“Sit back up and if he asks, tell him you dropped your cell or something.”
“Yeah…good answer.” I eased back up, almost scared to see if he checked for me.
Jashaun headed away from me to greet a little girl wearing a terry cloth cover-up, her French braids trailing behind her as she rushed to him. He swung her up in his arms and placed her on his shoulders like it was the easiest thing to do. A beautiful, petite woman wearing a matching terry-cloth robe, whose ponytail bounced as she walked, hugged him from the side. He leaned briefly into her before catching my gaze. Expecting him to look away in guilt or pretend not to know me, his eyes softened as he smiled at me before the three of them entered the elevator.
“You got quiet on me. What’s going on?”
“He’s with his family. He looks happy. The three of them look good together.”
“Oh…I’m sorry, Raya. Did he see you?”
“Yeah, he smiled at me like he was happy to see me.” I choked over my words. “Like he missed me.”
“Maybe he did. Talk to him.”
“Nope.” I shook my head firmly. “I was supposed to see him like I just did with his family. To remind myself, we had amoment, and that’s it.” I turned off my ignition. “I’ll be fine. Go on and get off this phone. Call you later.”
Resignedly, I inhaled and exhaled and picked up my cell.
Lunch or dinner in San Antonio when I touch down in the city?
Sam replied as if he were waiting for any communication from me,
Can’t wait.
I held the phone to my chest and stepped from the car. The elevator dinged again, and Jashaun walked out and headed straight to me. “Got a sec?”
“Not really,” I replied, though my heart soared that he’d come back to see me. “Need to go inside and get work done.”
He stepped in front of me. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“You’re not.” I tried to move around him, and he gripped my waist. The heat of his hands thrilled me to my naughty core. “Mr. Howard, your family is waiting for you.”
“Jashaun.” He corrected, his expression earnest. “My daughter is with her mother in the pool, having fun unconcerned about me. I saw the look on your face. I’m not with Mara. We’re trying to navigate co-parenting and figuring out a lot of stuff. Being together isn’t one of them.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I bit back my relieved smile, hoping he didn’t notice it.
His eyes narrowed. “Don’t play games, okay? Please. It does matter because you matter. I miss you.”
I shifted from one foot to the other. “And what am I supposed to do with that information? Do you want me to come to your place after they leave, or are you coming to mine? Like, what do you want me to do with that information?”
“I want to know I’m not alone in missing you.” He searched my face. “I was starting to think it was a mistake to be with youlike that, too. To know how it feels to be inside you and know that you don’t want it to happen again is slowly killing me.”
“I don’t want it to happen? You’re the one who implied that all we would have is that moment.” I tapped my foot.
“I didn’t know what would happen with this new role. Still don’t know. It’s been a tough yet amazing experience learning how to be a father. I was being honest and transparent with you, and you took it the wrong way. I can admit I’m a bit of a control freak, and maybe I shouldn’t always process my thoughts out loud before I think about what I’m saying. I’d just had the best night I’d ever had with a woman, thought you felt the same until you left my place like you stole something. Thought maybe you didn’t want to date a man with a child, so I didn’t try harder to get you to stay.”
“That’s never been a deal breaker for me.” I touched my heart with my palm. “Is that why I don’t see you anymore?”
“I’ve been trying to give you space. Not be in your face like I did before. Thought I was handling not being around you, until I saw you. Knew you were hurt when you saw me with Mara and Jussica. Knew that I mattered and that you missed me too.” His hands loosened their grip and slid to my behind to press me into him. “Come see me tonight, or I can come to you.”
“No.” I weakly said as he lowered his head to kiss me. I gave him my cheek when he would’ve touched my lips.
He only held me tighter and kissed my cheek and then my neck. “It’s all good. I know I’ll get some in San Antonio anyway.”
Ignoring the tingling that his lips left on my skin, I jerked my head from him. “What do you mean? How do you know I’m going to San Antonio?”
“We both work for the government, remember? Thought about not going because I figured you would be there. Now, I know you're still hot for me. I’ll see you there.” He took a stepback with a cocky smile, pulling me toward the elevator. “You might as well get on with me and stop being stubborn.”
