“No, it’s just … I don’t know if I can do this right now,” she confesses. The words hurt, but simultaneously, she grabs both of my forearms, anchoring me to her. Her mind is at war with her body.
“I’m not asking for everything,” I tell her hastily, holding her against me. “One day at a time, baby. That’s all I need. Baby steps.”
Her breath catches. “Baby … baby steps.”
“I just want you. Any way I can have you. If all you can give me is a few minutes a day, I happily accept. I don’t care about alone time, or planning dates around Play-Doh and baby bottles. I’m in this, Ella. In whatever way you’ll have me.” I hold in a breath as I wait for her response, and exhale when she relaxes against me.
“Okay,” she whispers, and I lean in to kiss her softly. God, I love how pillowy soft her lips are. They fit so perfectly against mine, and I groan into her mouth. When I feel her tongue tentativelytouch my lips, I open, reveling in how she flicks into my mouth. Before I know it, I’m pulling her into my lap, deepening the kiss as she straddles me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I shouldn’t let this spiral out of control like the last time. But all the blood leaves my brain for southern pastures, and I almost forget how to breathe, let alone slow things down.
Slipping my hands under the hem of her shirt, I slide them up and down her spine, then move one into her hair. The other hand begins a slow trek around her ribs, until I’m cupping one tit, enjoying how the nipple pebbles under my touch. Her breast feels much fuller than I remember, which I’m sure is also due to age, and Ella moans when I pinch the tip between my thumb and forefinger. I break off the kiss before pulling her shirt up and over her head, then bring her breast to my mouth. Circling the tip with my tongue, Ella’s head falls back as she moans again, and I suck aggressively. She cries out, gripping my head and holding it to her, as she grinds down on my hard length. I grab the other breast, giving it the same treatment, as Ella’s hips swivel frantically against me. “Are you going to come, baby? Just from me playing with these beautiful tits?”
“God, Leo, yes, don’t stop,” she moans, and when I nibble lightly on the tip, she tenses, her mouth open with a silent scream, as she orgasms phenomenally. Ella lets out a shuddered exhale as aftershocks rack her body, and I patiently swirl my tongue along her nipple as she comes down from her high. “Holy shit,” she pants.
“That was hot,” I murmur, switching to tongue the other nipple. “Don’t think I’ve ever gotten you off with just nipple play.”
“First time for everything, I guess,” she says breathlessly, then gasps when I nip at her again. “Stop or I’ll come again.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I joke. Honestly, as much as I love coming, there’s nothing I enjoy more in the world than watching Ella come. I’m not sure what has her all riled up tonight, but I’m not complaining.
“I’d like it if you enjoyed this too,” she says.
“Trust me, baby. I’m enjoying this just fine.”
“I mean I want you to come too,” she says exasperatedly, rolling her eyes. She tries to slide off my lap, but I clamp my arms around her. “How am I supposed to get you off if you won’t let me get you in my mouth?”
Fuck. The thought of her on her knees is almost my undoing. “As badly as I’d like that — and trust me, I want that so fucking much — I need to be inside you, Ladybug. Last time was too quick. I swear I can last longer than ten seconds. Frankly, if you put your mouth on me, I’m likely to come in less time than that.”
She smiles bashfully. I love this side of Ella, where she knows what she wants, she knows she can trust me, but she still struggles to admit things out loud. But I’m a patient motherfucker, and I just have to wait her out.
Finally, she confesses, “Maybe if I control the pace, you’ll last longer?”
“Maybe,” I tell her. Hell if I know. “Do you want to stay here, or go to your bedroom?”
“I’d kind of like to stay here. It was always my favorite position with you. When I was in your lap, riding you. I liked having the control, and it always felt really good because you’d hit my clit with each stroke,” she explains.
“You’re in control, baby. This is your show. I’ll do what you tell me to do.”
Ella gives me a beautiful smile as she reaches down to untie my joggers. She pulls them slightly so she can pull out my cock, then looks at me. “Will you take off your shirt? I want to see you.”
I do as she asks, wondering if she’ll finally notice the tattoo over my heart. She’s seen me without a shirt on, when I used her shower after Violet threw up on me, but I don’t think she looked close enough at the three dates I have over my heart. I have a larger tattoo on my side with the names of each soldier I lost, which is much more obvious. The ones for her are somewhat covered by chest hair as well, which may be why she hasn’tcommented on them yet. I know Ella, and she won’t ignore the fact that she’s literally tattooed on my heart.
I wait on bated breath as she stands to push her pants down. She grins shyly as she straddles me again, and I position the tip of my cock at her entrance. Ella exhales as she slowly sits, her heat surrounding me exquisitely, until I fill her completely. My eyes close in bliss, and I’m acutely aware of how perfect it feels with Ella. Even with no other woman to compare it to, I know it’ll never be better than this. It’s then that I hear her gasp.
“Leo! What is this? Why?” she cries out, and I open my eyes to find her staring at the tattoos on my chest. Her finger traces the three sets of numbers I’d had permanently marked on me only weeks before my last deployment. I’d known then what I know now, that Ella Langley was the only woman for me, and if I couldn’t have her, I wouldn’t be with another.
When she reaches the end of the first date, I clear my throat. “The day we met.”
She continues onto the second date, and I state, “Our first date.”
And finally, as she traces the third, “When I told you I love you.”
Her body tenses as she hears my words. I didn’t phrase it in past tense. It isn’t that I loved her. There was never an ending for my love. I’ve loved Ella since I was barely a man. Through high school, breakups, boot camp, and deployments. I’ll love her until my last breath.
I could have added a thousand dates to that tattoo. The first time we kissed, when we had sex, or the first time we danced in the rain. The number of times I called her after I’d lost someone, and she’d patiently helped me through it all. The day I bought her engagement ring, or the time when I went to her dad’s grave to ask for his blessing. There would never be enough space on my skin for tattoos, because Ella made every moment of my life that much better.
As her finger gently touches the still recovering skin of the ladybug outline, I let my hand drift up to her hair, pulling a lockbehind her ear. She doesn’t know I have another appointment scheduled for next week, when I’ll be adding the birthdays for Oliver and Violet. “I got that three weeks ago.”
“Leo,” she says tearfully, her lips only a millimeter from mine. “I have your birthday tattooed on my foot.”
