Raider growls, throwing his hands up, before turning and storming out of the room.We fall in line behind him.I stop at the door and look back at Hermes, who hasn’t moved.
“Hermes?”I question.
He lifts his head, shaking it slightly.I just give him a nod of understanding before stepping through the door and closing it behind me.Raider is pacing the floor, running his hands through his hair.Terro and Rhino are leaning against the table while everyone else just watches.Remedy is rubbing his chin in thought.
“What the fuck did she mean about looking in-house?”He finally asks the same question we all want to know.
“I don’t goddamn know,” Raider is finally fraying at the edges.“One motherfucking time I want some damn answers that don't fucking come with more questions.”
My chest is tight, and I feel as if I can’t breathe.Shea’s words are playing over and over in my head.There is no way she could know anything.Fuck me, at least I hope not.The world starts to spin, and I lean back on the wall so I don’t fall on my ass.
An alarm on someone's phone goes off, and Rhino stands, “As much as I would like to stay here and keep talking, Blitz, Token, and I have to get back to the clubhouse so we can catch our plane.”
“Yeah, go.Just be fucking careful,” Terro waves us off.
Rhino and I make our way out of the slaughterhouse.Getting our bikes started, we tear out of the parking lot, hauling ass back to the clubhouse.The terrifying realization that the secrets I hold are on the verge of coming out, combined with my deep-seated hatred for flying, sends my head into a spin from the sheer anxiety.It nearly makes me pass out from a panic attack.Pulling back on the throttle, I shoot past Rhino, taking the corners a lot faster than I should.I know I shouldn’t take the risk, but I need to shake some of the fucking anxiety, doubt, and stress of everything around me.
We pull into the clubhouse sooner than I really wanted to.After I back my bike into its spot and pull my helmet off, I let out a heavy breath.Sitting there, I work to steady myself so I can get my shit together before we leave for the airport.Rhino and Token slap me on the back as they make their way into the clubhouse.Sitting on my bike, I drop my head back, staring up at the sky while breathing through the anxiety of being trapped on a motherfucking plane for who knows how fucking long.Taking a steadying breath, I stand and begrudgingly make my way towards the clubhouse.Just as I pull the door open, Token and Rhino come out with Twitch on their heels.
“Here, Remedy gave me this for you,” Token says, holding his hand out with two gummies in it.
Cocking an eyebrow in question, I ask, “What the fuck are these?”
Toke shrugs.“He said it would help calm your nerves.”
“I’m not taking that shit,” I grumble.
Token shrugs again and then slides it into the pocket of his cut.“Whatever.Let’s get this shit show on the road.”
Spinning on my heels, I make my way to the SUV, sliding my cut off and laying it over the seat.I slide in and lay my head back on the seat.I try to push everything that has happened to the back of my mind and prep for this flight to Arizona.We pull up to the gate, waiting for it to open.I look out the car window to see Charlie running down the fence line in nothing but running shorts and a sports bra.Her long, dark hair is pulled up high on her head.Warmth spreads through my chest at seeing her whole and healthy.
I instantly push all of that away because what comes with it is guilt, anger, and frustration from lying to my brothers about everything.
Four
Charlie
I’m sitting at the island in the kitchen eating a sandwich and pretending to read my newest book by JL Quincy when Ainsley comes bouncing in.I look up at her and grin.Seeing her today versus the scared, broken woman she was when Mercy brought her in is a reminder that just because things are dark and rough, it can get better.I just pray that in the end, however it happens, I make it out with my heart still intact.When she spots me, her smile grows wide, and she bounces over to me.
I finish chewing my bite.“Anisley, what’re you up to?”
She leans on the island, eyeing me.“Are we going to talk about it?”
Looking over at her, I cock my head in confusion.“What exactly is it that we need to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know, let's start with why all of a sudden I’ve got to practically beg you to leave the confines of these walls?Or the disappearing act you pulled as soon as you could after that little show with Blitz?”Ainsley places her hands on her hips as she talks.
Shrugging, I turn back to my sandwich.“Nothing to talk about.I’m just nervous about all the danger circling the club.”
Ainsley shrugs.“I call bullshit.You promised we wouldn’t lie to each other.So, try the again.”
I turn to her, knowing I’ve got to give her something to keep her from digging.“I’m struggling with Blitz being gone.Every time he leaves for an extended amount of time, I get unsettled.”
Ainsley's eyes fill with mischief and excitement all at once, and she leans closer, dropping her voice to a whisper.“Are you and Blitz a thing?How could you not have told me this?”
I know I look like some cartoon character because of how wide my eyes are.“What?No, we’re not anything.”
I choke the words out.Saying it out loud is like someone has ripped me open and scooped my insides out.It’s the truth, and I know it.It has been said time and time again—burden, charity case, and obligation.I’ve fought the feelings that have grown over time for Blitz because the guilt of having feelings for a man who isn’t Six tries to suffocate me.My emotions and logic are warring so furiously that I completely miss whatever Ainsley has said until she snaps her fingers in my face.
