“Charlie, I really do not have time for you right now,” I huff leaning on the door frame with my arms crossed over my chest.
The smile on her face wavers slightly.“Oh, I was just checking to make sure that you’re okay.You seemed a little lost in thought when you stormed through the great room.”
I narrow my eyes on her, the anger at all the lies rising, looking for a mark, and right this second that is Charlie.“Are you really standing here asking me if I’m fucking okay?The woman who can’t even hardly leave the grounds without nearly passing out?”
Her sharp inhale gives me a slight pause.“You're right, it’s not my place.”
“Look, I’ve got shit going on, and now Raider is sending some of us to Arizona to help our brothers out there.So, unless you really need something, I’ve got shit to do before we make our way out.”Trying to soften my words while still keeping her at a distance is a line I’m failing to manage.
Charlie steps into me, kissing me on the cheek before whispering in my ear, “I’m sorry you're struggling, but being a dick to me because of it is a new low for you.”
She pulls away and steps back.My arm snaps out and stops her as I step closer to whisper low, “Maybe if I wasn’t keeping your fucking secret, I wouldn’t feel like I needed to be such a fucking dick.”
She looks at me over her shoulder, her eyes shining with tears.“No one is asking you to keep my secret.So, if that’s your fucking problem, then maybe we need to finally be honest.”
Her words cause panic to wrap its long fingers around my soul.“If you say a word to anyone, I will not be the only one to lose it all.Do not get it fucking twisted, I’m the brother.You’re the charity case.”
A single tear runs down her face.“Understood.”
Charlie pulls her arm from my grip and rushes down the hall and into the bathroom.Stepping back into my room, I brace my hands on either side of the closed door, trying to rein in my warring emotions.When the emotions get to be too much, I snap with a roar.If it’s not attached to the wall or nailed down, I destroy it.When there is nothing left, I slide to the floor with my back against the wall and drop my head into my hands.
How the fuck am I going to keep up with the lies?
Two
Charlie
Yep, there it was, the words meant to hurt me, and like every time before, they do just that.Stepping to him, I lean up on my toes and kiss him on the cheek.
Leaning closer, I whisper in his ear, “I’m sorry you're struggling, but being a dick to me because of it is a new low for you.”
I pull away and take a step back, giving him a sad smile.My heart is breaking with emotions that I’m still not ready to acknowledge.Just as I turn to walk away, I feel his hand grab my arm, stopping me.Freezing, I hold my breath, waiting for what is coming.I fight every ounce of fear that is currently bleeding into my system.
The heat of his body presses into my side when he whispers low and gruff, “Maybe if I wasn’t keeping your fucking secret, I wouldn’t feel like I need to be such a fucking dick.”
Slowly I turn to look at him over my shoulder, fighting the tears that want to betray the hurt I’m feeling.“No one is asking you to keep my secret.So, if that’s your fucking problem, then maybe we need to finally be honest.”
His eyes snap wider, distress flooding them at my words.“If you say a word to fucking anyone, I will not be the only one to lose it all.Do not get it fucking twisted, I’m the brother.You’re the charity case.”
A single tear runs down my face.“Understood.”
I pull my arm free, rushing down the hall to the bathroom so he can’t see the tears that fall down my face unchecked, because he isn’t wrong.His words are a reminder that I'm nothing more than a fraud and here only for the charity.The feeling of guilt, self-loathing, and pure heartbreak settles in my stomach.Once I’m through the door of the bathroom, the dam on my emotions ruptures, and I barely make it into the stall before the coffee I had for breakfast decides to make a reappearance.When there is nothing left, I stand on trembling legs, stumbling to the sink and looking at the woman in the mirror.
“Will you ever be more than just a complete fuck-up?”I grumble at the broken woman.
Turning on the tap, I rinse my mouth out and splash some water on my face to erase the streaks left by the tears.Taking a centering breath, I pull the door open and run directly into Ivy.She looks me up and down, a sneer on her overly made-up face.Rolling my eyes because this bitch is fucking annoying, I go to push past her and out into the hallway, but she steps in front of me, stopping me.
“Ivy, what the fuck do you want?”I hiss, less in the mood to deal with her shit than I normally am.
“He’ll never truly want you.You're just a charity case that the club pities,” her words hit their mark after what Blitz snarled at me, but I’ll never give anyone the satisfaction of ever seeing me broken again.
I shrug.“You're right.”
It takes everything I have in me not to laugh at the look on her face.She expected me to fight her or deny what she had to say, so when I agreed to it, she was lost for words.We stand looking at each other, neither saying anything for far too damn long.
“If that is all you wanted to say, can I fucking go now?Unlike you, I have an actual job that I have to do,” I snap crossing my arms across my chest in an attempt to hold myself together.
Ivy’s eyes narrow on me before she spins on her heels and wobbles away from me.Unable to stop myself, I roll my eyes at the absurdity of her jealousy and make my way to the storage room to start the inventory for the bar.It does not take me long to get it all counted, seeing as I keep meticulous records of everything I have.When I can’t waste any more time in the stockroom, I take a deep breath and make my way back to the bar.I’m not at all surprised to see several brothers sitting around with the Club Bunnies working to find their way into a brother's pants.
