolve, he cast the envelope into the flames, watching as it surrendered to the fire’s voracious appetite.
It had been far too long since life had offered him anything worth living for, and now he was ready to let death come and claim him. It didn’t matter anymore; each breath felt like a lie, his heartbeat a mischievous trick. Every blink of his eyes served as a reminder of pain, each voice he heard failed to be the one he longed for, and every face passing by felt unfamiliar and hollow. No wonder he had surrendered the will to battle for his life, his very essence had faded long ago, leaving him a mere shadow of what he once was.
The moon emerged from behind the clouds, casting a silvery glow over the flickering flames. Shadows danced away from the fire, and Adrian could almost catch the faint sound of a playful giggle mingled with a throaty moan calling his name as the light wind caressed the flames, drawing nourishment from the wood.
His gaze drifted back to the ocean, shimmering ominously in the moonlight, but he didn’t truly see it. Instead, his weeping heart and tear-stained eyes conjured an image of crystal-clear waters on a sun-soaked day. He felt the cool embrace of the water against his skin, even as he gasped for the night air. In his mind, he saw the man of his dreams, effortlessly surfing on his board, leaving behind a trail of glistening spray and white foam, as the ocean spoke to them, inviting them to ride its powerful barrels.
Hums surrounded him, voices weaving through the air, but there was only one that mattered. It belonged to a young, beautiful man, his smile radiant as he called Adrian’s name, urging him to join him in the water. The voice echoed softly, a haunting melody that existed solely in Adrian’s mind, pulling him into a distant, dreamlike realm. Yet the crackling ofthe fire cut through the reverie, anchoring him back to the present, where reality flickered like the flames before him. Adrian closed his eyes, surrendering to the tears that fell freely, the agony enveloping him as the salty wind tousled his hair and brushed against his face, like the ocean attempting to soothe his shattered spirit. As the pain intensified, becoming an all-consuming weight, he eventually stopped crying. There was nothing left within him but that relentless ache, a hurt so acute it had drained him of tears. He felt hollow, emptied of both sorrow and life, a mere shell adrift in the vastness of his despair.
He sank into silence, withdrawing into himself and abandoning all hope. The turbulence within urged his feet into the water, a silent plea for the ocean to embrace him, to soothe the heavy sorrow and pain he carried like an invisible weight. As he walked, his feet sank into the cool sand, each step toward the horizon pulling him deeper into the darkening blue.
With every move, his worn jeans soaked up the cold, briny water, an unwelcome reminder of the growing distance between him and the shore. A shiver coursed through him as the icy waves welcomed his toes, a sharp contrast to the ache in his heart. Perhaps, just perhaps, the water would summon Logan back to him, a flicker of hope amid the vast emptiness.
Chapter 1
An Ocean on Dry Land
Logan had left the ocean behind, but the ancient streams never stopped pulling at his veins.
November 13, 2018—Queensland, Australia—Two Years Earlier
LoganVaughnsatatthe busy airport.
He gazed into the distance, his eyes fixed on a point that seemed to vanish into emptiness, surrounded by a world fading into a blur, blurred by the shimmering tears that hung perilously at the edges. Within him, a chaos of thoughts clamored for recognition, a symphony of mayhem that he strove to silence, yearning instead for the comforting embrace of serenity.
With one hand clutching his phone and the other grasping a bottle of Coke, its chilled, dark liquid remained unspoiled. Not a single sip had crossed his lips; the mere thought of it loomed large, an insurmountable challenge. He had purchased it simply to grip something tangible, a distraction to hold onto as he longed for his escape from this place. His nails pressed into the plastic while he quaked beneath the weight of his inner turmoil.
Logan sat in the bustling airport, surrounded by a whirlwind of travelers rushing to their destinations. To him, they felt like ghosts, fleeting andinsubstantial, their faces a blur as they hurried past. He didn’t see them; he could only sense the chaos they carried with them, a storm of urgency that swirled around him.
A wave of nausea rolled through him, threatening to overwhelm him. He fought the urge to be sick, trying to focus on the world on all sides. The burn of unshed tears filled his eyes, and he willed them to stay put. “Just a bit longer,” he whispered to himself, clinging to the thought like a lifeline. He was returning to the Vaughn family, and he recalled the lesson he had learned long ago:Be a man. Men didn’t cry; they faced their challenges head-on. And so, as he sat there, Logan steeled himself against the anguish within, determined to handle it all, no matter how heavy the weight felt.
The next flight to Seattle would depart in an hour, but Logan had already been waiting for two excruciating hours. Each minute stretched endlessly, and he could barely catch his breath. The thought of returning home was a mix of terror and angst, swirling in his chest like a tempest, taking his breath away. He felt the urge to scream, to unleash all the frustrations and agony that weighed him down, to let out a cry that would pierce the air and lighten his burden. Just then, his phone buzzed against his leg, the vibration low but enough to send a jolt through his entire body. He glanced at the screen.
Adrian.
The sight of that name conjured a heart-wrenching wave of emotion, making it nearly impossible to hold back the tears. With eyes tightly shut, he surrendered to the overwhelming pain bearing down on him. A fierce interplay of heat and cold surged through his body, while his hands trembled uncontrollably, betraying his attempts to maintain composure, showing the whirlwind of emotions that threatened to suffocate his soul.Logan let the call slip into voicemail, caught in a fierce battle between the yearning for the phone to ring again and the desperate prayer for silence. He craved a savior to emerge from the shadows, to rescue him from this chaos that engulfed him. Yet, paradoxically, a part of him longed to escape on that flight, to flee. To go. To run.
Back to Adrian. His brain immediately completed as he thought of running.
Logan fixed his gaze into the void, the phone in his hand vibrating incessantly with calls and messages. Each buzz seemed to echo the unease lodged deep within him, a reminder of the chaos swirling and building in every fiber of his being. Memories flickered through his mind, and deep down, he silently called for Adrian, wishing he could conjure him up. Adrian had a way of grounding him, of bringing clarity to the storm that raged inside.
His heart felt like it was bleeding, aching for connection. It screamed at him to answer the call, to reach out and find solace in the familiar voice. He knew that with just the press of a button, everything could feel manageable again. But still, he hesitated, caught in the tension between his longing for comfort and the weight of his despair.
Logan Vaughn should have answered his phone. But he didn’t.
He hated Adrian for caring so much. For calling non-stop.
7:04 AM
Where are you? Is everything okay?
Lo, answer your damn phone!
Please. Please just tell me you’re okay.
I’m freaking out.
