Once he had finally agreed to a bottle of water that wasn’t spring water, we all sat down around the table.
I promised my mom to be on my best behavior. Therefore, I asked, “So, Alan, what is it that you do?”
He looked at me after he looked at the lasagna, salad, and garlic bread on the table, and asked, “Can you please show me you were brought up properly?”
Umm, excuse-the-fuck-me?
I looked at Bax with a are you fucking kidding me look.
He narrowed his eyes at Alan.
Then I looked at Mom, who winced and gave me a pleading smile.
I growled low in my throat.
Then I asked, “What do you do for a profession?”
“Oh, that’s what you were asking me. Right, I am the manager at Whispering Falls Country Club.”
I nodded, “Ah. That makes sense.” I muttered under my breath.
Bax obviously heard me and snorted.
“So, Alan, we’re glad to have you in our home.” My mother said.
Alan nodded, “Yes. I am... well... how old is your house?”
Bax answered him, “It’s ten years old.”
Alan nodded.
Then we started passing around the dishes and loading our plates up.
Alan asked, “Do you have any fat-free dressing?”
My mom shook her head, “No. Sorry. We don’t like the way it tastes.”
“It shows,” he said and sighed, “Very well, I will have to work extra hard to get rid of the calories.”
I grabbed the bottle of the good ranch dressing and drenched my salad in it.
Bax snickered.
Mom giggled.
Then came the first of the proverbial final straw.
“Did you use fat-free cottage cheese in this?” Alan asked as he poked at his lasagna.
Mom shook her head, “No. I didn’t use any cottage cheese. Only mozzarella cheese.”
He snapped; he fucking snapped at my mother.
“That’s full of toxins!”
I growled.
Bax growled.
