Ted shook his head. “It… it’s not my baby, she’s a fucking whore. You were the right one all along, baby, I was just too blind to see it.”
Carly nudged me back into my seat, and turned to glare at Ted, and although she was about a foot and a half shorter than him, she was in her early fifties, and had that schoolteacher voice that made people crap themselves.
“I’ll count to three, and if you’re still here, I’m detaining you until the police arrive!”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
After V had leftthe clubhouse, I was hurting, fucking bruised on the inside where all my feelings were threatening to choke me. So imagine how agonising it was to step outside my room, and have to play nice as Sophie and Micro showed off their little baby. I mean, I was happy for them, I knew that, and they knew that, but it fucking hurt.
It was like being shown, yet again, the one thing I’d thought I was going to have, just for it to be torn away from me yet again.
I’d headed to see V, because although she’d said she wanted time, I wanted to tell her that I understood. That I didn’t want to push her, or ruin things. That I could wait until she was ready.
I’d watched those two with their baby, and realised that it was what I wanted, no matter how long V made me wait. I wanted to fight for us, while doing my best to try and keep things light, so I wouldn’t scare her off. I’d left Nixie with Harley and Caroline at the shop, but that’s where my day went from shit to a fucking dumpster fire.
I heard her. I heard what they were saying. He was all she’d ever wanted. He had to be Ted, the ex-husband who’d cheated on her, and broken her. I guess I really was just the rebound guy after all. I was nothing more than a dick to ride until the fucker changed his mind, and came for her. How fucking stupid I’d been, putting all my fucking hopes on her, even after she’d tried pushing me away today. Dumbass here thought I can just take things slow, as long as we get to be together, I can give her the time she needs. I’d wanted to tell her that I wasn’t giving up, that I wasn’t running. That I’d wait.
Fucking idiot, fucking idiot, fucking idiot.The words kept rolling in my head over and over, almost in tune to the road rumbling beneath my tyres, the repetitive sounds of the joins in the tarmac punctuating each instance.
I reached the shop in a fucking daze, and when I looked through the window, what did I see? A happy fucking family. Another one that’s not mine. Well, the pup they were cooing over was, but she was all I had. I hadn’t realised she’d be all I’d get, but it’s just her and me now. Time to move on again. Time to put all of this shit behind me. Find another club. Or go solo. Nomad. Stay on the road, pick up short jobs here and there, and just… live.
I stepped into the shop, and Harley turned to greet me, his smile dropping away in an instant.
“Fuck. What happened? You look like you just got your heart stepped on.” Wasn’t he just fucking spot on? I shrugged, reaching out to take Nixie from Caroline, still careful not to touch his woman, even though I might have welcomed the pain of a fist against my face right now.
“Rocket?”
I swallowed hard. “What else is new, right? I uh… Thanks for the opportunity here, man. I’ll always appreciate it.”
Harley grabbed my arm, tugging me away from Caroline, as if I’d fucking hurt his woman, or any woman, for that matter.
“Talk to me, brother. You’re sounding like you’re about to do yourself in.”
I tried smiling at him, but clearly it didn’t buy me any time. If anything, he looked even more alarmed.
“Brother-”
“I’m uh… heading out of town. Need some uh… whatever. I’ll send for my shit when I’m settled.”
“Wait. Rocket, what the fuck? Don’t do this.”
I shook him off, and went to gather up Nixie’s travel carrier, and a few bits from behind the counter, tucking them into my pockets.
“Rocket, just stop and talk to me. I’ve got you, man.”
He could say it, but even as he did, he had half an eye on his woman. On her comfort. On her fucking safety. I couldn’t hate him for it, or even judge him. I’d have been the same, if a single fucking woman on this planet had decided to give me that chance. I could have been her man. Her everything. But he already was, and I’m the only fucker who didn’t realise it.
“Is it V? Did something happen?” Caroline asked, trying to get past Harley to me. I was glad he was keeping her back. Her kindness, that sweet, concerned look, they’d break me in seconds if I let myself see and hear them.
“She… it doesn’t matter. I’ll go grab my shit, and get out of here. Good luck with uh… well, everything.”
When your heart’s breaking like this, when your entire fucking world is dissolving around you, like some cunt poured acid on the walls, there’s only one thing to do.Run. Be the coward I’ve always been, and run. Again. Only this time I was starting over for good. New everything. I’d even toss this phone as soon as possible, and switch to a burner. She was getting her new, old start, and I was getting one last one. If this didn’t work, thenwhat fucking hope did I have? If I couldn’t find a life that actually fit me, with people who actually wanted me, then maybe there was no place on this fucking planet for me.
They followed me outside, Harley talking at me as I strapped Nixie’s carrier to the tank, and put my helmet on.
“Come on, brother. Nothing’s so bad that we can’t help you through it.”
I offered him a quick salute of goodbye, and got on the road. I had a feeling I wouldn’t get out of the clubhouse without some other do-gooder trying to fucking talk me into staying, but it wouldn’t work. Nothing would. Leave. It’s the only fucking option I have left.
