Unlike me, Shane hadn’t gotten a chance to know Carter like I had—and not just in bed or in the shower. My time on the farm with Carter had revealed a depth to him I doubted many people ever got a chance to see. I wasn’t sure even Carter knew he had that side to him before he came out here to play farmer.
Once he stopped playing and actually got his hands dirty working with me, it turned out Carter was more than just a barking CEO, ordering people around and exploiting people. He was a hard worker and he got right in the mud with me.
“Why were they complaining about you?” Carter asked.
“They think I’m overreacting, not forgiving them for selling off the family farm. They claim I was the one who broke up the family, not them.” I shook my head. “They never even told me they were thinking of selling. We didn’t even have a single conversation about it before the deal was done, and there was no talking them out of it. They knew damn well I was supposed to take over that farm. They had insisted. And then they wentbehind my back and changed my whole future without even a second thought.”
“Yeah, I can see why you haven’t forgiven them,” he said, grabbing my hand and holding it gently, giving me comfort. “It would be like if my father insisted I work for Allory, which he did, but then sold it right when I got out of business school.”
“Exactly. You get it. For some reason, they can’t understand.”
He put his forehead to mine. “Maybe they choose not to understand. Denial is real and it sounds like that’s what’s happening there.”
“It must be nice,” I said with a sigh. “Sometimes I wish I could just ignore things I don’t want to think about. But for me, it’s all I end up focusing on.”
Carter kissed my head and pulled me into his arms for a real hug. “And that’s what makes youyou. And I wouldn’t want to change you in any way.”
CHAPTER 30
CARTER
The next day, I got off to a slow start. Back in Los Angeles, I worked out a lot and tried to stay in good shape, but Shelby had a way of wearing me out.
Sex with her was incredible. I had dated plenty over the years, nothing serious but enough to have experience. With Shelby, it was just better.
I suspected it was because I had real feelings for her. When we got together, it wasn’t just sex. I didn’t know if it was “making love,” but it felt an awful lot like a physical expression of my feelings, rather than just a mechanical act. I wasn’t just there to come and go. With Shelby, I wanted to come andstay.
No one would be printing that sentiment on a greeting card but it didn’t make it any less true. I was falling hard for this sassy farmgirl and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Those thoughts consumed me as I showered. The hot water felt good on my aching muscles, loosening them up. I wished the soap and water could wash away the confusion I was feeling.
No woman before Shelby had made me feel this way. I was borderline obsessed with her, which was insane because we had only just met. But maybe that was how love happened to somepeople, just hitting you out of the clear blue sky like a meteor, changing everything.
Or maybe it was just Shelby who could do that to me. She hypnotized me with her smile, knocked me over with her kiss, and made me laugh, even when she was bossing me around.
And when she looked at me, I was almost certain she was feeling the way I was. Her lips had a slight curve to them like she couldn’t help but smile at me. I only noticed because she had the same effect on me.
The problem was simple geography. Los Angeles and Ferris were pretty much across the country from each other. If we tried giving this thing a real shot, it would require a long-distance relationship, with an emphasis on “long.” We could talk on the phone and video chat, and I could probably fly out this way here and there, but that felt like a pale imitation of what we were experiencing right now.
I didn’t think it would be enough for me, especially since I could never get my fill of Shelby. So for me, long distance was a nonstarter. If I was going to jump into a real relationship, I needed her with me, at my side, in my bed.
But I couldn’t imagine Shelby moving to Los Angeles with me. Living there was great, despite plenty of flaws, but I fully understood a sprawling city like that was not a good fit for everyone, especially someone like Shelby, who seemed to prefer keeping life simple and uncomplicated. And even if there was some way for her to adjust to that life, it still wouldn’t solve the problem of her farm.
Shelby would never give up Granny’s Acre. She had fought tooth and nail to build it into what it was today, which was admittedly still small, but she was surviving, which was more than a lot of people these days. No matter how much she liked me, she wouldn’t shut the farm down and abandon it, and Iwould never ask her to do so. Might as well ask her to chop off a limb or change her name.
The farm life was part of who she was, a part of her identity. And yes, I liked her. Maybe even loved her, which was a seriously troubling thought. I wouldn’t ask her to change everything about herself just to accommodate me. That wasn’t love; it was control.
While I didn’t mind taking control in the bedroom, I wasn’t trying to run her life and tell her how to live it. Hell, I barely knew what I was doing with my own life anymore. Coming to Ferris had changed my perspective on a lot of things, and I was the last person who should be giving anyone life advice right then.
After my shower, I still didn’t have any answers about what I should do about my feelings for Shelby. Spending more time in the steamy bathroom wouldn’t change that, so I got dressed so I could get on with my day. I was hoping to get some time with Shelby later, but first, I had some business to handle.
I had gotten my personal attorneys to draw up new documents for the deal with Ronnie Miller. It was mostly the same as the first deal, but I had sweetened the numbers for Ronnie. Without Allory involved, I didn’t have to worry about the company stealing a huge piece of the pie.
Since I would be using my own money, I could take a lot less of a percentage. This investment didn’t need to make me rich. I was mostly there to help him sell a product I believed in.
He agreed to meet me over at the feed store, which was like the town’s unofficial meeting place. I was starting to like it there. Jake was a good guy and he always welcomed me, even though he knew who I was and what my company had done to the town. Jake didn’t seem to hold it against me, which I appreciated greatly.
He greeted me as I walked into the feed store, waving. “Ronnie’s already in the back.”
