Take what you want.
Fuck the consequences.
I knocked at the alpha's door, earning a grunted "What?" in response that didn't meet the social criteria for being invited inside. But, unlike the vampire protagonists in 18th centurynovels, I didn't need to be welcomed to find myself where I wanted to be.
A simple fact that'd proved to be one of the greatest joys in my life so far. All doors were an invitation to open them, so long as one knew how to bypass the lock.
Using my shoulder to open the door a little wider, I was further assaulted with the stench of Indigo's displeasure. It was easy to see why Joon and Marcus had decided to go out for the afternoon. Though I imagined that had about as much to do with their desire to get to know each other better now that they were permanently tied as it was to get away from the alpha's dire mood.
Would you need to get to know each other heaps once the bond was formed? That felt like the kind of thing that felt moot after you had a direct path to their every emotion. But perhaps there was more lurking under Joon's skin than I anticipated. A difficult concept to marry with my two-dimensional view of the bratty omega.
"You're being a bit childish, don't you think?" I asked, leaning in the doorframe with my arms crossed. "I thought you'd be happy that Joon finally decided to stop being difficult. Or, maybe, are you jealous that Marcus is taking a turn with your toy? There will be plenty of time for you to play with him later, you know?"
"Don't talk about him like that," Indi snapped, not bothering to look up from their computer monitor as their health steadily trickled towards zero, the screen coated in red warning that their character was about to pass out. "He's not a possession that can be owned or whatever weirdo dehumanizing bullshit you're trying to get at."
"If that's the case, shouldn't it be something to celebrate that he's decided to join our family? Why are you having such a difficult time respecting his decision with Marcus?"
"Because Joon is mine," Indigo growled, their jaw wound so tightly I worried that their teeth would transform into finely ground dust.
Micro fissures, or craze-lines, as some dentists liked to refer to them as?—
Because I could get caught in the information spiral about the likelihood of hairline cracks in Indigo's enamel, or their relatively benign nature, I looked around the room to distract myself, breathing in slowly through my nose.
However manageable I found my condition to be, it was often the most prominent and inconvenient when I was dealing with stressful situations. Like my pack mates' emotions.
I studied the glass tank on the far side of Indi's room, next to the window. The rosy abomination was resting its unevenly coiled body over the dessicated log that ran the length of its enclosure, the mix of the cool and warm light provided by the window and bulb making Potato's scales glisten.
"And yet," I said slowly, letting out a breath through my mouth as the urge to lecture my packmate about his oral hygiene loosened. "You say Joon isn't a possession. So which is it?"
"Pedantic cunt."
"My question is sincere."
"I don't expect you to get it, you don't give a fuck about anything enough to want it outside of carefully laid contracts and rules."
The barb was meant to wound, but Indigo had a point. It suited me fine to know where I stood in my relationships. And if that meant that I was a touch unromantic in the way I pursued them, a little removed… So be it. The agreed boundaries of my relationships with both omegas had offered me more than enough freedom to experiment, and even surprise—the memory of Eva's scream as I reached for her between fabrics dyed moreshades of pink than I knew existed nearly drew a smile to my face.
But, there was more to romance than surprise. And the longer I spent with each of them, the more I'd had to consider their needs as well.
A truly horrifying thought, considering the entirely illogical amount that Eva spent crying over nothing.
Still, as different as the two were, I'd noticed one unifying desire between Eva and Joon—Transparency.
"Why not share your?—"
"If you're going to tell me to tell Joon my feelings, I already fucking did. But it doesn't matter; there's no going back. What's done is done. I just—I thought that—I was under the impression that?—"
"It would be you?" I finished, tiring a little of the pussy footing around the issue. The continuous start and stop of unfinished sentences adds to Indigo's displeased scent to give me a headache.
This was the thing with them: they were too sensitive. In my experience, letting something as frivolous as other people's feelings get in the way of what they really wanted never ended in the results you desired. And worse, Indigo didn't just worry about the negative emotions; they spent time on the positive ones as well—a hideously foolish endeavor that wasted their time and pulled them further away from their goals.
If they could just think of themselves—Want something and take it without considering how it would impact the people around them—their life would be much easier.
Surely, at the very least, it would be more fulfilling than waiting around hoping that their desires would align perfectly with someone else's.
Or worse, maybe they just accepted whatever it was that our toys wanted.
The idea was harrowing. Joon thought that an appropriate breakfast consisted of half a pint of ice cream before he moved in with us. If he couldn't be trusted with basic nutrition, how could he be trusted with anyone else's desires?
