From the moment I'd cracked my eyes open to find Joon’s bite marked into my skin, I knew it was going to cause some friction in the pack. But…I was disoriented, the final pangs of rut only just loosening its claws as I acclimated to the day with two thoughts in my mind—the first, that I was bonded with Joon, I could feel him, soft with sleep on the other end of the tether between us like a favorite teddy bear. The second, that this wasn’t at all how I wanted this to go, and I needed to take action to fix that, immediately.
I was so focused on needing to make things right with the omega that I hadn’t considered how Indi would feel at all. Really, I hadn’t thought about anyone but Joon. And that didn’t feel good.
Not at all.
There was more to our pack than just the two of us, and Indigo and Cameo, and yes, even Eva deserved more than being an afterthought. But it was too late now.
I barely looked at the mess that Indigo left behind, VHS tapes and boxes littering the floor in a heap. Really, it could've been worse. Alotworse. They hadn't even ripped the tape from the cases, so for the most part, all I had to worry about were a couple of damaged boxes or maybe the odd crack in the protective plastic.
Really, it wasn't what was important right now.
Joon exploded into sobs, his hurt and despair so thick in our bond that it made my throat tight with tears.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd cried, or even felt like crying. Well... that was a lie.
Mindy.
But this was different. This was my omega needing me. And I was quick to answer the call.
"T-T-T-This is a-a-a-all my f-f-f-fault!" Joon wailed, colliding hard with my chest to grip at my shirt as he cried.
I rubbed his back in slow circles, lifting the omega into my arms to sit on the edge of the bed.
"They didn't mean it," I said quietly. "People say things they don't mean when they're hurting."
Of course, I knew that what Indigo said was meant to be painful. But it was hard to hurt over something that you knew to be true.
I wasn't the kind of alpha that people stayed for, at least I hadn't been. And the way I'd been acting since Mindy walked out on us... I'd been making it even harder to justify sticking around. But I wanted to change that.
I had to, now that Joon and I were bonded. He didn't deserve an alpha that was constantly holding him in contempt.
He needed care.
Trust.
Courting.
That's where I'd gone this morning, I needed to go by the restaurant and make sure my sous chef was able to handle things while I stepped away for the week to deal with the inevitable fallout of our surprise bond.
Plus... I needed some time to come to terms with things myself. Bonding was more difficult than I'd anticipated; the flood of Joon's emotions throughout the day bombarding me was overwhelming to say the least.
And, we hadn't even courted properly. I'd never taken Joon on a date, or brought him a gift, or—if I was honest—treated him the way that I should've. Not until Eva arrived in our lives and I realized just how unfair I’d been. Even then… it wasn’t enough.
It was like the memory of Mindy had attached itself to Joon like a virus, and I wasn’t entirely sure how to make it stop.
In an effort to move the needle in the right direction, I'd stopped by the art store on the way home to pick up some pastels and a fancy sketchbook, thinking that a more tactile medium would give the omega a bit of variation in his practice. And, with the dreamy monotone color palettes that he'd been gravitating towards recently, I thought that the fluid nature of the pastels would lend well to his style.
This, of course, was a huge mistake.
I probably should've just called the restaurant and stayed home, then I would've been here to nip this whole mess in the bud.
A deep, rumbling purr rattled my chest, trying to soothe Joon's sobs as much as my hands passing over every part of him that I could reach. But I wasn't any good at comforting people; usually, that was Indigo's job.
The irony was not lost on me.
"Why don't we go out for a bit?" I suggested. "Get out and clear your head?"
Joon hiccuped, sniffing. "Okay..."
