Was he suggesting he wanted to keep some physical distance between us? Was he also still reeling from the kiss we should have never shared? Was he worried he wouldn’t be able to resist me, knowing I was just down the hall?
I shut those ridiculous thoughts down as quickly as they had formed. Yes, the kiss had been amazing, and yes, I wanted more, but hooking up with Carter would be a huge mistake. He knew it and I knew it, and he was the one being an adult about it, not letting things go too far.
The kiss had been mind blowing, knee shaking, and swoon inducing. I could barely imagine what it would be like if we had kept going. I wasn’t entirely sure I would be able to survive sex with Carter.
The guy had a reputation as a ladies’ man. According to what I had seen online when I did a little snooping, he had an active social life in LA, dating actresses, models, and socialites. Which meant he had a lot of experience. Sure, it didn’t guarantee he knew what he was doing in the bedroom, but a guy who playedball every week was going to be better than a guy who played a few times a year.
If practice made perfect, Carter was almost certainly skilled.
I had been with a few guys over the years, some in Ferris and some in college, but most of those encounters had been fumbling, grunting affairs that were fine but not spectacular. I imagined a night with Carter would be a hell of a lot more memorable. A shiver ran through me. I hoped he didn’t notice.
I wasn’t sure what to do in the moment. Before he had shown up, I had been starving. Either the Oreos had been more filling than I’d expected, or the tension I was feeling had killed my appetite because I was no longer hungry.
Even with the power out, I could throw together a simple meal pretty quickly, but the idea of sitting down to eat with Carter in the dark, after that kiss? There was no way I could do it.
“Alright,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady and casual. “I need to clean up and then I think I’m going to call it an early night. Let me just grab you a pillow and blanket.”
“Thank you,” he said.
I went to the closet and grabbed the bedding. Then I got some of my brother’s clothes. I passed it all over to him in the living room.
“Here,” I said. “Put these on so you don’t get my couch all muddy and wet.”
“That’s very considerate of you.” His voice was low and sincere and it lit fires under my skin.
“Well, I didn’t want you running around in your underwear again,” I said.
His eyes widened and he laughed. “Says the woman prancing around in skimpy bunny panties earlier. If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is.”
“One, I wasnotprancing. Two, they werenotskimpy. And three, I was alone.”
“It’s more fun when someone else is around.” His eyes met mine in the darkness, flashing with heat.
Nope. I’m not letting him rile me up again.“There’s food in the kitchen. If you don’t like any of it, sleep hungry. Goodnight, Carter.”
I turned and walked away before I could second-guess the decision. His deep voice carried to me in the darkness. “Goodnight, Shelby.”
I walked upstairs, trying not to think about how long it had been since someone had told me goodnight. At least in person anyway. Jake or Lila might text it here and there, but there was never anybody in this empty house to say it. It felt nice.
Locking my bedroom door behind me, I took deep breaths to calm my racing heart. Apparently, I hadn’t realized just how lonely my life had become since my parents ran away to Georgia. There was a big hole in my heart I hadn’t even noticed until Carter started pushing his way into it.
He might fit perfectly into that empty space, but it didn’t matter, since he would be leaving again at some point. He had an office and a life back in Los Angeles. A company to run. It was wild to me Carter was even still in Ferris after a week and a half.
Being a CEO couldn’t be that difficult if he could spend so much time away, messing around in the country. If I left my farm for two days, the damage would be catastrophic. Then again, my opinions on CEOs and billionaires had been tarnished because of what Allory had put the town through. I found it impossible to trust any of them or respect what they did for a living.
Rationally, I understood it wasn’t all of them. Not all CEOs were soulless vampires, sucking the lifeblood from their communities. Not all billionaires were greed-sick dragons, hoarding wealth and terrorizing the countryside. Butsomeof them were. Carter’s father had been exactly like that.
His son, however, appeared to be different. And in some ways, that made him even more dangerous than his father. When Carter eventually left Ferris, my farm would still be intact but I might not be. The empty hole in my heart would collapse in on itself, crushing me in the process.
With a sigh, I went into my bathroom and lit the scented candle I kept in there. It was the only candle I used on a regular basis. I saved it for when I wanted to feel fancy. The flickering light made the shower feel gloomy and dramatic, which suited my mood just fine.
The water worked even though the power didn’t, and I had a gas water heater, so the spray hitting my tense shoulders was hot and soothing. The tension didn’t drain away immediately, but the knots eased enough to be more bearable.
It had been a brutal day. I made no money, I’d spent hours in the cold and wet, and to top it all off, Carter had blown in like a tornado himself. With a simple kiss, he had turned my entire world on its head, and I had no idea which direction to go now.
My heart wanted affection. My body needed satisfaction. My mind urged caution.
When it came to Carter, all roads would lead to heartbreak. He would be leaving Ferris, probably right after the social media team finished up. And it couldn’t take too long to get some footage and maybe film a commercial.
