“My point exactly. What were you doing at that age?”
“Nope. Not doing this. Let’s go, Firefly, before you completely corrupt my baby sister.”
I watch them as he drags her toward the stairs, Elizabeth giggling at something he’s whispering to her. At the last second, Brady spins on the step and points a finger at me.
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
The unspoken words sound in my ears.
Stupid. Naïve. Damaged.
That’s who I’ve become in his eyes.
My jaw works back and forth.
No more. I’m done letting Aaron win.
Tonight is the night I fix myself.
2
SERA
The bass slams into my chest with each beat, thudding through my ribs until I swear my heart’s trying to match it. Or maybe it’s the vodka. Either way, I’m warm and loose, just like I wanted. A fizzy, reckless current zips down my spine as I lift my arms over my head and let my hips roll with the rhythm.
This was a good idea. I don’t know what I was so scared of.
I’ve got this.
The lights have become colorful streaks, and the crowd blurs a little around me, but I’m still in control.
I repeat it silently. Firmer this time.I’m still in control.
I turn to face the guy I’ve been dancing with for the last few songs. He’s about my height, and though I can’t see his features clearly under the lights of the club, he has broad shoulders and floppy hair. Young fuck-boy energy. Perfect for what I’m looking for.
You’re young, a voice in my head reminds me.
Twenty-four might be young for some people, but I haven’tfeltyoung in years.
I shake my head to banish the thought, and the loose weight of my hair swishes across my face.
His hands slide over my waist and then lower. I wait for the panic to start. For the ghost-memories ofhisfingers tugging at me. Holding me down.
Nothing.
I grin up at Floppy-Hair brightly, and his fingers flex on my swiveling hips as he tugs me closer.
My body is ambivalent about the motion. I’m not turned on, but I’m not repulsed either.
It’s a win.
I’m not broken.
Smugness warms my chest. My plan is working perfectly.
Pick someone, have a couple of drinks, get an uncomplicated orgasm—or at least attempt to have one—and have sex.
It’s just physical therapy. No different than the PT I did for a year that stretched and loosened the scar tissue in my shoulder. Painful but necessary.
