Were we? I mean, had I ever sent money to a friend like that? I’d never really had the means, but I guess I would have. For a club brother definitely. And that begged the question that hadn’t even permeated before. How the fuck did he even have my bank details?
There was a brief silence on the other end of the phone, then he was there.
“Rocket? Tell me that’s you. Are you okay? You’re safe?”
“Kinda waiting for you to take a breath,” I tried to joke, because I was out of my depth with letting feelings out around people. Look what happened when I tried, right?
Henley chuckled, but I almost heard some of the tension leave his voice at the same time.
“Jesus, man. You’ve got everyone worried sick.”
I sincerely doubted that, so I ignored his point.
“Thanks. For the cash, I mean. I’ll pay you back, you know, as soon as I’ve got a new job. I’m uh…” I glanced at the dingy hotel room, “I’m working on that.”
“Screw that. I just didn’t want you out on the streets. Thing is, you have a home back here. You have a bed. Somewhere to live. People who care. V-”
“Don’t. I can’t, man.” I couldn’t hear him talking about her right now. It was all too raw, too recent, although I had a feeling this would be the case a week from now, a month, a year, fucking forever. She was the one, I was sure of it. Pity I wasn’t her one, right?
“Where are you? I could meet up with you, get a beer or something. I’m a good listener, man.”
He laughed then. “I’m talking at you like this and saying I listen. I swear I do, though. You’re just not speaking, and I’m really worried you’ll suddenly hang up and just be gone again.”
I swallowed again, that fucking recurring lump in my throat becoming a real pain in my ass.
“I’m not hanging up, but I can’t come back either. Everywhere I go, I make the same mistakes. I trust. I tell myself not to, and I still fucking do. I never learn.”
He didn’t speak right away, and hell, maybe he thought I’d say more, but I didn’t have anything more to say.
“Brother. She-”
“No. Please. I get it. I’m sure she feels bad, but this isn’t on her. It’s on me. I made the mistakes. I fell when she didn’t. I fucking create these messes for myself, and I have nobody to blame. Just me. I…” I glanced at Nixie, fast asleep in my lap. “I’m thankful for the money though. I was worried about Nixie, but vets are expensive, and I… yeah. Thanks.”
“Is she okay?”
I stroked her ear and it twitched softly against my skin.
“Probably. I think she’s sad. I mean, she lost everything too, right?”
Henley groaned. “She still has you, man. You’re who she needs, but, I mean, she’s probably picking up on your sorrow. Dogs are empathic. So when you’re happy, they’re happy. See?”
Happy. I briefly felt that way, and I liked it. Maybe it wasn’t on the cards for me, but many people aren’t happy, right?
“I should go.”
“No!” Henley was quick to blurt out, and that made me suddenly suspicious. Was he trying to keep me on the phone? I mean, sure, maybe he missed his pal, but I suddenly felt like I was in one of those movies where they’re tracking calls and stuff.
“Why?”
“I miss you, you dumb fuck. You were one of the first people I met from the club. I felt like we just fucking clicked, like we’re meant to be brothers. It isn’t the same without you. There’s a fucking gaping hole where my brother used to sit, with a beer in hand, jabbering on about whatever. It felt like home, and you’re not the only one who lost it.”
He huffed a sigh and cursed under his breath, but I was still kinda reeling from his words. I guess I hadn’t considered the impact my leaving would have on him. He was right. We were similar in enough ways that we’d naturally bonded really fast. I’d already been missing him so it made sense.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said, because what the hell else was there?
“Don’t be. Just… can you keep in touch? Reach out to me here? If you need more money, I’ve got you, man. I can even arrange to put you up somewhere. Just… don’t disappear completely.”
He cleared his throat.
