Ice glared at me, then past me at Micro. “I don’t owe you a fucking thing, do I? I don’t owe him anything either. I will always back this club and my colours, but him? He attacked my fucking woman. My old lady. His own fucking sister! What if he’d touched her up, huh? What if he’d fucking raped her? HIS SISTER!”
Micro cursed, heading over to try and speak to Ice, while the man himself glared at all of us in turn.
“You all keep forgiving this shit, but people died. Lissa could have died. She’s my fucking world, and he nearly took her away. I don’t think you people realise just how fucking important she is. Without her, I’d be dead.Jesus. Without her, I will be dead. There’s no version of life for me that doesn’t include her, so if he’d killed her, I’d have ended myself too.”
He was breathing hard by the time he finished speaking, but we all got the gist of it, and he cursed, rubbing a hand over his buzzcut hair, his breath leaving him in a rush.
“Wow. I just said all that, huh?” He glanced at Reacher, who looked horrified, and concerned, and he patted the older man’s chest.
“Don’t worry, Pres. I’m not saying I’m suicidal now. Maybe I was back then. She was the only one keeping me alive, I guess. I don’t think I even realised how much I rely on her, but it’s true. She’s my everything.”
Micro lifted his hands in front of him, placating a man who could just as easily attack.
“I can’t ever apologise enough. I know it was all fucked up and wrong, and I wish I could undo it. Finding out who she was, after the fact, after I nearly fucking hurt her… Jesus, it was like ice down my spine, like it made me realise at last just how fucked up everything I did was. I think it was the first shot of reality. I think… I mean, I can’t ever make up for it, but I’m grateful to her for giving me a chance. Hell, she saved me too, in so many ways.”
“This is really heartwarming and all, but can I go?” Ice was looking at Reacher again, who looked like he wanted to knock some sense into him now.
“Ice…”
“I get it. He’s sorry. He can say it a million times, but I’m not just going to suddenly forgive him. I need more time. I think maybe one day, maybe. Not today. Not now.”
Reacher waved him off, and flagged Ryder over, who was followed by Has-Been.
“Make sure he gets home safe.” They both made for their rides too, and I looked sheepishly from Reacher to Micro.
“So uh… I’m gonna keep my fucking trap shut now. It’s long overdue, right?”
“It all needed to be said,” Micro said quietly, watching our brothers leaving, a wistful look on his face. I could see he missed everyone, and knew he’d made his bed. He couldn’t just go back, because no matter how many times he apologised, it’d never undo a damn thing.
“You’ve done your best, son. If anyone’s still bearing a grudge, that’s not on you,” Reacher said, using a fatherly tone he’d never fucking used with me. I could try to not feel bitter about that, but it was hard not to. I’d never done the things Micro had, I never would, and yet I was never treated like a son by him. Was it something I wanted? I had no idea.
“I’m uh… I’m sorry for causing so much trouble,” I said, backing away from them, because I’d opened my mouth too many fucking times in the last few days, and I could have destroyed everything. As it was, two bikers walked away from the club today. Turned in their cuts, and walked. Decided that the Phoenix ethos was made a fucking mockery of by the things Micro confessed to, and then the rest of the club backed him for. Fuck them if they wanna be quitters.
“Rocket?”
I turned to see Micro following me, and was that wise? That was how this all fucking started, right?
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
The fuck? Was he really thanking me for derailing his life? Or had we fallen into a parallel universe?
“Huh? Why?”
He shrugged, tucking his hands in his pockets, and looking like a sheepish schoolboy.
“I think I’ve known for a while that it needed to happen, but I didn’t have the balls to risk it. You pushed me over the edge I’ve been kinda tiptoeing around for a while, and I think it was a goodthing.” He glanced over his shoulder, and I followed his eyeline, catching sight of Reacher watching us as he spoke to Stitch.
“I’ve been waiting for the axe to fall, you know? Someone finding out, and it all going to shit. I’ve been waiting to lose it all, because I know I’ll never deserve it. I can never atone enough to deserve Soph, and the baby, or all of this. But I guess now I know that there are enough good guys around me to give me that chance. So thanks. You forced me to suck it up and own up to my shit, and now it’s out there. It’s not a secret anymore.”
“We lost two guys though.” I had no idea why I was pointing that out, when he was basically giving me an out here.
“Yeah. Guess they weren’t Phoenix material. Better we know that now, instead of when we might need to lean on them.”
He nodded to himself. “Anyway, thanks.” He stepped closer and reached out to shake hands, dragging me into a bro hug. “Sorry I made life harder for you back there, but I’m glad you’re here now.” He walked back to Reacher and I stared after him, wondering how the fuck he just made me feel like an even bigger cunt. How the hell could I justify hating a guy who was that fucking decent?
V
