The pain I experienced when that happened… it all just felt like a bad dream now. But every once in a while, I would get that phantom pain, the one that reminded me of how awful that all was.
And while I wanted to be with them, and this was a pack I would choose for myself, the fear of ever putting myself in that position again was crippling, to say the least.
I wasn't even sure how Mason would react if he knew I was seeing a pack. After everything happened, he was pretty clear that I needed to go to college, live a normal life, and that he would handle everything.
And for his part, that was true. I never heard from our parents again, and I never heard from that alpha ever again. And I hardly heard from Mason. The last time I'd seen him, he told me it was better this way. I knew he was trying to protect me from whatever was going on with the family, but sometimes, I did miss my brother.
But after he got me out, finding out I decided to bond again would probably be a shock. He would for sure nag me about it. He was worse than a mother hen, and I was so not ready to deal with that.
Eva rolled over in her sleep, her pink hair forming a messy halo around her head. I leaned down and pushed some of itout of her face, looking at her sleeping expression. She was something special, that was for sure.
And when I told her about my past, she was so… understanding. Which I didn't even realize I had been worried about. What if she saw me as… I don't know, used goods?
Damn, my childhood messed me up.
Maybe I should go to therapy again.
I dropped a kiss to her cheek before wiggling out from under the covers and padding to the door. Mine and Indi's room was the only one without a bathroom inside, but we had one right next door that no one else really used.
When I was washing my hands, I glanced at myself in the mirror. And more importantly, that tattoo I had on my arm. I turned to the side to look at it head-on. It was something I hardly looked at, much less thought about.
Eva had called it pretty earlier and ran her fingers over it. I could almost feel her phantom touch over the top of the first wing. It was an okay tattoo. The beta who did it hadn't said anything about it when he saw the bite, just tattooed over it without any questions, which I appreciated. And for a flash piece, it was pretty intricate. The middle had some dark shading that did a really good job of covering the bite, but if I looked closely enough, the outer edge was still peeking out.
I shuddered thinking about it, but I didn't feel the full paralysis of the day like I used to. Which is an improvement. One I could largely attribute to this pack.
Indi had been my rock from the beginning, making me feel stable from day one. Cameo never shied away from my major attitude; these days just shutting me up with his cock down my throat. And Marcus… even though things were tenuous between us, there had never been a time he made me feel unsafe. And before them, no alpha had ever felt safe.
But they changed my perception. Even if they had their… quirks, it just made them more endearing to me.
When I was done examining myself, I shut off the light and turned, keen on going back to my room and cuddling with Eva.
As I was leaving, however, an intense scent hit me. Marcus' salted caramel scent smacked me so hard it made me a bit weak in the knees. I held the wall across from me, making it even worse.
Marcus' room was directly across from the bathroom. Was something wrong with him?
"Marcus?" I said, knocking on the door a bit.
There was no answer. I tried again, but nothing.
What if something was wrong with him? What if he was passed out in there, dying?
I flung the door open, working myself up enough to think I was about to find a dead body.
Instead, I found a very alive Marcus squirming in his bed. Pheromones in the air were so thick I could hardly breathe.
I walked over to his bed. He must be sick or something. By the time I got there, slick was pouring from me.
Marcus was lying there, sweat stippled on his forehead in little beads.
"Are you okay?" I asked, but he didn't move.
I had to lean forward on the bed to keep my knees from falling out beneath me. I… I should go get help. Cameo, or Indi. But my body wouldn't move. My cock was hard as a rock.
That's when it hit me. Marcus was probably in a rut cycle. I had no clue what any of their cycles were, outside of Indi. He didn't seem to have any symptoms earlier, but knowing him, he probably just ignored them completely.
I should get him some suppressants and water. But instead, I found myself crawling up his bed. It was like my body had a mind of its own.
Soon, my arms were on either side of his body, my thighs enclosing his waist.
