“Charlie girl, can you get our fearless leader a shot and a beer?I’ll have my usual.”Terro’s eyes met mine, causing a shiver to race down my spine.
Terro’s eyes cut to the man behind me, radiating completely pissed-off energy.He cocks an eyebrow before a slow smile spreads across his face as a knowing look fills his eyes.Blitz steps closer to my back, placing his hand on my hip, giving it a squeeze before leaving without a backward glance or word.Plastering on the biggest smile I can come up with, I spin around, pulling the requested beers out of the fridge under the bar and pop the tops.I fight with everything I’ve got inside of me to not run and hide while my heart, soul, and mind battle with roaring emotions.I set the beers on the bar before turning to grab the liquor to pour their shots.Terro's all-knowing eyes never stray as I move around the back of the bar.I finally find my rhythm and get lost in serving drinks, making small talk and keeping the bar clean until I feel settled and like myself once more.
I’m standing with my back to the room and drying some glasses to put away when a hand on my lower back scares the shit out of me, causing me to drop the glass in my hand and shatter it.Glaring at the man to my left, I snap, “You scared the fuck out of me.”
A small smirk spreads across his face.“You should pay closer attention to your surroundings.”Twitchchuckles.
“Wouldn't have to if you weren’t always sneaking around like a damn ninja,” I sass back to him.
“Are you really going to go with Ainsley and Tasia into town?”His question stings even though I know it’s not meant to.
Biting back the hasty retort isn’t easy, but I do.“I am.I think it’ll be fun.To be honest, I haven’t hardly left the club or the grounds since the day I got here.I’m excited for a girl's day.”
Before he can say anything, I move away to get the broom and start cleaning up the shattered glass.The words that follow rattle me in a way I didn’t think was possible at this point.
“Playing with fire there, Twitch,” Terro warns.
“Not sure what you’re getting at, VP, but I can promise you there isn’t anything there and never will be,” Twitch snaps.
Why does it sting like this?I don’t want to belong to anyone, don’t want to be claimed again, but somehow knowing that you aren’t wanted still shreds something deep in your soul.Shaking those thoughts away, I bury myself in tending bar, letting the sounds of the clubhouse drown out my wayward thoughts.When it’s time for the guys to head to the airport, I slip into the kitchen so I don’t have to watch Blitz leave.Cowardly and even a little childish, maybe, but the thought of him leaving makes something cold settle in my chest.I know we’re nothing.Damn, he has given me more than I deserve.And maybe what I feel for him is nothing more than a fucked-up hero worship.But what I do know is that it guts me every single time I’m reminded that I’m nothing more than an obligation.A ghost who is broken and too afraid to leave the clubhouse.
He’ll never see me as anything but broken, and I’ll lie to myself every day that it’s what I want.
Three
Blitz
Throwing my duffel over my shoulder, I pull my door closed, not locking it because Twitch is going to have to get in there and clean up the mess that I made.As I clear the mouth of the hallway, I look around for Charlie, needing just another glimpse of her to know that she is here and is safe.Panic seizes my thoughts when I don’t find her behind the bar smiling and sassing the brothers.Movement by the door to the kitchen catches my attention when Twitch comes through the doorway holding a rack of glasses.
My feet finally come unglued.“Twitch, I need to get my room cleaned up and get the broken shit replaced while I’m gone,” I call as I make my way to the bar.
He looks over his shoulder with a furrowed brow.“Yeah sure.Anything in particular you want it replaced with?”
“Get with Charlie.Whatever she says I need, then get it,” I tell him without thinking through what just came out of my mouth.
Terro turns on his bar stool with that knowing smirk that is always on his face.“Charlie?Are you finally ready?”
“You’ve finally fucking lost it, brother.”I reply as I glare at him.“She is the one who has helped update and replace all the shit in this place since she’s been here.It seems that the smartest thing would be to have her continue to do so.”
“Rrright.If that’s what you have to tell yourself to sleep at night,” Terro drags out.He stands and then makes his way to the door.
I take the seat next to Raider, which Terro had just vacated, then wave for Twitch to grab me a drink.Raider runs his finger around the rim of the shot glass in front of him, seeming to be lost in thought.Pulling my phone from my pocket, I start to check some emails when his words stop me cold.
“Are you ready to tell me what's got you so damn twisted up?”
Swallowing hard, I meet his eyes.“I don’t know what you're fucking talking about.Want to give me a few more context clues?”
Raider narrows his eerie two-toned eyes at me.“You have until you come back from Arizona to get it fucking straight or you will have some fucking problems.Is that enough fucking context?”
I open my mouth when he holds up a hand, placing his phone to his ear.“Yeah?”
Spinning my beer bottle in my hands, I listen to the one-sided phone call.
“Fucking now?You know, a little more of a fucking heads-up would be nice,” Raider snarls.
“Yeah,” he sighs.“Thirty.At the slaughterhouse.”Raider lays the phone on the top of the bar, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking over at me.
“Get the brothers who are here and not in the middle of something.The Italians have a delivery for us.The three of you leaving should have just enough time to help with the handoff and then be on your way to the airport,” he states before standing and heading for the door.
