I wondered how much of Marcus' festering emotions were because he was mated to me, not Eva. The big, dumb alpha probably woke up this morning, realized it was me he was mated to, and started panicking.
Fuck, I'm so stupid. I couldn't even blame him, rut was as powerful as a heat, he wasn't exactly himself last night.
And well, neither was I. I guess.
"What do you want with him anyway?" they asked after they'd died, waiting to load back in. "You were really going at it yesterday,"
"Huh?" I asked, half distracted by my own thoughts and half worried that Indi worked out what'd happened between us before I'd figured out how to talk to them about it.
"Fucking heated, you know?"
"Oh! That, right!" I said, absolutely failing at this non-chalant thing at sincerely catastrophic levels. "No real reason—" I hedged, wincing at the weak excuse internally. "I just… wanted to thank him for making muffins."
God, that was worse than no real reason.
"Gotcha.”
I wasn't sure if Indi bought my incredibly flimsy excuse, but they didn't say anything that indicated otherwise.
Finally, video games were useful for something.
"And, um… where's Eva?" I asked, my chronic foot-in-mouth disease clearly having a terminal flare-up.
"Cameo took her home when he went to the gym. She has to stream tonight, so…"
"Oh, yeah, right. Sunday."
At least Eva wasn't here to listen to me get dumped. I had to tell them about what happened, but maybe I could avoid telling her myself. Save that embarrassment for someone else.
Bonding an alpha less than twelve hours after admitting, I was just thinking about it… I’d skipped weirdo behaviour and had fallen headlong into straight-up psycho.
God, how did everything get so messed up? Why couldn't I just keep my fucking teeth to myself?
"Are you okay?" Indi asked, their nose only a couple of millimeters away form mind, so close that I had to look at them crosseyed.
I'd been so busy in my cycle of self-loathing that I hadn't even noticed them moving.
"F-fine, why?" I stammered, entirely unconvincing.
They lifted a hand to my forehead, testing my temperature with the back. "You look a little pale… Hey, your heat isn't for a few more weeks, right? Still got some time?"
"No, no! I still have a while!" I confirmed, too eagerly, with my head nodding up and down like a fucking bobblehead. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, maybe I'm just tired?"
"Tired," Indigo echoed, the corner of their mouth tugging up into a smirk. "Riiiight, and I know why."
My muscles locked into place, heart exploding into a gallop in an experience hideously close to the night terrors I'd experienced as a kid. Except instead of an unnamed Boogey Man hunting me from under my bed, it was the looming likelihood of me losing the first alpha that I'd wanted to bond me since my broken bond.
"You do?" I asked, my tongue darting out to lick my dry lips.
"Sure do," Indigo said with a hum, smile still on their face, making me think otherwise.
Or maybe, maybe I had this whole thing wrong?
Indigo was an understanding person. I'd known this for a long time, given how patient they'd been with me about, well, everything.
"And you're not mad?" I asked uncertainly, feeling like I was taking my first full breath in hours.
They lifted an eyebrow, chuckling. "Why would I be mad? Isn't it the whole point?"
