We’ve never discussed how what I did affected his mother… the rest of his family.
“She’s never lived alone,” he muses. “She married my father at nineteen, so the prospect of doing things just for herself is exciting, but I think a little frightening, too.”
“That’s young. They must have really been in love,” I say carefully.
“It wasn’t love.” He scoffs. “It was an agreement between her father and Mikhail’s father. He was the pakhan, then.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what to say to that.
“Very few of rank marry for love in the bratva. Marriages are to cement alliances and consolidate power.”
I think of the crown on his neck. Is that what his future will hold?
“I know you said you and your father weren’t…” I grimace not sure how to phrase it. “Are you close with your mother?”
He looks away. “I love her. She’s my mother.”
That doesn’t answer my question.
I feel his arm tense next to me and think that’s all he’ll say. He surprises me when he continues. “She’s not a strong woman, and that makes it hard to have a relationship. My father was a monster who thrived on our pain. I was still a small child when I realized that all the things she promised me… that she would leave him, that she would protect me… they weren’t promises she could keep.”
“Because of the bratva?” I frown.
Liev shakes his head. “No. Once Mikhail took power, things were different. Believe it or not he has a hard line on how he views duty and family. If she’d gone to him, Mikhail would have supported her leaving.” He cuts me a look. “Not because he thinks hurting people weaker is wrong, but because she isKovalyov, and my father’s duty was to care for his wife not disrespect her. It’s messed up, but it makes sense in its own way. We protect our own. Or we’re supposed to.”
“I’ve found it’s the people who say they love you, who hurt you the worst.”
He turns his head to look at me.
“I’m not just talking about Aaron. My dad never wanted me.” He tenses next to me then his hand moves, thick fingers slide between mine and lace our hands together. I give him a rueful smile. “It’s not a secret. I’m sure you know about my dad.”
Liev nods. “The boxer.”
“He and my mom had Brady young, like really, really young. He was getting ready to go pro, and a family would just be in the way. He would visit every now and then. On one of those visits, I was a souvenir.” To my surprise, the familiar pain doesn’t come. “I always hoped that on one of his visits he’d finally be interested in me. Maybe talk to me. But he never did. Brady got a little attention because he was a boy, but Ray always looked at me like he was afraid I’d bite him.”
“We did discuss your feral tendencies.” He bumps my shoulder, and I smile.
“Good point. Things were a little better when I got older. He came to see me right after…” I bite hard on my lip as the pain finally surfaces. “He took one look at my injuries and…” My voice breaks off.
Liev’s face darkens, and his fingers grip mine tighter. I swallow past the emotion. “He made a joke about how at least I was smart… something like that. Honestly, I don’t remember exactly what he said, just that it brought home to me how damaged I am now. After my first freakout in the hospital, they wouldn’t let me have a mirror again.”
Liev swears viciously under his breath.
“It’s okay. I mean, I guess in his defense half my head was wrapped in bandages, and it was pretty gross to look at… And he’s been punched in the head… a lot.”
“He was involved in Elizabeth’s rescue last summer.” Liev frowns.
“Yeah, we needed his help. He’s apologized for what he said, and I know he’s trying to make amends, but I haven’t been ready to hear them yet.” I inhale through my nose. “But maybe someday. So, I understand all about asshole parents.”
He leans in and kisses my temple. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For leaving the gate open.”
I stare at him blankly. “What are you talking about?”
“Never mind,” he says softly, this time bending to kiss my lips, not caring who sees.
