Another tear trailed down her cheek.
I winked, “You once told me that you wanted a relationship like it used to be. Where the man took one look at a woman and just knew. You don’t know this... but I had my moment when I laid eyes on you at Dominiks that first time. I was just too fucking scared to admit it.”
“I’d rather have what time we have left than never have you at all,” I whispered.
Another tear trailed down her cheek, then I looked at Bax and Kendra, “Can y’all take my kids to another room for a moment. There’s something I need to tell Lila.”
They both nodded.
Cole kissed her cheek before he stood up.
Madalyn kissed her other cheek then stood up.
And both times the kids did it, she closed her eyes and leaned into their touch.
The moment they were out of the room, I whispered, “Eyes, baby. Give me those crystal baby blues, yeah?”
She sighed, then gave me those eyes.
“When Cole was eight, and Madalyn was six, I had been in a fight. I came out of that cage only to learn that while I had been in there, my babies were shoved in a basement at a party so their mom could get high. But not on pot. On cocaine and meth. And the door was locked. There was no bathroom, food, or water for them. I found out they had been there for a little over ten hours. The bitch lied to me and told me they were sleeping when I had called to check on them before my fight.”
She gasped.
I nodded.
“I’ve haven’t gone to a party since. It left a bad taste in my mouth. And you should have talked to me before you said yes. I would have let you explain, and knowing then what I know now, I would have let her go.”
She nodded.
“The other two things you have to know, and this is a secret that I need you to take in and hold close, and never share it with anyone, okay?”
She nodded.
I shared about the nightmare I had that I lost her. It was stupid to hold back from her because of that, and judging by the look she gave me, she thought that too.
“But the main reason why I held back... every woman I’ve ever met has used me or betrayed me. You already know about my mom and what she said when I took Cole to meet her for the first time. But here’s what the world doesn’t know...”
I swallowed, then I looked deep into her eyes and said, “Is that I didn’t put Cole or Madalyn in Eve’s body willingly. She drugged me and climbed on top of me to get what she wanted.”
Lila was frozen, then she whispered, “That. Motherfucking. Hoe. Cum dumpster. What a fucking piece of shit. No, she’s not a bitch. That’s an insult to a bitch. No, what she is worse. One day a word will come up, and that will be her. They will write her name under the definition of the word.”
I grinned up at her at her vehemence in defense of me.
“Can you maybe get why I was hesitant?” I asked.
She nodded.
Then I shared, “I should have remembered that I trust you, that night. I’m so fucking sorry. Can you please give me another chance?”
Lila
It’s not a good idea.
I should never have told him about my illness.
The illness was starting to become even worse with each passing day.
But my heart... well, it was tired of being denied.
